Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds
*youth pastor voice* you know who else got nailed while all his friends watched? that's right,
Show & Tell
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styofa doing anything
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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Misplaced Lens Cap

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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@secunit238776431
Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds
*youth pastor voice* you know who else got nailed while all his friends watched? that's right,
Rocky: Grace say Hail Mary archives have all Human media yet Rocky still cannot find classic film Goncharov for movie night statment.
Grace: ....What?
Rocky: Grace not know own earth greatest mafia movie ever made question?
Grace: .......
Grace: What?
oh i'm going to misusle and straight up fuckle this knowledge so badly
*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...
but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu
this has been a psa
i've had this as an idea since 2017 btw
damn, tumblr says my art is ass and trans people is eye strain so no blaze for me :\
it'd be a shame if this...
blazed the old fashion way...
“omg you’re just blogging for attention”
and you’re blogging??? for gold? Women? Immortality?
World Heritage Post
i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence
Have you guys seen that clip
Go off Kermit
we're just normal men
Why the heck is this dude trying to confirm if the frog puppet is hetrosexual???
assessing the situation before he shoots his shot
Happy Pride to Kermit the Frog, questioning king
I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with
But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy
Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy
This was posted on a ‘second hand finds’ Facebook page…
…only to be followed by this amazing message.
The roller coaster ride started.
With a happy ending…
…and a sweet poem to finish.
Realizing that I am not employing enough of my free will to become a nuisance at work
Me watching this:
I’m not letting this rot in the tags
How it feels to be the mutual who always has some fuckass annoying interest going on
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
I’m not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.
method actor this method actor that. toshiro mifune played a guy getting shot at by arrows by getting shot at by arrows
and yeah i believe it. ^ this is the face of a guy getting shot at by arrows
i can't cope
Source
Happy Pride Month!
i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic
rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich
regarding Murderbot’s beef with Jollybaby. my humble opinion:
What Murderbot believes is happening: It’s got a legitimate reason to think JB is so fucking annoying. Does it know JB has become its bitch eating crackers? Yes. But that bitch is eating crackers and it does make MB crazy.
What Jollybaby believes is happening: Murderbot replaced its governor module with a stick up its ass. What could JB possibly do other than tease it? It’s HELPING. Someday MB will get it and chill tf out.
What is happening: The station bots and the bot pilots have broken into factions. The station bots all think MB is a bit of an asshole, thanks for saving the president or whatever but you’re not better than us bc you have guns in your arms.
The bot pilots meanwhile can’t help but be fond of MB. It’s not an asshole to them. It sends them new media and always says please. Ok so it’s sort of a dick, you would be too if you’d been manufactured in the CR.
This all manifests in heated debates about JBs behavior and MBs behavior where the station bots all find JB hilarious but the bot pilots don’t like MB being teased when it doesn’t even know.
But the ONE TIME a CR ship came through and its botpilot had something to say about the SecUnit every single bot within range fell in line. As far as Jollybaby is concerned that’s MY Dickbag SecUnit I am making my crazy on purpose. As far as YOURE concerned it’s a perfect construct who has never done anything bad in its life.
Anyway JollyMurder for real
k but imagine Rocky wanting to learn about how humans became the apex predators of their planet so he has Grace “hunt” him in the biodome as an experiment and during it he thinks Grace isn’t trying or taking it seriously which is bad bad bad because this is for research purposes
only for Rocky to get more and more tired as the experiment goes on just to realize that Grace isn’t which makes him panic so he puts as much distance as he can between them and finds a (hopefully) safe spot to sleep and when he wakes up the human is crouching over him like “got youuu” and Rocky has never shrieked so damn loud before in his life