I Am Me, And This is Me, Thus Me Is This

My name is Kristine, and I enjoy life. I major in Audio Production fucking up the bitches and hoes who mess with me. One day I'd like to get my shit together. Right now I make nothing of my life. If you have an idea of what I should do with my life . . .

[riiisinghooope]

I know it would be narratively unsatisfying if it actually happened but I always think a reveal like this would be so funny

[vriskarune]

"there's no way toby can wrap all this up in just 2 chapters!"

toby, preparing to drop chapter 6 chapter 1:

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

deltarune fans in 2031 sitting through chapter 6 chapter 5 intermission 25 when they thought the whole thing would be done three years ago:

[complimentaryculler]

[prokopetz]

Werewolf porn, except it accurately reflects the fact that humans have absurdly large penises relative to overall body mass compared to most other large mammals, so even though the protagonist's werewolf form is like eight feet tall, their dick is actually smaller than when they're human.

[prokopetz]

Conversely, in wereduck porn

[mediumdata]

[nightlifemingus]

this is probably the only sex gif i will every reblog, because for some reason i feel like it’s more than just sex. i don’t know if it’s how they’re actually looking at one another or the way they can’t get close enough. he’s actually looking at her like a person and not just a sex object. 

but then again, it could be all in my head. i mean, this is how i would want it to be. but that’s just me.

[segamascott]

[candyredterezii]

starting a collection

[zapatism]

lol ur watching the world cup finals sorry im too busy HAVING SEX

(texting my dick guy) we gotta have sex rn i just blogged

(dick guy) im watching the world cup

[actualized-animal]

as much as i poke fun at “tumblr prose,” i will acknowledge that sometimes when you’re writing and you’re really in the groove, you’re really feeling yourself, you’re on your capital-a Author shit, and you write a line that makes you go, “oh yeah, this is the Good Shit. this is so Subtle and Says So Much. this is Characterization. this is Themes and Motifs. you could write a whole essay about this one line. the master of the craft strikes again!” and then a month or whatever later when you’re editing you read over it again with post-write clarity and you realize you wrote some real “people die when they’re killed” bullshit

[the-walrus-squad]

Can verify this is how writing a novel is too.

[goldensunset]

>‘this thing is too generic and tropey’

>look inside

>forefather of that genre

[firestorm09890]

[frankbelloriley]

[garaks-padded-cell]

I have an absolutely massive russian guy as my driving instructor rn

Whenever i get into his car i have to spend an embarrassing 3 minutes adjusting everything back into clown car proportions so i can fit. Anyways a couple lessons ago he had me do the same route over and over to practice and there was a dead seagull in the middle of the road at one point and to keep correct positioning on the road i was required to drive over its carcass like 19 times just goring this seagull until the 20th lap when my instructor looked at the seagull that now more resembled tomato soup than a bird and said "this time. you spare seagull" and so i did and then he said "incorrect positioning on road"

[garaks-padded-cell]

Artists rendition

[hateusandseeifwemind]

[pinene]

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

[tadeadshihamurder]

someone on reddit explained 😭

[no-one-offical]

‎

[desmolbean404]

That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.

[deadpowol]

[tahthetrickster]

[charl0ttan]

horses cant scratch themselves but humans cant go fast. we support this legandary partnership

[druggonaut]

Wrong! Humans irrelevant and obsolete now

[charl0ttan]

agnostic horse: we just dont know where scratch posts come from

[dorothylarouge]

Superman says no gacha

[jorolle]

superman canonically hates genshin impact

[doriangraysrockcollection]

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

[doriangraysrockcollection]

i am kissing you on the mouth right now

you are the only person who understands me. you and the person who tagged a series of unfortunate events

[bidonica]

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

[tvguts]

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum