Folks, it's bad out here. @schmoovement - Tumblr Blog

Dear Xi Jinping: in order to grow Chinese soft power and capitalize on the Chinese cultural moment, the party must make a Hamilton-style musical about Zhou Enlai that focuses on framing his relationship with Mao Zedong as Yaoi

slavery

Who’s in Baltimore and can spare some pussy

alladoreqi

Lmfaooooooooooo this site is wild

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

taking a break from my mental health to focus on watching a tv show

mwagneto

nobody UNDERSTANDS this post!! this is NOT about feeling BAD and watching your COMFORT show!!! this is about feeling FINE but then CHOOSING to watch a show that makes you want to KILL YOUR SELF

hyumjim

Starting a collection

hyumjim

twistedpictures

im off twelve steven universe percocet, i’m fumbling bisexual bitches left and right. i don’t give a shit. i had to smoke the grass i was too busy touching your waifu’s balls. I have precambrian sea kin memories i swim in Trilobite pussy. Puffed the Nagito pack so hard they’re flying pride flags half mast. this shit ain’t nothing to me man. Refer back to my bio motherfucker, check the pronouns you’ll see that I am him

silvaurum

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

silvaurum

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

silvaurum

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

fallout-lou-begas

Visit Original Link

snoleopard7

throathole

This is what burgers look like in your mind when all the places to get food near you have already closed

hungwy

can not pick this burrito up bc its heavy and im scared it’ll bust a fat burrito nut if i lift it so its positioned like a meat obelisk for me to deepthroat

allimaginedandallconceivable

Everything about this statement turned me on……

hungwy

Would you like to publically role play sex about it?

userfish

genuinely crying laughing

hungwy

download killing upload pain. instant thousand deaths to brain. motherboard on murder spree. blood computer victory.

dramatic-dolphin

one time my sister and i were walking up the stairs and heard a bunch of banging noises coming from an apartment, and she turned to me and said "aborted neighbor". and i was just like. i'm glad we're the same kind of terminally online and i know exactly what you are referencing because otherwise this would sound insane.

dramatic-dolphin

this is what the refrance

bison2winquote

Dmitri Maxlemoff, Umpire Savior (Clapcom)

cleaningouttherooms

sex is some naked bullshit and food is some crap they found on the ground but online poker is forever

pitbolshevik

i love when you’re talking to someone who’s not from florida and you just casually mention a thing that only happens in Florida and it ruins their whole day

pitbolshevik

one time i was talking to some guy and he was like “haha how do yall get alligators in your backyard? do you not have fences?” and i had to inform him that gators can absolutely climb fences

pitbolshevik

omw to go sit in your pool

gaymageclub

this is why kennedy space center had to install fancy outward-curving fences around the launchpad, bc gators climbing over regular fences and getting on the launchpad could be very dangerous

songsofwaterandnight

I’d like to think that the “STOP 🛑” sign is also for the gators.

greatmountainfloofsquatch

The gators don’t abide by our petty laws. They are…instigators.

weaselle

turns out they climb trees too. Like regularly. they tend to do it a lot less once they reach certain sizes, but like several crocodilian species turn out to have a whole development period where they spend a lot of time in trees, and we just never knew that until like 2014 because, understandably, nobody who was studying them thought “i wonder if I should look for a bunch of crocodiles up in the trees”