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leecheedoodles

puffs and ruffs!! (ง'̀-’́)ง

bimbocracy

every single negative stereotype about women was dreamt up by men who were projecting. fight me about it.

bimbocracy

“women can’t drive”

It is so well known that women are better and safer drivers than men that OUR CAR INSURANCE RATES ARE LOWER. Women get into fewer accidents, get fewer DUIs, and receive fewer speeding tickets than men.

“women never shut up”

Several scientific studies have shown that not only do men talk more than women, they also think that women have been talking for much longer than they actually have. Men interrupt and talk over women, dominate conversations, and still think women talk too much.

“women are shallow”

Lol next

“my wife is my ball and chain lmao”

Multiple studies have shown that marriage between men and women: Increases male lifespan, decreases female lifespan Decreases male depression rates, increases female depression rates Decreases male stress levels, increases female stress levels Increases male health and happiness, decreases female health and happiness Increases a man’s chance of getting a raise or promotion, decreases a woman’s chances of getting a raise or promotion

“women are too emotional”

Men love to say this about women after hurting them, in order to shift the blame and dismiss their feelings in one go. In reality, women are taught to hold our tongues and control ourselves quite literally from birth. We’re taught to put men’s needs and wants ahead of our own emotions regardless of the personal cost. Men are taught to do more or less whatever the fuck they want to women. Men take their emotions out on women while women are expected to shove theirs down.

I could go on and on but I don’t really think I need to.

control999

Don’t know if I agree or not, but it’s definitely an interesting point.

bimbocracy

the nice thing about statistics is that you don’t actually have to agree with them in order for them to be true

moved-to-korrigantsionnach-deac

I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.

femonologue

The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.

No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.

femonologue

Every once in a while, when I’m feeling down, I go and look at the notes on this post and they make me feel a lot better. This is the energy I want to carry into 2018.

thestarfishdancer

For those who need to carry it into 2019.

aliaoftheknives

also b4 i forget:

keanu reeves is better at using singular they to refer to a non-binary person than half of the people i know irl who have known i’m trans for years now lmao

in conclusion: no cops at pride just keanu and his motorcycle

realtransfacts

Oh yeah I was AFAB.

Assigned Fucker At Birth.

realtransfacts

#Assigned Fucker And Bastard

Yes.

fromthecrypt

My cat: *kneading his blanky*

Me, in tears: do you even know what good bread you would bake

weloveshortvideos

snailandwellmet

I love the guy who’s clearly a teacher who came over with the intent to tear two fucking idiot teenagers apart from each other only to find these fucking nerds it probably made his entire month

daftqunk

seth everman going WILD in the background

gringoslur

@spanish speakers te amo feels weird to say??????

gringoslur

TE AMO! IS TOO! INTIMATE!! maybe if you say it quickly and in a jokey way its ok but in a serious talk??? it feels too much!!!!!!!

gringoslur

“i love you” is NOTHING compared to te amo. i love you feels like a kiss on the check and te amo feels like fucking marriage.

gringoslur

#I have like a whole thing on saying te amo to anyone

YEA. i had a relationship with someone and she dropped the “te amo” super quicky and i was like…………”thats ok, thank you, but im gonna be honest w you….i’m not saying te amo until i really feel it” thats how serious it is.

morsking

tindez

te amo IS very serious, very deep, very intimate. when you want to tell someone that you love them without it being massive, the term you want is te quiero

vatupassi-deactivated20221120

cant believe no one had contributed this

two-nipples-maybe-more

eliestela

Accuarte AF.

“Te quiero” is the best alternative so we all do not succumb into a “te amo” anxiety.

badkidgorgug

Since we’re including other languages, any tips for Japanese learners?

vann-haal

Your friendly neighborhood bilingual here to help you out @just-fic-me-up

So idk if you can read hiragana so I’ll just use English letters. There are 4 ways to say you care about somebody in Japanese with increasing degrees of intimacy. Suki is like “I like sushi” type loose feeling. Also used for crushes or “I’d like to ask that person out.” Daisuki is literally “like a lot” and is used for “I love sushi” or “I really like this person” but tends to get translated as “I love you” which is pretty correct. Couples use it for each other

Next up is aishiteru and that’s. Hoo. Boy howdy. That’s te amo levels of intimate. You say that like before you propose, when you’re married, etc. It’s more like “I’m in love with you” and it’s very special. You won’t ever hear this used outside of very private moments between irl couples. I haven’t even seen it used in fiction honestly. And then there’s the big dog

The K word as my wife and I call it. He’s half Japanese and he has never said this to me despite us being literally married and we started dating my senior year of hs which was six and a half years ago. I’ve used this with him MAYBE thrice IF that often. I’ve never seen or heard it used literally ever is how special and intimate this phrase is. Not to totally and completely undersell this but it’s like a “once in a lifetime, the only person who could ever hold my heart” kind of intimate expression of love. It’s whispered on your deathbed to your lover of 65 years special. It’s koishiteru and you DO NOT use that word lightly if ever. It ties your soul directly to someone else’s with just a few sounds

But those are the tiers in Japanese. Go forth my friend and wield your newfound knowledge wisely

tumblunni

Im realizing how limited english is with only one word to cover all of that. No wonder its such an awkward language for translations!

the-stray-liger

Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job

beefybluewerewolf

dracophile

Spider strength he can’t control + Lifts = Hilarity

aethersea

Miles, muttering to himself: do not yeet the ballerina. do NOT yeet the ballerina

thatgirlonstage

Jumps. JUMPS.

Miles frantically googling “How high can normal people jump??? How high can ballerinas jump?????? I don’t think I’m supposed to be able to jump straight up to the ceiling and also I keep getting stuck up there please help”

phantoms-lair

Once Mile’s spider sense pinged lightly about a balcony set and he told the crew master he had a bad feeling about it. The balcony collapsed later. No one was hurt, but now Miles has to go over sets and pronounce them clear of ‘bad feelings’

He’s not even good enough to be in shows yet, but nothing goes out without his seal of approval

firebirdeternal

honestly I have known so many stage managers and props department people who are Exactly This Superstitious. (And hell, in this case they’re not even wrong he literally has magic danger powers)

I’ve also known a few dancers, and without exception the reaction to finding out this boy can effortlessly hold them in a single arm lift or YEET them dozens of feet in the air (And catch them after!) would be PURE GLEE.

crazy-pages

“Okay, Glynda, look, we all know he’s Spiderman. Kid’s terrible at hiding it. But imagine this. None of us tell him we know and none of us tell him how high ballerinas can really throw their partners. And each class we just keep on pretending like we’re impressed with how fast he’s improving but, y'know, he’s still got further to go.”

“Uhuh, yeah, I see that look in your eyes Glynda. You know exactly where I’m going with this. How high do you think Spiderman can throw you?”

“Okay, Glynda, stop giggling, the giggling is creepy. Dessie, please make her stop giggling.”

totallyfubar

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

catchymemes

The Collection

lamaenthel

shoutout to paris hilton for not abandoning her ‘micropig’

when it turned out that it was a normal piggy who grew up to be a big fat fatty piggu

chupicronian

Actually that’s pretty standard size for a micro pig. Pigs are ENORMOUS, dude. The average pig on a farm is 7 feet long and over 700 lbs. A normal pig would be much bigger than Hilton.

EDIT: This is a photo of the world’s smallest recognized breed of pig, the kune kune. I’m sorry cartoons lied to you all.

This is the pot bellied pig, another famous “small” breed.

This is your average adult pig.

catbountry

Big ole’ pigs.

kamiyu910

Wild boars can feed people for a very long time! I believe this one was 1800 lbs. (largest piggy ever was about 1,984 lbs)

annabellioncourt

I NOW KNOW WHY WILD BOARS WERE SO DANGEROUS IN THE DARK AGES HOLY SHIT; RICHARD III I TAKE BACK ALL THE TRASH I TALKED ABOUT YOUR HOUSE CREST GOOD GOD THAT’S TERRIFYING.

blueboxkitten

Also, don’t let the size full you, they can run as fast if not faster then your average dog. Those fat pink fuckers will come for you!!!

snatch-daddy

There’s a reason you hunt them with spears and don’t throw the spear at the animal.

supreme-leader-stoat

And cross-guards on the spears so that they will not shove their way further up the spear to gore you to death before they die.

tooiconic

This was terrifying thank you

ember-of-sin

@tooiconic More fun hog facts: feral hogs are spreading through the southern and midwest states like a plague.

It’s gotten to the point that in many states, you can hunt them with whatever means you have at your disposal as long as it isn’t chemical or high explosives. No license needed, just go out there and kill them. You can find videos of people hunting at night from jeeps, driving through an open field and encountering 4-5 separate herds, just firing at every hog they can see.

“Texas has very permissive regulations regarding hog hunting, and hunters may pursue hogs all year long with no bag limit. They may be hunted over bait, trapped, hunted at night and from aircraft. As a result, it is estimated that over three quarters of a million hogs are taken by hunters, trappers, and TPWD each year in Texas.Unfortunately, it is not enough. Even though hunters and trappers are killing approximately 30 percent of the hog population in Texas annually, hog numbers are still growing by about 20 percent each year. Biologists and wildlife managers estimate that 70 percent of the hogs in the state will have to be killed each year just to maintain the population and even more must be killed to actually start reducing their numbers.Yes, you read that right: 7 out of every 10 hogs in the state must be killed just to keep their numbers where they are now.“

In some places, farmers and ranchers will provide room, board and ammunition for anyone who wants to spend all day blowing away those hogs. They destroy crops, kill animals, attack pets and people. The females can breed a litter of more than a dozen piglets 3-4 times a year, and they reach sexual maturity within a year. Boars in Europe nowadays get about 250 lbs. American feral hogs? Up to 750 pounds, with a couple specimens that were taken were bigger than that.

Oh, and they’re also bullet-proof.

Okay, not really. But the big, old pigs (especially the boars) get really thick skin around the neck, shoulders and chest that functions much like a kevlar vest. Their skin elsewhere is tough enough that arrows won’t penetrate, their skulls are so damn thick that small-caliber bullets do little, if anything. They’re also highly aggressive and very fast.

This is a little one, but you can see size of the tusks on it, and they’re not shy about using them. There’s a reason why boar hunting was seen as a dangerous hobby and why bagging one of them was a point of pride for any hunter. It required a team effort to bring a boar down, often with hunting dogs that had their own sets of armour to protect them from being gored.

tooiconic

pls don’t tell me this

thespectacularspider-girl

America belongs to the hogs now. It is only a matter of time

ddrvbiblgigb

garfield-baybee

Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow

sabertoothwalrus

walking into the water gym with an electric type

sabertoothwalrus

I just found this almost 5 year old post my brother made me make and I think it deserves some credit

epiphanies

whoop there it is

uservroomvroom

being “the cocky one” is a shtick only accepted when it’s done by men. both men and women get so uncomfortable when a woman acts cocky and confident and it really fucking shows the sexist double standard

champagneholland

call me bad waitress because I always spill the tea

webscene-remade

answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

webscene-remade

scam caller: hello, how are you today?

me: great!

scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.

me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though

scam caller: what?

me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?

scam caller:

me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?

scam caller:

me: I was just wondering, is all

scam caller: why did you answer?

me:

me: what?

scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?

me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.