Cake Vs. Fitness @sherlocked-tardis - Tumblr Blog

The year is 2018. Your bills are on autopay. You just got paid and you still have $1200 from the last check. When you want something, you buy it without moving money around. Your credit cards are paid off. You and your friends have 2 international trips planned and paid for this year. Your parents are in great health and you’re able to help if they need anything. You love your job. Your desired creative career is falling into place and you get to take your little cousins to Six Flags and Universal Studios over the Summer. Your relationships are healthy and supportive. All of the toxic energy from the past 6 years is gone. You going to concerts, eating good across the states and your crib has art and warmth throughout. 2018 is going to be so good to you.

intoxicatedindreams

reblogging this for that 2018 good luck

stushiroll-deactivated20200406

slick-nico

It is realistic! #stopbringingeverythingdown2018

sherlocked-tardis

Yes!

thyrell

if that sewer clown makes himself an image of your worst fear before he eats you, i could kick his ass. what’s he gonna do turn into the physical manifestation of being abandoned by your closest friends? gonna turn into an ooky spooky visual representation of catastrophic failure and loss? jokes on you dumbass the only thing im afraid of is myself

kirikatachibana

Time to kick my own ass. Bitch had it coming for too long

sherlocked-tardis

This is so accurate it hurts.

strangedreamings

Who’s listening to Christmas carols already and who’s waiting until it’s actually December?

sherlocked-tardis

Pleaaase! I've been listening since the day after Halloween!

wilwheaton

That's how parents always talk about their children, isn't it? "This is my darling son Wil, he's 584 months now, he's getting so big and independent! Look how adorable his cheeks are."

I tell people that my sons are 315 and 340 months old, because I am easily amused.

sherlocked-tardis

After 24 I forgot how to count.

i-am-the-phantom-blog

Reblog this if you're older than Google.

grrrbarrowman

It scares me that there’s only 1000 reblogs.

skygenders

11-11-1992

Oh shit *raises hand quickly*

whitefeather79

I’m older than google.

haybales22

I AM A MONTH AND A BIT YOUNGER THAN GOOGLE OH FRICK

somewhereapart

Sigh. Youngins.

daddys-little-princess-3-deacti

I remember Google being talked about on the news

trappedinmymind32

21 bitches

catbountry

I remember using Google when it was new. Fuck with me.

tessa1972

Tessa1972….1972!!!

quizzikemen

Sweet Andraste.

smuttine

I need a fucking rope

addigni

If only my existence never happened

Or I’m a useful human

Sadly it’s neither

And everything and everyone around me has to suffer the consequence of my utter uselessness and disappointing existence

Honestly, this isn’t even depression or mental illness. It’s not enough to be called that. I know depression, I had major depression last year. This isn’t that. This is just me proving the very fact that my existence is useless

sherlocked-tardis

It is until its not. At the risk of being super cheesy that's a decision you get to make.

Also, I see you on my dash everyday. So you're a real person that I like to hear from daily. That matters to me.

gojiro

Fun Vampire Fact; the reason that Vampires traditionally cannot see their reflections in a mirror is because mirrors used to be backed with a reflective layer of silver — which, as the metal of purity, would not ‘interact’ with Vampires, who are the Devil’s work.

However, modern mirrors have used aluminum as their reflective backing for many years now — and aluminum is not a ‘picky’ metal at all. So Vampires are able to see their reflections in modern mirrors.

roseate-rein

All I can think about is a vampire used to not seeing their reflection in mirrors for centuries, and one day they are just walking along and unknowingly pass a mirror backed with aluminum and THEY NEARLY SHIT THEMSELVES.

skysinger-musings

ectoimp

And film was exposed using silver in the emulsion fluid for old photographs. But with more advanced photographic technology and things like digital cameras theres no need to use silver in the printing process.

I can imagine old vampires being super into selfies because they never got to keep pictures of themselves before.

sherlocked-tardis

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

meantfortheshore

moremetalthanyourmom

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

youcangofindatree-deactivated20

Gotta try it

clevermanka

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

emmagrant01

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

mercurialkitty

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

songbirde108

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

onethingconstant

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

naeonnoir

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

retroasgardian-deactivated20180

spiduhgirl

It’s called the Murder Strut.

elegantmess100

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

b3gayd0crim3

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

daybreak96

This post went from Scientific to Feminist to Educational to HILARIOUS!

radiotopia

#make men get the fuck out of the way 2k17

sylverkeller

Yo i once had a woman cross the street bc I was murder strutting so hard.

hobbitsdoitbetter

I often do this. I just pretend to be Old Man Logan. Works as well, even if I’m hobbit-sized.

sherlocked-tardis

I feel like this happens with men and women. I have a theory that usually works though- along the lines of murder- if you act like you're so focused you don't see them they avoid you. If you do, you know, the polite thing and acknowledge them they'd run into you like arseholes. So I just pretend I'm very busy and important and it usually works.

wardencommanderrodimiss

thepookah

When asked this question, my response has always been “Christina Aguilera.”

*high-fives self*

sherlocked-tardis

I like men but I never liked boy bands. I just turned 30. Boy bands sucked IMO. But funny enough my husband likes BSB...

thesweetfandomlife

Reblog if you understand the difference between being obsessed with fictional relationships and being obsessed with real ones. One is called “shipping” and the other is called harassing celebrities

sexydiva122868-deactivated20190

‘Nuff said.

sherlocked-tardis

Amen

sifuhotmaam

Repost if Benedict Cumberbatch will always be your sexiest man alive.

sobeautifullyobsessed

Reblog, with credit given to @benedictc for the above gif.

sherlocked-tardis

Duhhhhh

myfrogcroaked

Here is the best animal face you will see today!

This is a Saiga antelope (Saiga tatarica), a species listed in CITES Appendix II and evaluated as critically endangered by the IUCN Red List. It lives in Asia (Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Russia, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan).

Source: CITES

blue-240d-deactivated20200202

what

sherlocked-tardis

It's like a goat ood

harryswitchteats-deactivated201

a tumblr Youth™: you got to get off the internet when you turn 21 bc i don’t like it

me:

sherlocked-tardis

👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼 my life's motto is "don't tell me what to do "

emmy-award

I went to the movies with my sister and grandma today (we saw Thor: Ragnarok)… There were a bunch of people in the theater who I could tell came from a group home or a day program, and when they would get excited or there was a funny line a couple of them would stim, vocalize, or echo what they just heard. Having been around kids with autism, sensory processing disorder, Downs Syndrome, etc. all throughout elementary, junior high, and high school, I saw no problem with it. I know that’s just how they express themselves and communicate.

About halfway through the movie my grandma turned to me and said, pretty loudly, “Who do you suppose that idiot is?” I honestly didn’t know how to respond, I was fucking mortified. I don’t know why I’m surprised when she says such ignorant and ableist things; it’s probably because I find it insulting. She has no awareness of how rude and disgusting she can be, and watching me grow up has done nothing to make her more understanding of people with disabilities. I guarantee she thinks people who live in group homes and go to day programs should still be locked away from the rest of the world in fucking institutions. It’s getting to the point where I’m actually seriously embarrassed by her.

emmy-award

Also: remember when she told me that she thinks my parents should consider putting me in a group home, because she thinks I’ll never be able to care for myself or live alone?

sherlocked-tardis

I'm sorry you had this experience. My husband used to work with adults with disabilities and he loved it and made some great long term friends. He says the hardest part is teaching "normal" people because they just don't get it. I know someone like your grandma and it IS embarrassing but I've learned to shut it down immediately. Addressing it right there is a good way (IMO) to stop the behavior and disassociate yourself immediately. Again I'm sorry that happened and I hope that no one heard her and if you do get the chance to address it that she hears you even if it's after the 100th time.

miz-joelys-sherlollilists

Hi! Sooooo there is a fic where Molly wants to have a baby and Sherlock decides he's logically the one who should be the donor but wants to do it "naturally " and then they get involved. It's multichapter and definitely Rated M. Any chance you could help me find it? Please?

It is most likely this (first in a series):

Sustain by MaybeAmanda (Rated M, Complete, Multi-Chapter) ff.net 2011

I wrote something on those lines if it’s a more recent fic you’re looking for:

All My Sins Remembered by mizjoely (Rated M, Complete, Multi-Chapter) AO3 2015

Any other suggestions, folks?

sherlocked-tardis

Thanks soooooooo much! It was driving me bonkers! It was Sustain. I've been looking for dayyyyys. You're the best!

Also- side note- your tumblr got me hooked on fanfics a couple years ago and for that I'll be forever grateful.