Eyyyooo @slutsandladders - Tumblr Blog

apatheticlexicographer

meanplastic

jakemorph

witchgiggles

mens-rights-activia

Like jokes aside this is so scary and sad, I really hope he’s still okay

cowboisupreme-blog

Don’t worry, he’s ok! He posted this on Instagram a few days ago:

And he posted this recently as well

So, yeah, it’s really shitty that he went through that, but at least he’s healthy and safe.

b00bconnoisseur

I DIDNT SEE THE LAST PICTURE LAST TIME

salamander-xander

The only version of this ill reblog because I AM THANKFUL HE IS SAFE!

cherryaire

is no one going to talk about the fact that his username is it’s bobbybiiiiitch what a legend

zagreus

if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te

*eeoo

doctress

Okay th*n. *f you’r* sure about th*s.

Old Macd*nald had a farm.

*eieio

zagreus

i’m going to shatter you like glass

globalhypnosis-deactivated20181

sharkpunks

Pointing to what I want on my five dollar footlong

gordon-pint

Fun story I had a customer come in at my college subway location at about 2am on a saturday, it was a 20 something year old student high as balls (naturally). This kid wasn’t just high, he was off his ass, he was higher than snoop on April 20th, his eyes were clamshells. I asked him what he wanted and I could see the gears turning in his head but he absolutely couldn’t get anything out. This guy was too high to talk, and I’m surprised he even made it down the street to our store. Obviously I’ve been here before so no problem, I tell the dude I’ve got this and to just point at what he wants, and he commences to just go down the line pointing at the bread and meats and veggies like this damn reaper, leading me on the biggest game of hot and cold I’ve ever played. In the end his sandwich racked up like 15 dollars in extra charges but I think we gave it to him for free. There is no moral to this story.

lainsim-deactivated20251111

I think you were visited by a wizard

badjokesbyjeff

not-all-there98

I completely missed the joke about him being the Rock, I just thought Medusa wouldn’t be able to turn him to stone because he’s too pure and good

gayerluke

security question: what was the last name of your first grade teacher?

my first grade teacher hacking my bank account: i’m in

wolfvalkyrie-blog

why is this so fucking funny

gayerluke

it’s a joke

lost-space-cadet

When I click on a video and it tries to send me to another app:

writing-prompt-s

You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.

captain-acab

You decide it’s best to find out what you can about this person. Cautiously, you approach his desk. He’s a handsome man, tall, but with a disarming smile. How could such a friendly guy with such cute, dorky glasses be dangerous?

You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”

He shakes your hand warmly. His gaze is piercing, as if he’s looking right through you. “The name’s Clark,” he says. “So, how long have you worked for the Daily Planet?”

misscrazyfangirl321

This one wins.

janothar

It’s been a few weeks, and one of Clark’s friends shows up. She’s pretty and all, enough muscle that she must work out. First thought would be that she should be maybe a 6.

Clark’s introducing her around. “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”

You blink, and take a step back in fear. You’ve never seen an 11 before.

aniseandspearmint

The day Bruce Wayne shows up for his long promised interview with Lois Lane, you can’t help it, the mug your holding drops from your fingers and sends a shock of hot coffee and ceramic shards across the floor.

Clark stops a few feet away and squints at you worriedly from behind those ridiculous glasses you’re 99% sure he doesn’t actually need, and asks tentatively, “Everything all right?”

You ignore him in favor of staring at the inky dark numerals hovering over the beaming fool gesticulating some fantastic yacht story for a gaggle of secretaries and minor columnists.

That’s it. Your gift has officially gone haywire. There is no other explanation. Because there is absolutely no way that Brucie Wayne is a 10.

petitstar

At this point, you’ve seen it all. Miled manner reporters and billionaires at a 10 and a model-like woman at 11. You were really starting to doubt your power. The day you really stopped believeing in it was when Bruce Wayne came for another visit, and this time with a kid. The kid couldn’t be more than 10 years old, a bit on the short side.

He was an 8.

lainathewitch

The day you started believing in it again was when you saw on tv the formation of something called the justice league.

There were those same numbers over superman, batman, wonder woman and robin. That’s when you put two and two together. You wonder how nobody at the daily planet noticed that Clarke was Superman with glasses. You wonder why you didn’t notice. You wonder why nobody put two and two together that Diana Prince and Wonder Woman looked exactly the same. You look in the mirror as the realization hit you and you see your own number change from a 3 to a 9.

ribbonsflyingoutthewindow

I don’t think I’ve ever actually reblogged this magnificent post and that’s shame.

sexhaver

highways in Massachusetts do this really cool thing where a lane will just abruptly disappear at inopportune times (right after highway entry ramps, in roundabouts, etc). half the time the sign warning you of this is placed basically where the lane ends anyways and the other half there just isnt a sign at all. there’s a part of my commute where the road goes from three lanes to one in 500 feet with no signs

sexhaver

this is what happens when you let horses from the 1800s do all of your city planning

somethinginthebasement

god, kelly square is a fucking nightmare i swear everytime i go through it everyone decides to purposely ram into your car

sexhaver

one time i was driving through kelley square and someone fucking reversed at me. it is truly a godless patch of asphalt

theotheristhedoctor

I love watching Americans get angry about roads with more than two options

colorguard5ever

I don’t think you understand the horror that is Kelly Square, but I’d love to see a worse intersection if you know one

sugary-bowl

I think the most solid advice I was given about Kelly Square is “you just go if you don’t go that’s when you die”.

chocolate-alchemy

Massachusetts doesn’t believe in visibility, adequate lane width, or any form of predictability in roads. Five way intersections with no lights or clear right of way with bonus one of the spokes is at some absurd angle and is hiding behind a hedge - yeah that’s pretty average and thanks I hate it. You just drive and hope it all works out for the best, teeth grit and eyes steely as they gaze into traffic hell. Also they have a problem and that problem is their love of circles one after the other with traffic lights in the middle. What the fuck my dudes.

fantasyrizzo

listen once you’ve been through it several dozen times you just gotta trust your gut instincts and take no shit from anyone else trying to muscle their way in

cultofthepigeon

when i was checking out colleges in boston another girl on the tour, a native bostonian, said “you dont use turn signals. thats like showing your enemy your next move” and to this DAY it haunts me

moved--306389

Huh

comic-canary

When I was living in Boston the joke in my neighborhood was that the streets were made by watching cattle roam and honeslty I feel like that’s not even a joke

titankillingl0ngtermb00tycall

^^^it isn’t a joke that’s really how a lot of the streets were made

glumshoe

My grandmother is a bitter old crab with nothing good to say about anything, but she does have a few good stories. She confronted the woman my grandfather had been cheating on her with - this other woman had no idea he was married, and was righteously angry.

The two of them schemed together. My grandfather’s mistress drove her convertible to the construction site where he was working. As he approached the car, she said, “Why didn’t you tell me you were married?”

“Married?! I’m not married!” he said.

My grandmother sat up in the back seat, where she’d been lying down, and said, “You won’t be for much longer.”

geographykhaleesi

HOLY SHIT

honestlynicolai

This is a Country song.

icebats

Women on twitter are sharing weird things theyve seen in bathrooms at guys houses and im fucking screaming why are men like this

crossroadsbishounen

I have this picture of sasuke on my phone that chase and I call “safe for work sasuke” and it’s because it’s the tallest picture in my camera roll so whenever he sends me any nsfw stuff when I’m in public I just send sfw sasuke and he takes up the whole screen

aph-lithuania

this is the only post we’re allowed to reblog from now on lads

postmarxed-deactivated20190429

Cool there’s been asbestos in Johnson & Johnson baby powder this whole time and they have been aware of it for decades and done nothing

postmarxed-deactivated20190429

@laeffy yeah you uh. Need to stop doing that immediately and maybe go to the doctor to make sure you don’t have mesothelioma

sweet-starshine

What the fuck we make memes about mesothelioma for so long and now we might have it Johnson and John what the Fuck

danielkanhai

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life.

jazzcochina-deactivated20180807

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

starlightandtears

Coconuts have only been in the Caribbean for 500 years. They just….floated on over from Asia and took root. That’s…hilarious.

borntomezmer-deactivated2021011

Wait really? I always thought they were if not native at least brought over on purpose

starlightandtears

Right??? I’m watching this nature doc and when the narrator said that I nearly spit my drink giggling. They’re remarkably buoyant and just bob their way to a new shore. So carefree. Truly a fruit destined to be in the Caribbean.