*inarticulate screaming*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH they/them

[teaboot]

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

[teaboot]

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

[teaboot]

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

[teaboot]

A little bit for Monica, she's my wife

A little bit for Erica, for her strife

My books all go to Rita, cause she reads

My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees

The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn

Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn

Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan

A little bit of me inside a can (ah!)

[pollsforadults]

Spin the wheel. Now, imagine you're on a first date with someone who says they`re a [result]. How does this affect the odds of a second date?

100% guarantee I'll want a second date

It's significantly more likely

The odds don't change

It's significantly less likely

There wont be a second date. Absolutely not

Voting ended onJun 13

Picker Wheel - Spin the Wheel to Decide a Random Choice

Picker Wheel is a wheel spinner for a random picker. Various functions & customization. Enter choices or names, spin the wheel to decide a r

(anon submission)

[possumcollege]

First three results:

paramilitary member - Nope.

weird pervert - I've gone on second dates with... a number of people because we were both compatible types of weird pervert

cop - Nope

[subaru-copilot]

it gets to a point that is just weirder if they didn't fuck

[subaru-copilot]

you did all this and it was not even because you wanted to bang him? weirdo

[xpastelsweetsx]

Acquiring “who tf is this guy? Who is he?” As my new vocal stim

[footlongdingledong]

i dont care if mondays rife,tuesday qednesday full of strife, thursday fuck my baka life, its friday im in sucks

[vviridescence]

happy thursday fuck my baka life, thank you for this post op i had this stuck in my head for days so i embroidered it

i might attach it to a magnet to go on my fridge lol

[felinefractious]

PL*Forest Eyes l’Bond

🐱 Norwegian Forest Cat

📸 Dorota Biskupska [Forest Eyes*PL]

🎨 Amber Ticked Tabby with White [Amber Coloration]

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexy Women Contest 2026 Round 1

GLaDOS (Portal)

Pomni (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Voting ended onMar 8

[pangur-and-grim]

I’m teaching him how to operate light switches

[pangur-and-grim]

we're still working on this. as with the toilet flushing, the problem is that he does not exert enough force

[queerasaurolophus]

why is it able to instantly liquify a bay leaf but struggles with garlic 😭

[queerasaurolophus]

it’s fine—I turned it off and started trying to fish out the bay leaf bits with a fork

[queerasaurolophus]

okay actually though. How bad is it really to have bay leaf in there?? looking it up

[queerasaurolophus]

Okay so it’s Not Ideal but I’m just gonna blend it more and Deal With It

[queerasaurolophus]

fuck.

[queerasaurolophus]

[queerasaurolophus]

I’m giving the swiffer a 4/10 rating for its ability to clean ceilings btw

[queerasaurolophus]

DO NOT

[allsonargent]

Moira Rose + vocabulary

[barbreypilled]

when I tell u I had to scroll a week back in my twitter likes to find this video bc I genuinely couldn’t sleep until I did

[slushyseals]

He's saying what we're all thinking!

[wuggen]

Heard a car horn today that was tuned to a fifth. Fucked up, kinda delightful

[wuggen]

I want people to understand how jarring this was. Most car horns are either a single tone or two tones somewhere in the neighborhood of a minor third apart:

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Pretty normal rush hour sounds, yeah? But this thing sounded something like this:

Visit Original Link

Fucked up! Didn't even realize it was a car horn at first, I didn't know what the fuck it was! It was weird as hell!

[helpeverythingiscats]

all rise for our liege's royal decree!:

GET DA FUCK OUT DA WAY

[birds-and-friends]

Full Video: Riekko mukana hiihtoreissulla, Tolkuton Willow ptarmigan included in ski trip

[comixextra]

For the love of god, PLEASE UNMUTE!!!

[bombcollar]

ptarmigan: [in a deep, croaking voice] awow awow awow awow awow awow awow. awow. awow. awow… awow… bup bup bup bup bup bup. pow. pow. pow.

[ladyfarona]

Why drink Red Bull when you can drink 7bup

[aberrantkenosis]

Visit Original Link

in case you ever wanted to know what mambo number 5 sounds like with all the instruments (including the drums) replaced with bike horns 

[abiak-deactivated20130929]

it sounds like the song is going to kill you and it’s perfect

[insinuationviolation-deactivate]

[wtfdidyoulanadelsay-deactivated]

i smiled through the whole thing because i just don’t understand what would compell someone to do this but thanks

[p1zza5eva]

i cannojt bretahe

[galaxy-lilies]

I…I cannot describe the emotion I’m feeling right now.

[ace-of-the-cards]

i cant. breath hhhhhhhhhh

[red-mercer]

Clown Orgy

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

I’m so upset that tumblr refuses to let me add a poll to this reblog. Give me your yes/no answers in writing instead? 😂 (mambo no 5 is poll #372 for reference)

[handsomejacksboner]

Day 3557

Handsome Jack still gives me a boner

[whatcha-thinkin]

If you could add one luxury room from a mansion to your own home, which would you choose?

the indoor heated pool

the greenhouse

the entire room devoted to a single cat / dog

the fully-supplied art studio

the two-story library with rolling ladder

the room-size aquarium

home theater

the formal ballroom

the oversize garage

the game room

I heard of a place with [tag] once, gimme gimme

all of these would make me a worse person

Voting ended onJan 15

[sioltach]

watching a video on brewing Mesopotamian beer and look at this orange man (his ass cannot guard the barley)

[loth-catgirl]

[alex51324]

slander! Did any potentates steal the barley on his watch????

They did not.