Selene

25/USA "Some days I am more wolf than woman and I am still learning how to stop apologizing for my wild." discord @ Selene#9292

[selene1998]

About Me

ok idk how to start this so lets just jump right in. Hi there im Selene! Im from Dayton Ohio recently relocated to West Virginia. Imma 25 y/o tattoo artist & my heart belongs to the girl I thought lost almost 3 years ago. imma recovering catholic who still believes in God & jesus ofc but im from an abusive family that used religion, verbal abuse, manipulation(silent treatment, exclusion) & even public humiliation 2 break me down & control me. Took years but ive escaped & im able 2 see it and speak up. Lots of my posts r gonna feature some possible triggers 4 those sufferin this as well. my hope is u all to know u r not alone. others have faced this struggle and gotten through u can 2. When I 1st escaped I was completely alone, intentionally isolated as yet another attempt 2 break me down by those I thought were family & stayed that way years. road was rough but I want u reading this 2 know u deserve ur happiness u deserve ur freedom u deserve acceptance as u r & U dont have to be alone. my messages are open reach out and ill support u. it is ok to ask for help, it is ok to not be ok sometimes but ur strong u got this warrior ppl like us r forged in fire ;)

[selene1998]

#narcissist #abusiveparenting #abusiveparent #psychology #mentalhealth #ptsd #trauma

[selene1998]

#manipulation #manipulationtactic #relationshiptiktok #passiveagressive #abusiverelationship #abusiveparenting #narcissist #narcissistic #narcissisticrelationship #awarenessvideo #awarenessmatters

[leonardospoetry]

beginning.

[ineffectualdemon]

[rottingtrouble-child]

The feeling in your stomach when your parents would call your name in a tone that you knew you were in trouble and you’re clawing at every corner in your brain trying to figure out what they could be mad at you for, and the feeling is so horrible and torturous that you wanna kill yourself on the spot

And now every time someone says they need to talk to you but don’t say why and what for immediately after, you’re taken right back to those moments of stomachaches and fear where you’re unable to function or think of anything else.

[selene1998]

And in the middle of my chaos there was you

-Unknown

[selene1998]

The Sinking

-Parental Abuse Trigger Warning-

its late at night when I get back & I see the lights still on. /the sinking/ I take the minute breathing in deep as the darkness outside creeps in; I prepare myself for the storm lurking inside not yet knowing what it holds. I grip my keys tightly as I force myself toward the door of the once warm home with pillars of brink now always looming in my mind as the place I felt most alone. I open the door finding mom & grammy there waiting as mom speaks. /deeper now/ I find my thoughts adrift as i think of my life its looming darkness & feelings of no escape. I trace my steps; every thought; what do they know? what have I done? Moms voice interrupts me sharp and cruel "why were u out so late" I answer truthfully knowing it holds no aide. /deeper/ she dismisses my answer as she reminds me again my actions reflect on her. "apologize to your mother want neighbors talking about her?" my grammys voice pierced my mind. I stood quietly as the moments passed like years "no" I finally spoke /deeper/. as the words left my mouth I felt an all familiar fear creep in. once the girl who feared failure on tests, now the woman who had feared being herself; fear had help me prisoner. As she stood to approach me I reminded myself again "this is it". I spoke calmly "i am leaving" no words more true yet unsure had ever spoken as I stood like a captain upon a raging sea. lightning in her eyes as my mom spoke "no daughter of hers would ever disgrace this family". I feel my eyes as I hold fight back the waves; This all familiar storm will not drown me now. /deeper still/ the darkness deep inside writhed as years of doubt, fear, and dread lingering in all corners of my veins. "were they right?" "was I wrong?" "could i ever live this life as myself and theirs?" I inhale the tension in the room again "you live under this roof you follow our rules" she continued her words like knives "I raised you, youd reply me like this?" she continued each word chipping away at the armor id fought once again to build up. "you are making a mistake, no woman will ever love you as we do" I again close my eyes as looming doubt takes over waves of fear bashing against my eyelids as I try to shut them out. "youll lose us and youll be alone" I stood my ground as I felt my grandmas hand on my shoulder as i force my eyes open. "this is your last chance to do the right thing" her words now flat "do the right thing?" the words rally in my mind like a broken track refusing to stop. now inches from both of them there is along pause in the air as a truth within me finally sinks in. The ache in my chest begging for freedom as the thought of giving up tears me apart. The storm now raging & the future unsure I speak the words that finally broke the chains. the chains that kept me trapped within four walls that kept me prisoner from those who loved me. the chains that tied me down to expectations of someone i could never be "I am now"..

[selene1998]

"take the risk, dont let the unknown stop your progression"

-unknown

[selene1998]

"She has a gypsy soul and a warrior spirit. She makes no apologies for her wild heart. She left normal and regular behind to explore the outskirts of magical and extraordinary. And she is glorious."

-I heard him talking about her.

[selene1998]

Fall in love with taking care of yourself. Fall in love with the path of deep healing. Fall in love with becoming the best version of yourself but with patience, with compassion and respect or your own journey.

- s. mcnuttt

[selene1998]

"The very things that hold you down are gonna lift you up, up, up."

-dumbo

[selene1998]

She's gonna forever say "i got this" even with tears in her eyes.

-unknown