Folks, it's bad out here.

[hyumjim]

Starting a collection

[hyumjim]

[twistedpictures]

im off twelve steven universe percocet, i’m fumbling bisexual bitches left and right. i don’t give a shit. i had to smoke the grass i was too busy touching your waifu’s balls. I have precambrian sea kin memories i swim in Trilobite pussy. Puffed the Nagito pack so hard they’re flying pride flags half mast. this shit ain’t nothing to me man. Refer back to my bio motherfucker, check the pronouns you’ll see that I am him

[silvaurum]

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

[silvaurum]

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

[silvaurum]

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

[fallout-lou-begas]

Visit Original Link

[snoleopard7]

[throathole]

This is what burgers look like in your mind when all the places to get food near you have already closed

[hungwy]

can not pick this burrito up bc its heavy and im scared it’ll bust a fat burrito nut if i lift it so its positioned like a meat obelisk for me to deepthroat

[allimaginedandallconceivable]

Everything about this statement turned me on……

[hungwy]

Would you like to publically role play sex about it?

[userfish]

genuinely crying laughing

[hungwy]

download killing upload pain. instant thousand deaths to brain. motherboard on murder spree. blood computer victory.

[dramatic-dolphin]

one time my sister and i were walking up the stairs and heard a bunch of banging noises coming from an apartment, and she turned to me and said "aborted neighbor". and i was just like. i'm glad we're the same kind of terminally online and i know exactly what you are referencing because otherwise this would sound insane.

[dramatic-dolphin]

this is what the refrance

[bison2winquote]

Dmitri Maxlemoff, Umpire Savior (Clapcom)

[cleaningouttherooms]

sex is some naked bullshit and food is some crap they found on the ground but online poker is forever

[pitbolshevik]

i love when you’re talking to someone who’s not from florida and you just casually mention a thing that only happens in Florida and it ruins their whole day

[pitbolshevik]

one time i was talking to some guy and he was like “haha how do yall get alligators in your backyard? do you not have fences?” and i had to inform him that gators can absolutely climb fences

[pitbolshevik]

omw to go sit in your pool

[gaymageclub]

this is why kennedy space center had to install fancy outward-curving fences around the launchpad, bc gators climbing over regular fences and getting on the launchpad could be very dangerous

[songsofwaterandnight]

I’d like to think that the “STOP 🛑” sign is also for the gators.

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

The gators don’t abide by our petty laws. They are…instigators.

[weaselle]

turns out they climb trees too. Like regularly. they tend to do it a lot less once they reach certain sizes, but like several crocodilian species turn out to have a whole development period where they spend a lot of time in trees, and we just never knew that until like 2014 because, understandably, nobody who was studying them thought “i wonder if I should look for a bunch of crocodiles up in the trees”

[frottinq]

new phobia just dropped

[turnipfritters]

haters will see multi-talented queens and develop a phobia

[kaijuno]

[blar-glas-blou]

[wizardarchetypes]

i'm so hungry. won't someone use !tortellini to feed me delicious pasta

[verajustsaid]

!cursedoak

[wizardarchetypes]

[tgirlmaomao]

diary of my life as a swine

day 1: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 2: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 3: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 4: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 5: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 6: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 7: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 8: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 9: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 10: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 11: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 12: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 13: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 14: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 15: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 16: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 17: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 18: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 19: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 20: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 21: eat slop and take a pig nap

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day 23: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 24: eat slop and take a pig nap

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day 33: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 34: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 35: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 36: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 37: knock over the trough roll around in the slop i take a pig nap

day 38: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 39: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 40: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 41: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 42: eat slop and take a pig nap

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day 70: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 71: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 72: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 73: i find myself still clinging to the hope that there is a different life somewhere it condenses into the form of someone who could deliver me from this misery. her snout is so beautiful

day 74: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 75: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 76: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 77: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 78: eat slop and take a pig nap

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day 109: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 110: knock over the trough roll around in the slop i take a pig nap

day 111: eat slop and take a pig nap

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day 224: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 225: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 226: knock over the trough roll around in the slop i take a pig nap

day 227: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 228: eat slop and take a pig nap

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day 234: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 235: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 236: the cold it whisps around and holds you without mercy. the days here are cruel and the nights they grow ever crueler. i forget that this can ever end

day 237: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 238: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 239: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 240: it all stings. it saps my life it saps it and we survive only on aggregate

day 241: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 242: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 243: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 244: eat slop and take a pig nap

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day 277: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 278: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 279: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 280: knock over the trough roll around in the slop i take a pig nap

day 281: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 282: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 283: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 284: i find myself still clinging to the hope that there is a different life somewhere it condenses into the form of someone who could deliver me from this misery. her snout is so beautiful

day 285: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 286: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 287: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 288: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 289: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 290: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 291: another pathetic mass of whining flesh slides out of me. i am unsure where they come from or why and they annoy me with their waves of need their crests and troughs of hunger crest and trough crest and trough trough trough trough

day 292: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 293: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 294: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 295: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 296: their wriggling disgusts me. it is such a shame to be alive

day 297: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 298: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 299: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 300: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 301: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 302: they say i gored another fetid swine but i do not remember the truth. perhaps it was another hog. we all feel the same stimulus in and out how could i tell myself apart

day 303: no slop i take a hog nap

day 304: their pathetic motion tells me they are something to eat and i take a pig nap

day 305: all i see is light and all i hear are sounds. they pull me and i cannot know why. i am sick and i cannot know why

day 306: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 307: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 308: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 309: there is no world ahead of me

day 310: eat slop and take a pig nap

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day 397: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 398: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 399: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 400: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 401: the cold it whisps around and holds you without mercy. the days here are cruel and the nights they grow ever crueler. i forget that this can ever end

day 402: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 403: it all stings. it saps my life it saps it and we survive only on aggregate

day 404: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 405: it all stings. it saps my life it saps it and we survive only on aggregate

day 406: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 407: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 408: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 409: knock over the trough roll around in the slop i take a pig nap

day 410: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 411: eat slop and take a pig nap

day 412: another pathetic mass of whining flesh slides out of me. i am unsure where they come from or why and they annoy me with their waves of need their crests and troughs of hunger crest and trough crest and trough trough trough trough

day 413: eat slop and take a pig nap

[negativeresponse]

reading this aloud without stopping and without telling the audience what they're in for creates a cool sort of performance art

[fiollaigean]

how to cover letter:

polite greeting (it's me, boy)

introduction (i'm the ps5)

establish credentials (speaking to you inside your brain)

establish purpose (leave the girl, we don't need her)

describe what you can bring to the organization (cowboy times in space)

[fiollaigean]

in the post-interview thank you note

[dogpuppy]

[mobiusstripearthtruther-deactiv]

>forgotten where I've left my keys

>no worries, I'm an intellectual

>simply stop, smug look to camera, and announce that I'm entering my mind palace to remember where I put them

>close my eyes and pinch my temple

>instantly find my consciousness transported to the entrance of my mind palace

>mfw I've forgotten my mind keys