There is no Easter bunny, there is no tooth fairy and there is no Elder scrolls 6, Half life 3, kingdom hearts 4
dirt enthusiast
trying on a metaphor

tannertan36
Show & Tell

Andulka
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
No title available

Product Placement
almost home
NASA
Not today Justin
occasionally subtle
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Three Goblin Art
styofa doing anything
One Nice Bug Per Day
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Janaina Medeiros

JVL
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@sandermiau
There is no Easter bunny, there is no tooth fairy and there is no Elder scrolls 6, Half life 3, kingdom hearts 4
unmute for the love of god please it's amazing
to think I would have just swiped past on mute, therefore not hearing pure unadulterated joy
i hate when you wake up early by accident and then don’t go back to sleep right away & your body is like “oh we’re up? time to get up?” and then you get hungry. like bro no way dude turn that back off. i’m not up yet
Question: What is the greatest magic of all? Answer: Friendship, right? [B]: The greatest magic of all is not friendship, it's chronomancy, the ability to control and warp time. If friendship were the greatest magic, look, it's a pet peeve of mine (...)
DUNGEON MASTER BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN ANSWERS DnD QUESTIONS (TECH SUPPORT | WIRED)
jk Rowling looking right at you
”this file type is not supported” umm grow up?
Your ass is getting opened in notepad
t shirt that says i've misunderstood many social interactions
ffs ....
Additions from my husband: Bakers wear loafers and Zookeepers wear Crocs
Excellent additions.
Angels wear wingtips.
A lumberjack wears Timberlands.
Ice skaters wear slippers
Addition from my mom: delivery drivers wear vans
VERY good addition!
Achilles wears heels.
how is this post from this decade and not like 2012
Puppies getting warm and toasty by the fire, ok?
KITTIES SLAPPING AND HITTING BY THE FIRE
Man sees crab for the first time.
does he…
Live in the
Sea?!
Some fucking
mollusk
pulls up
😈 You are not bound by the Hays code.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who are not punished by the narrative by the end of the story.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who win.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who make evil look fun and cool.
😈 You are allowed to make your fun, cool evil character the protagonist.
😈 You are allowed to glorify, romanticize and eroticize evil characters and villainous acts.
😈 You are not obligated to teach your audience a moral lesson.
I don't want evil to win or to go unpunished. That happens enough already in reality. Let me have my fantasy where evil is punished instead of getting away with it.
Diva down
Happy Halloween, everyone! 👻🎃
You've heard of "big tiddy goth girlfriend"
Get ready for the next big thing
Now in gender neutral! Cleavage power!
so ur at the party right and there’s this girl in the corner with another girl on a leash with the puppy ears on standard stuff and u start talking to her and she introduces the girl on the leash and says “this is my little puppy, Emily. say hi Emily” and the leash girl does a little bark at u and u say “oh that’s nice” and ur looking for a way to avoid the awkward silence during a 4 second period that feels like a half hour so u ask “does she know any tricks?” so the girl says “come on girl, show ‘em” and the puppy girl gets up pulls out a skateboard and starts doing the sickest kick flips u ever saw
About seven and a half years ago, I was #cancelled for making essentially the same post as OP.
NO IT WAS PRETTY FUCKING DIFFERENT
hey do you still have that list of monkey transformation affirmations?
god i really wish i knew what you were talking about because this sounds incredible.
hey so wrong blog but I found it
the comments on any one of this person’s videos are incredible by the way. would highly recommend
oh its. SO much longer than that.
Affirmations:
I can shapeshift into a monkey. I can easily shapeshift into a monkey. I can instantly shapeshift into a monkey. I can safely shapeshift into a monkey. I can easily shapeshift into my original form. I can instantly shapeshift into my original form. I can safely shapeshift into my original form. I can change my DNA in an instant. I am always safe when shapeshifting. My body is always safe when shapeshifting. My mind is always safe when shapeshifting. I keep my human color vision in my monkey form. My body masks my monkey DNA. I appear completely human when in my human form. My body masks my human DNA when in my monkey form. My spirit masks my primate aura and primate energy signature when I will it. My body absorbs every nutrient from the food I eat. I have full control over all of my forms. I innately know how to shift. I have full control of my shifts. I can easily tap into my subconscious mind. Psychic attacks are near impossible to execute upon me. My third eye is open wide. My chakras are safely open, activated and rejuvenated. Meditation comes easily to me. I can see and sense within my mind with absolute vividness and clarity as if in real life. Hypnosis works very well on me. I can easily break out of hypnosis or mind control at any time. I have perfect balance on any surface. I lose any fear of heights. I lose all fear of heights. I lose any fear of darkness. I lose all fear of darkness. I lose any fear of the unknown. I lose all fear of the unknown. I know when I am in danger and what to do about it. I am brave, strong and resilient. I tap into dragon energy to make me a powerful shifter. I tap into centaur energy to make me intelligent and clever.. I tap into griffin energy to make me brave and resilient. I am incredibly intelligent. I am incredibly clever. I am a powerful shifter. I can shapeshift at any time. When I am fully grown, my aging slows down. My lifespan is safely increased. My monkey form ages as I do. My monkey form has the color and pattern I want it to have. My fur color in my monkey form is rich and deep. My hair color in my human form is rich and deep. My monkey form looks exactly like I want it to look. My monkey form is beautiful. My monkey form is extremely fast, strong, agile, and flexible. My human form is extremely fast, strong, agile, and flexible. My body is incredibly efficient in all forms to provide safe efficient transformation. I have boundless, resplendent energy. I can safely absorb and disperse massive amounts of kinetic energy. I land softly from falls of any height. I can easily cling to any surface. I get stronger every full moon. Moonlight calms and refreshes me. I am tireless. I can safely go days without sleep. Three hours of sleep is like a full night’s rest for me. My digestive system safely digests beneficial food and drink at supernatural speeds. My digestive system intelligently utilizes anything beneficial and safely discards anything harmful. My digestive system is perfect in health and function. My digestive system is supernaturally efficient and able to extract maximum nutrition. I have enhanced senses. I have perfect vision. I have perfect hearing. I have a perfect sense of smell. I can track anything by scent alone. I have an incredible sense of direction. I can sense magnetic fields. I can use magnetic fields to know exactly where I am at all times. I enjoy all food. My monkey form can safely withstand any temperature. My human form can safely withstand any temperature. I am comfortable in any temperature. My eye color is soft and stunning. I can make my eyes glow in the dark at will. I can see perfectly in any light level. I have perfect hearing. I safely and naturally repel biting insects. I safely and naturally repel stinging insects. My physical health is perfect. My mental health is perfect. I can heal any wound instantly at will. I can make wounds seal up in seconds. My body swiftly heals fatal wounds. I have a high pain tolerance. My body feels little pain because I can heal wounds instantly. I know when I am being hurt. I am meant to be a shapeshifter. I know that I am meant to be a shapeshifter. I know that I am a shapeshifter. I am immune to all forms of mind control. I am immune to all negative programming. I am the sovereign of myself. I have indomitable willpower. I can do anything if I put my mind to it. I have a natural connection to primates. I can easily communicate with any primate. I can use telepathy with any primate. I love primates. primates love me. I can shapeshift any part of my body into part of my monkey form. I can summon the tail of my monkey form while in my human form. I can easily and safely make sounds like a monkey in my human form. I have retractable fangs in my human form. I can summon my fangs at will. I can retract my fangs at will. When my fangs are retracted they are impossible to detect. My retractable fangs are the perfect size for my mouth. My fangs are exactly how I imagine them. I have retractable primate claws in my human form. When my claws are retracted they are impossible to detect. I can summon my claws at will. I can retract my claws at will. My retractable claws are exactly how I imagine them. I am a master of fighting with my claws. I am a master of all forms of fighting. I am a master of fighting in my monkey form. I know when to talk and when to fight. I have supernatural intelligence. I am a great problem solver. I have perfect memory. I can easily remember massive amounts of related and unrelated information. I am extremely stealthy. I can travel anywhere without being seen or heard…. I am a master survivalist. I can survive in the wilderness easily. I can go a long time without food or water. I can survive any situation. I am grateful for any animal that dies to sustain me. I am a master hunter. I can easily detect lies. I have perfect balance…. All my chakras safely open, unblock, rejuvenate and flow with boundless energy. I can shapeshift into a normal sized monkey at will…. I can shapeshift into a giant monkey at will…. My giant monkey form is as large as I want it to be…. I can shapeshift into an anthropomorphic, monkey…. My anthropomorphic, monkey form is the height I want it to be…. My anthropomorphic, monkey form has the same color and pattern of my normal monkey form…. My anthropomorphic, monkey form looks exactly how I want it to look…. I have a human mind in all of my forms…. I have full control in all of my forms…. I can hybridize my monkey form with any of my other forms…. Any clothes I am wearing vanish when I shapeshift into a full monkey…. Any clothes I am wearing when I shapeshift into a full monkey reappear on my body when I shapeshift into my original form…. I intuitively know if it is a bad idea to shapeshift…. I can sense other shapeshifters from miles away. I can see perfectly in pure darkness. I have a deep respect for nature. I have a deep respect for primates. I can speak human languages while in my monkey form. I can use any powers I have while in my monkey form. All fillings, crowns, and cavities in my teeth are replaced with healthy tooth material. My teeth are perfectly white and healthy. My immune system is incredibly strong and safely wipes out all disease and cancer cells. My body is always safely full of energy and at peak performance. My mind is free of all limiting beliefs preventing me from reaching my goals. My mind is powerful. All positive and beneficial affirmations program my subconscious instantly. Affirmations I desire program my subconscious instantly. Affirmations I approve of program my subconscious instantly. I safely take in and absorb all subliminals. I bypass negativity to create instant and infinite results. All results gained from this subliminal are permanent.
oh my god???