ye olde florida man

haunted meat suit

[lesbianshepard]

99% of all murders committed by women in ancient greek plays are completely justified

[lesbianshepard]

[ikariyuiofficial]

[ottermatopoeia]

Clytemnestra: crack? Is it crack you smoke?

[sic-s3mper-tyrannis]

[geminiagentgreen]

[dragonprincessmew]

[teathattast]

[thestuffedalligator]

There are multiple posts saying that Legolas is the Texan amongst the Fellowship of the Ring and you’re all wrong it’s Gandalf. It’s 1000% Gandalf. Gandalf followed a wild horse for two days to tame it and would regularly ride up to the Shire with a cart full of homemade fireworks. Gandalf's the Texan.

[texas-gothic-deactivated2025061]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[funkywhitebouy]

[moderndaymystic]

The purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you

[fallingtowers]

i fucking haaate being a castle guard dude the king's coat of arms is fucking stupid and all the female courtiers laugh at my tabard. can somebody come usurp this guy already

[fallingtowers]

oh AWESOME someone sent the king this post and now i'm getting drawn & quartered for treasonous speech 🙄 real cool and mature sending my employer a vent post i made on my PERSONAL BLOG. thanks a million.

[fallingtowers]

LOLLLLLLL he got dethroned by his nephewwwww!!! execution avoided!!! someone will come along and free me from this oubliette soon i bet

[black-quadrant]

me on my day off: I've got a whole list of tasks and I'm gonna-

adhd: hey! over here 🪤

[cannibalchicken]

[infanteriesauvage]

[prokopetz]

One of my favourite bits of media history trivia is that back in the Elizabethan period, people used to publish unauthorised copies of plays by sending someone who was good with shorthand to discretely write down all of the play's dialogue while they watched it, then reconstructing the play by combining those notes with audience interviews to recover the stage directions; in some cases, these unauthorised copies are the only record of a given play that survives to the present day. It's one of my favourites for two reasons:

It demonstrates that piracy has always lay at the heart of media preservation; and

Imagine being the 1603 equivalent of the guy with the cell phone camera in the movie theatre, furtively scribbling down notes in a little book and hoping Shakespeare himself doesn't catch you.

[ratfuck]

I put a smell on you

[markingatlightspeed]

cats when they headbutt you

[zackisontumblr]

and now you’re mine

[tikkety-tok]

This is what Rasputin would've wanted.

[teaboot]

I feel like I'm being seduced like one of those fancy rainforest birds

[fruitpilled]

is it working

[teaboot]

Yes

[magnuspool]

[deathbutwithfuzzyanimals]

I can’t tell if this is gender envy or vibe envy but I envy this man

[mangoxangel]

@extervus

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

can’t wait for the final boss battle of duolingo when you fight the 50 foot owl armed with nothing but your wits, a sword, and your shaky grasp of verb conjugations

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

oh my god… duel lingo

[worldsentwined]

Die Eule habe hat Hunger

True to form, I actually messed up the verb conjugation when I first put the words on this. XD

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

holy crap

[turnipoddity]

If only pre historic fish did not grow feet and crawled to the land

[hombredeflorida]

“This is YOUR fault!”

[scope-dogg]

[turnipoddity]

If only pre historic fish did not grow feet and crawled to the land

[dorbu]

Computer, bong water, iced.

[dorbu]

[datamogging]

“Excellent choice, sir. However, might I suggest a more organic alternative? There was a 21st century Australian technique perfected using the Powerade “Powerbueg” bong with a strain of Bruce Banner which could allegedly turn you into a “hulked out cunt” in one toke. It pairs well with an “Abbo goon bag” as well. Shall I prepare you one?“