you remind me of a ship i once knew

Just remember I'll have known that, deep down inside, you were just enough of a bastard to be worth liking. Good Omens Blog AO3

[martial-art-world]

biting is alowed now. in martialarts

[warheads-r-us-deactivated202301]

Yes, that’s a gun in my pants. No, I’m not happy to see you.

[blackwatersinkingship]

When I finish this whale shark lamp all 4 of you are gonna be So I'm pressed

[blackwatersinkingship]

She glows now, just so you know, and she's full of string deliciöusee string

[god-sent-gender-bent]

Are you gonna show us the lamp? 👀

[blackwatersinkingship]

Good news! Whäle shark lämp 🥰

[hollyevolving]

A lot more than 4 of us are impressed

[bashcrandicoot]

Based on a true story

[groveofgreen]

[rongzhi]

A naked eye 3D pterosaur installation at Shanghai Natural History Museum

(The guide is describing the exhibit and talking about the various "flying dinosaurs" and their appearance through history as they emerge from the fossil displays)

[vhen-harel]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tweet from cathartes (no one under 18 emoji) on Jun 14, 2026 reading: "why dont you ship-" it doesnt move my heart or my boner idk what to tell you. i dont choose where i end up. /End ID]

[moonshinemagpie]

researching the history of education in japan and learning that, pre–Meiji Restoration, peasants/commoners formed their own schools to become educated because it was the best way of fighting tax fraud.

That is, when an official told you, a rice farmer, that you owed more taxes than you really did, it was very useful if you were good enough at math to know he was lying (and could prove it) and if you were good enough at writing to write a letter to your government defending your case.

all of which is to say it's crazy that mega-corporations are now pushing education to be "what if you paid us whatever we tell you to for the rest of your life and never do math or write anything ever again"

[sunderwight]

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

[great-art-and-a-purple-tongue]

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

[scribeofchaos]

Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.

Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Tumblr being the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension site makes sense when you realize that 79% of adults in the US are functionally illiterate. Same goes for Twitter and TikTok.

that's a real high number, sport. where'd you get it?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey anon

please tell me you didn't google "US literacy rates" and then make the funniest possible mistake one could make in that situation

[sadgi]

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

[sadgi]

thank you wikipedia for this really good image

[sadgi]

a helpful mnemonic for everyone

[talkwithtatsu]

too good for tags

[headspace-hotel]

This mnemonic has a permanent place in my life.

Every time in yoga class when my instructor would say "now get into a prone position" I would think "ah yes on your pronis"

[awakefor48hours]

Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.

[berkelbites]

One time an acquaintance told me she entered Snape's star chart into chatgpt and I could physically feel that meter dropping three separate times over the course of her sentence

[animentality]

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

"lupita nyong'o can't be helen of troy because helen was greek and there weren't black people in ancient greece"

DO YOU THINK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDNT HAVE BOATS. THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS AND HIS BOAT

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

do you think these people can read

[phoenix]

Best comment I just saw "Helen of Troy was perfectly cast, because all these men are fighting about her."

[seaphine]

we all have one foot in a fairytale, and the other in the abyss.

[kaijuyuri]

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

[kaijuyuri]

my proof

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

Wetterbericht im Radio: "Und in den nächsten Tagen kratzen wir an oder überschreiten wir vielleicht sogar die 40 Grad Marke."

[blessyouhawkeye]

forever thinking about that girl at my uni orientation who, after being told to pour out her water bottle before entering an event, looked at me and said "they tell us to stay hydrated and then make us pour out our water, this is like totally kafkaesque" and then poured out what was very obviously an entire water bottle full of whiskey. hope she's doing well.