A Broken Clock

I'm as quite as a clock untill we share a talk. It's up till afterwards, my words begin to walk. Stocked up with good Intentions. The tik to my tok remains unmentioned. I wish for the minute hand to my hour so we can share every second.

[revieloutionne]

[dickiesgrayson]

#IsBruceWayneBatman: a social media au | Part I

[crinosg]

I mean yeah this is exactly what would happen.

Batman has gone to great lengths to create the persona of “Bruce Wayne, upper class twit who could never be Batman.”

If Batman walked into the middle of Gotham Square and pulled off his mask and yelled “I, Bruce Wayne, am Batman!” The Headline would be “Bruce Wayne gets drunk at costume party, driven home by Commissioner James Gordon.”

And on that ride home:

Gordon: You are such a piece of shit you know that right? One of these days that’s not gonna work.

Bruce: *With the biggest shit eating grin ever* I know Jim, but it never stops being funny.

Gordon: So…. out of curiosity, how much money did Ollie lose to you this time?

Bruce: A gentleman never tells Jim, besides, its not about the money, its about the satisfaction of being right….. and the look on his face.

Gordon: Nice.

[jeeperso]

and you just know Alfred has a veritable host of “embarrassing early morning bruce” pics and video raring to go, like after a “skiing accident” to cover up a particularly nasty bat-injury in the line of duty

“I’m fine Alfred.”

“If you are, then prove it by putting on your socksies by your self.”

(source is Harley Quinn season 2, episode 5, but I can see this as part of Dave Willis’ “Happy Bruce” headcanon

[crinosg]

I think the villain reactions would be priceless as well.

Two Face: Look I was friends with Bruce for years. He’s a nice guy, but doesn’t have the brains God gave a fiddler crab. He’s not Batman.

Riddler: I can confirm this. I took him and his board of directors hostage once. He tried to write me a check and got the check wrong. Four. Times. He had to ask his guy Lucius Fox to do it. It was just plain awkward for everyone involved.

Poison Ivy: Bruce is what we in the business call a Himbo, great to look at, a real sweetheart, but not much going on upstairs. I guarantee he’s not Batman.

Penguin: I’ve had Bruce Wayne as a guest at the Iceberg lounge before. Nice guy, excellent tipper, complete and utter moron. If he’s Batman I’ll eat my umbrella.

Joker: What? Oh yea of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. I mean obviously right?

Rest of the villains:……

Joker: Wait, you mean you guys didn’t know? I figured it out like the first day.

Penguin: You…. you’re joking right.

Joker: Penguin you will KNOW when I am joking. Seriously. No one else figured it out. No one. Just me. You guys are dumbasses.

Riddler: *Pinches bridge of nose* Okay…. so if Bruce Wayne is Batman, and you KNEW this the whole time, why not just KILL BRUCE WAYNE?

Joker: *As serious as a heart attack* because I’m not fighting Bruce Wayne, I’m fighting Batman. Obviously.

Riddler: Goddammit I hate you so much Joker. So fucking much. I can literally taste how much I hate you.

[equalistmako]

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

[damianmcgintleman]

he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!

[equalistmako]

you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too 

[prokopetz]

Interestingly, though The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is narrated by Boris Karloff, the big musical number is sung by the late Thurl Ravenscroft - an American voice actor better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger.

My headcanon is that the Grinch and Tony the Tiger had a bad breakup, and “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the resulting breakup song.

[snickerslizard]

Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?

[prokopetz]

Yes.

[iguanamouth]

[star-spangled-jackass]

oh god theres art

[tediousfeline]

@altadude you know what must be done.

[altadude-deactivated20190418]

[lesbopsappho]

ive been avoiding reblogging this honestly but just. What the fuck. What the fuck tumblr

[magickspills]

I apologize to all my followers for this

[watfordwallflower]

if i had to read this you do too

[quinintheclouds]

I have a hate-hate relationship with this

[theepitomeofamess]

………

[anony-phangirl]

Good grief… I’m sorry, but I can’t not reblog this…

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Tis the season bitches

[theresneverenoughfandoms]

DAMN IT WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS BACK YOU HEATHEN

[logan-exe]

Why is this on my dash?

[princeanxious]

…..I’m.. Bothered? by the fact that I’m not bothered by this.

[randomslasher]

You’re not bothered?? I’m not only not bothered, I’m freaking invested. I’m having actual empathetic sadness for The Grinch. I want them to go into couple’s counseling. I want the “ten years later” when Tony visits Whoville on business and meets the reformed Grinch whose heart has grown 3 times its usual size. I want them to reminisce over a shared dinner of roast beast and wine, then spend a drunken night together, then realize that maybe things are different and people really do change. I want a 3-act story where there’s a long dark night of soul searching and the realization that maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance. 

[chooseyourmusehasmoved]

“maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance” is an incredibly profound quote and I did NOT expect to get it from a Grinch x Tony the Tiger post

[lacaja-depandora]

[mysharona1987]

[inkigayeo-deactivated20201105]

ok i need,,, for science,,, pls reblog with your hair colour,,, a fun fact about yourself,,, and whether you like crunchy or soft cookies

[roguesdomain]

Green, likes making frewgy new words and soft like fresh fleece

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

ill be sappy whenever i want. i dont give a shit. i love you. fuck off

[just-shower-thoughts]

The Earth is actually 100% land that happens to be 71% covered by water.

[thepunkprophet]

Fake Punk: I don’t care about catching coronavirus

Real Punk: I should take precautions to help protect the oppressed groups who are vulnerable to this epidemic like low-income households, homeless people and people with disabilities.

[plum-soup]

This isn’t “punk” it’s just being a good person

[thepunkprophet]

Contrary to what many people would have you believe, being a good person despite societal pressure not to be is kinda what punk is about

[just-shower-thoughts]

Someone out there probably performed a random act of kindness, and didn’t tell anyone about it.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Eating spicy food causes pain, but we’ve collectively decided that we like the taste of pain so it’s seen as normal.

[notgoodatparties]

I am Terrible put me back in the Sea

[elvensemi]

Does anyone else have that one friend whose sleep schedule is like an ever-evolving mystery? One day they’ll appear to be asleep for the entire 16 hours that you’re awake, but the next three they won’t appear to actually sleep at all. Sometimes they appear to be on Australian time, other times their schedule has adjusted to somewhere in the middle of the Pacific ocean. (I call this Cthulhu time.) You go a week without seeing them and you have no idea if they’re just really busy, dead, or if their sleep has simply synced up to the exact hours you’re awake and online. The only indication that they’re still in this mortal coil is vague posts about grocery shopping that pop up on their blogs at 4:12AM. 

[elvensemi]

I’m horrified at myself because I randomly decided on 4:12AM for an obscure and horrible hour in the morning, but after I posted I glanced down at the clock and 

did i just vaguepost about myself

[elvensemi]

There are two things I love about this post: 

the number of people who are, with apologies, That Friend

the fact it keeps getting splorts of notes every day at 4:12am

[scootsenshi]

Old people can"t understand when younger people are willing to cut a whole relative off. They have lived their entire lives in guilt or based on some sense of loyalty to someone based on blood. People will abuse you betting on that fact, just because ya’ll are blood that means you have to accept it. No, you don’t.

[overlord-surgeus]

Person: I know it’s hard because he’s your dad-

Me: It’s not

Person: But you love him deep down-

Me: I don’t

[blems4femmes-deactivated2019051]

It’s important to understand how your partner likes to be loved

[evilvillain123456789]

I promise you, this will be the most fucked up game of pick up sticks you’ve ever experienced.

[monsterswithvibes]

i wanna show you all something which is really near and dear to me and which has hurt me deeply, which i hope you all might reblog because this needs to be out there.

humans fucking destroy everything.

this was a park in Middelburg, Holland. It used to be a small theme park called miniatuur Walcheren (miniature, and walcheren is the place it was a miniature of) (though i was too young to remember it now), but they removed the tiny houses and attractions and left this. In the middle of an otherwise ordinary neighbourhood, you had this place which i frequented as a kid, before moving up north.

today, i went back to this park, which to my underdtanding the city council had said they were only going to make some "minor changes" to.

this is what it looks like now:

look me in the eyes and tell me that humans aren't a cancer on this earth. people destroy everything. i'm very angry.

[roguesdomain]

It’s very sad. Probably only did it to cut on minor maintenance costs.