MEANWHILE AT THE FORTRESS OF FAGGOTRY

average pothead puppygirl 21 $IsabellaJustice69 if youre feeling generous

[ultrafacts]

[liluglydudefromdetroit]

So play like a noob? got it

[filipfatalattractionrblog]

You’re joking, but it actually is a popular theory in chess that a complete noob potentially can beat a master by confusing them - as the noob doesn’t know what they’re doing the master is unable to recognize which of valid strategies they’re pursuing and cannot deploy proper counterstrategy.

[direwolf-distributor]

Chessmasters when their opponent doesn’t make one of the five approved optimal opening moves:

[queerscout]

#used to do shit like this when we fenced#for real tho a newbie is way more of an issue than a master because WHAT are you doing???

I’m currently a fencing coach for a high school club and my least disciplined fencer routinely beats kids who have been fencing for 5-6 years because he’s just so unpredictable and messy that his opponents have no idea what to do.

[cephalopodvictorious]

I know what a master is doing, I just may not be faster than them. I know I’m faster than a newbie but hey what the fuck is happening?

[princecharmingtobe]

I have, on rare occasions, won pokemon battles like this. I have no idea what the meta is, and just slap things together that sound cool. It’s fun when you win by taking someone completely off guard because “Who would run that?!” Idk man, the noob that just kicked your ass. I’m not smart enough for all these mind games that go into serious competitive pokemon, but I do know big laser go pew.

[chaointe]

The Newbie Flail™ is the most terrifying attack imaginable.

[chokopoppo]

[athingofvikings]

“The best swordsman on the planet doesn’t fear the second-best swordsman. He fears the new swordsman, because he has no idea what the lunatic will do.”

[catgirlforeskin]

One of the main reasons fencing against a total beginner can be difficult is that they have no self-preservation. They either don’t know or don’t care to defend themselves the way someone with more experience does, and have no issue leaving themselves vulnerable to make attacks, which breaks down the usual tempo of a fight and puts you on the defensive (because you value your safety), and you don’t want to be on the defensive.

[unoisveimved-un-medicated]

If I had a nickel every time I recieved fencing advise from a trans girl on tumblr with the term catgirl in her url I’d have two nickels! Which you know it’s not a lot but it’s funny it happened twice.

[catgirlforeskin]

We have a long and treasured warrior history. Google “warrior cats” to find out more

[needsmoreexplosions]

stop with all this “man cave” and “she shed” nonsense. Its your evil lair. Embrace it

[perrine-hideaway]

What came to mind when I read “She shed” :

[needsmoreexplosions]

Mon dieu… She DOES shed

[s0upyboy]

i’ve some how managed to turn an old gay man on pinterest into a jerma stan by complete accident what is happening

[s0upyboy]

update, John if you’re seeing this i love you you’re my favorite mutual

[s0upyboy]

I’m literally a trans guy??? who’s gay??? I’m a man who likes other men??

Edit: that person is a terf, just so you all know John says trans rights🫶

[rubixpsyche]

BASED JOHN THE JERMA STAN

[mariacallous]

[pupyjpeg]

This is why the liberal fetish for the Adults in the Room is so concerning because the military guys are just admitting "yeah we have the guns and the power and nothing happens unless we say it can" which is of course not really the thing you want to fall back on when the country's political norms are disintegrating

[runby2]

Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .

[runby2]

You can not just say this without dropping the whole story

[alonelybeemakingart]

Ok so,

My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.

The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn't read the things written by Hand, because he wasn't wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he's like:

"Oh, sorry sir you can't do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)"

The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen't take the document with him.

The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:

This is a robbery

[gay-jesus-probably]

Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead

[theprofessional-amateur-deactiv]

I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).

So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.

A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:

Her: how can I help you today?

Him: I’m here to get money

Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*

Him: all the information is on the paper

Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper

SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.

Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.

ONE HOUR LATER

Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.

To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”

Her: I am so embarrassed

FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-

Her: I feel so dumb!

FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)

[bippysaurus-rex]

I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.

He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you're shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.

So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.

"Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it'll go through and not hit anything vital and I'll be able to quit this fucking job. I'll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register."

This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming "SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY".

[cheesepoon-deactivated20231010]

@rmilkies

[byrdsfly]

One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he'd been shot at once.

One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.

My uncle pointed at the "No Smoking" sign and told him in no uncertain terms, "Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first."

This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.

My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.

[astraltrickster]

This is what I like to call the Bugs Bunny Deescalation Strategy

[rylandsgrace]

We live in a dystopia....

[neil-gaiman]

If the background actors don't come in for work because they exist virtually then the background costume and background hair and make up and their catering and transport and all the other departments that look after them get cut too. These things have knock on effects...

[voice-of-illogical-sense]

[flagellant]

this is what a Bodhisattva is

[alexaloraetheris]

Oh, literally!

[flagellant]

Wait, did people think I was just saying it as a meme and not literally pointing out "this is just that specific thing from Buddhism everyone thinks is equivalent to Christian sainthood"??????

[tobiasdrake]

I owe Cassie an apology.

Growing up in the 90's, I fell in love with Animorphs pretty soon after it started being published. It was my favorite series. These characters and ideas have lived rent-free in my head for thirty years. As a kid, I read their books back to back every night when I went to bed, and whenever I caught up, I went back to issue #1 and read them again.

I was obsessed. So much so that when I changed my name, I took my first name from one of their characters. My favorite, in fact; The one I related to the most.

(Ironically, I now consider myself more of a Rachel, but I was like 12 at the time.)

But I never really connected with Cassie. I was a little boy who wanted to see the characters do cool things, and she was the nag. The naysayer. The one who was always trying to get in the way of doing the cool things and fighting the bad guys.

I didn't appreciate her then.

I do now. Cassie was the moral center in a story about the corrosive morality of war. At the start of the series, the Animorphs draw lines in the sand. These are the moral guidelines. These are the lines we do not cross. We are the good guys, and this is how we stay the good guys.

Then, over the course of 54 issues, they gradually cross every one of those lines. The war gets uglier. It gets bloodier. And it makes them into people they didn't want to become. It carves them into soldiers, whether they want to be or not.

And through it all, there's Cassie. Asking the questions. Is this a line we should be crossing? Is this really the morally correct way to fight?

And sometimes, the answer is yes.

And sometimes, the answer is no. But they do it anyways. They make compromises. Even Cassie makes compromises; She's not exempt from the horrors of war.

But she keeps asking the questions. She's the only one who keeps asking the questions. Who keeps the kind of person she wants to be in her heart, even as the war struggles to shape the kind of person she's becoming.

It's what allows her to recover in the end, when Jake and Rachel and Tobias can't. It's what allows her to ultimately leave, when even Marco and Ax get caught up in the next war. Because she, alone, held tightly to her values even when she knew they had to be set aside for the moment here or there.

She never stopped asking the questions. And because of that, there never stopped being a place for her in civilian life. In a sense, she's the only one who ever truly came home.

[elierlick]

Everyone in NYC got a screeching emergency alert telling us not to heat up our food. Yet all the commercial billboards, NYPD stations, and other utterly unnecessary utilities are left powered on. That’s class warfare, plain and simple.

[brunhiddensmusings]

there is a drought, not enough water to drink, yet the wealthy still have ornamental fountains running, full swimming pools, and lush green golf courses

[elierlick]

Just got a similar email from ConEdison yesterday and it’s the same thing. Profit over people.

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[boy-obsesed-barbie]

That time Triple H accidentally came out as bisexual and immediately regretted it

[rubixpsyche]

Rare L for the Bilinguals who cannot use this line

[perfectly-princely-emo-nightmare]

With NASA announcing their streaming service NASA+ and also announcing it’s going to be free and also ad free, I’d just like to appreciate the lengths they go to make scientific knowledge and exploration as available as they possibly can.

[cosleia]

There's more info at this link. Gosh I'm excited about this.

NASA Launches Beta Site; On-Demand Streaming, App Update Coming Soon

NASA is elevating its digital platforms for the benefit of all by revamping its flagship and science websites, adding its first on-demand st

[skittybot]

bunnygirl who makes a really dumb and unfunny joke bc she feels comfy and safe around u, call that a flop post

[anzu-marr-first-floret]

Nyams Ur post -w-

[skittybot]

nooooo eating my post!! ;x;

[anzu-marr-first-floret]

... :3 nyamin faster owo

[skittybot]

...its gone.........its all gone........

[anzu-marr-first-floret]

Is Oki now post part of aby code foreba... :3

[skittybot]

omg now my post is part of the kitty....waow.... (◕.◕ )

[louisegluckpdf]

starting a collection

[odinsblog]

Pick a goddamn lane

[sashadarkmane]

did i get fucking shadow banned?

[star-mom-selkie]

why did i commit to the slime thing right when everybody switched to being horny for robotgirls. this isnt fair.

[star-mom-selkie]

thank u.. i shed but a single gooey tear..

[star-mom-selkie]

i appreciate u @cat-eared-rose . kissies for u

... i did conceptualize a slimegirl molded over a robotic chassis, using it like a bone structure with slime as the synthetic skin.. but alas i dont believe tumblr is ready for that yet.

[sheetmetaleater]

tell me your vision

[kira-serialfaggot]

Pretty sure that's a thing. I remember reblogging some art that was that exact concept

[only-tiktoks]

[fieldbears]

Sharing the secrets of your hearth with strangers who will never be able to meet or thank you. Honoring the dead through learning their traditions of the home; emulation and exaltation. A good carrot cake.