can i stress the importance of boundary setting? of being able to say no? if you want to be able to play with this shit, or really engage sexually at all, you need to be able to look someone in the eye and say “i don’t want this.”
if you can’t look me in the eye and say No, if you haven’t demonstrated an ability to voice discomfort when you feel it, you are not a safe partner and i do not want to play with you.
specifically what i’m thinking about here, though idk if clarification is needed, is that when you don’t tell me you’re uncomfortable you’re putting me in the position of harming you without giving me the option not to. if you never say “i don’t want this” then i don’t get to say “no problem, we don’t have to!” and you’ll grow to resent and hate me for crossing a boundary that was never communicated to me. actually, this applies to things other than sex too. if you never voice displeasure/discomfort, or direct desire, you’re making it impossible for people to respect you and give you what you want and keep you feeling safe.
good tags. but i want to respond directly to one thing here bc in a lot of ways it’s the crux of what im talking about. “do not let them find out later that you weren’t actually consenting.” the thing about this is that, if you verbally consent, even if you don’t mean it, you DID consent. your partner cannot read your mind. they cannot anticipate that you weren’t actually feeling it. you don’t then get to turn around and go “oh this person assaulted me because i didn’t actually consent” when you said yes and responded positively to every check in. that person did nothing wrong, you failed to communicate. when someone needs to set a boundary and doesn’t, they’re causing the harm in that situation. their failure to communicate is what is putting them in an unsafe situation.
I think this AI witch hunt happening in many fandoms right now ties into the idea that seeing something made by AI and liking it is a sin - excuse me - a bad, problematic thing. If you enjoy a fic and don't realize it was AI until after, you sin did a bad thing. If you mindlessly scroll and like a piece of art never realizing it was AI, you're sinning being problematic. If you know a piece of art is AI and a tiny part of you likes it, you're no better than the people who are stealing art to train the models. So, to combat this feeling - no matter how irrational or rational it might be - I think people grow hyper-vigilant of the ever-present threat of AI making them think sinful problematic thoughts.
But. In 2025, you cannot tell if something is AI or not. AI is meant to mimic us. It is trained to be liked by you. You are not a bad person for (momentarily) liking or being intrigued by something made by AI. It will not contaminate you. It will not make you a bad person. It just gave you that rush of satisfaction, because the brain does not care where its happiness comes from. And there definitely aren't perfect people who always think everything made by AI is ugly even when they don't know it's AI.
You are going to be fooled by AI and you probably already have been in the past. You will also find many beautiful, real artworks and stories of real people who can be discouraged from creating if they are falsely accused of using AI. Real people can be bullied into quitting and accusing someone of fabricating a passion-project is a pretty big accusation considering humans are passion project creatures and we are on the passion project website. And if you're fooled by AI... you'll live. You did not contribute to society's collapse, you were fooled by someone who wanted to fool you. Calling that problematic on your end is just going to make people afraid and nervous, and people who feel afraid and nervous can feel inclined to say a bunch of wild shit, like "hey this person is using AI. here's deeply flawed "proof" that mostly boils down to my dislikes and a thinly veiled moral panic, which is a natural thing to experience as a human person but still quite destructive" and then said person stops posting the cool art they made. Which I really wanted to see. So.
ok adhd child with autism sit down and listen because the heat is probably driving you nuts
Puberty is wreaking havoc on your brain. Things will get better BUT only if you do not give up on yourself.
You can train your brain to regulate better AND you will always struggle with regulation are seperate but true statements. The key is once again to not give up on yourself.
You have the right to be weird and annoying, as do others AND there is some use in learning how to connect to others in a way they understand are seperate but true statements. This is a matter of balance.
Ask people how they experience themselves, sickness, temperatures, others, music, food, etc. Ask people what they feel when they do things. This helps to understand them and you.
When the instructor says "give yourself a round of applause" you are the target audience. Your brain needs this.
Sometimes the goal is to make someone understand they don't understand, not to make them understand.
Ok now heat related
Don't completely avoid the heat. That will make the sensitivity worse. Try to expose yourself to a few minutes of heat at a time. You could also try a sauna if you have access. Focus on calming down the thoughts in your head and proving to yourself you didn’t die. Obviously don't do this if you have some deathly sun allergy or a new tattoo or POTS, etc. oh no i just looked up the symptoms for POTS. Oh shit. Oh no.
If you spent the entire day in the sun yesterday, stay inside tomorrow, so as not to fuck up your sleep schedule because of the light.
People do not like you less during summer, that's just summer. It seems to incentivise individualist short term thinking for some people.
Ask people to list what they feel in the heat to compare. List what you feel.
I would not want this for the luxury or the walking distance (well actually yes I do) but the people watching…. And I can stand up and yell PICKPOCKET!!!!!!!
i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.
PARENT: I got "rubber duck" for my child's "bath" and she loves it.
AUTISM RESPONSE: Rubber ducks and other rubber bath toys can accumulate mold on the inside because of small holes underneath where moisture becomes trapped. The mold often goes unnoticed because it's not visible from the outside.
CORRECT RESPONSE(?): That's nice, I am unaware of how mold could impact this situation.
too many people think fascism is just evil for evil's sake when its actually comfort and justification for your biases, so when they get seduced by it they deny being fascist because they dont see themselves as evil.
I don't know; I kind of think that our culture is based around systematic denial of human limitations. I mean, there's the eight-hour work day (which is about 4 hours longer than most people are consistently able to remain productive); buffing your qualifications on job applications (which everyone needs to do to some extent, because everyone else is doing it); the expectation of multitasking, even though it's not really possible; academics are running around with impostor syndrome, ultimately because there's only so many books that an individual is capable of reading, while a bunch of liars and grifters pretend that they're experts at *everything* and are held up as thought leaders. Billionaires are held up as if they're just incredibly hard workers, photoshopped movie stars held up as if they're just incredibly beautiful. We feel guilty for not being something that never has and can never exist.
For some fucking reason I always get the stealth version of every sickness, disorder or neurodivergence. Basically any thing that might recuire diagnosis, attention or medication. Stealth autism, stealth adhd, stealth seasonal allergies, stealth hypermobility. I even get stealth colds.
the principal aim of lying is to accomplish your goal in as few lies as possible, and with the least amount of effort necessary to keep those lies going. It follows naturally that the world’s greatest liar speaks only the truth.
I built a modern house for every Baldurs Gate companion and I promised an in depth house tour for everyone. Shadowheart and Karlach are up first!
I don't think they'd enjoy a big house, but they would like a big garden. Shadowheart likes animals and Karlach strikes me as someone who needs space to Do Things, so that's what they got. They have chickens, butterflies, a hedgehog and a cat (Mishka). And Karlach deserves a fat truck.
This is the front door to their shed. Karlach and Shadowheart aren't the neatest people, but they are practical so they'd prefer to keep gardening essentials outside. They don't give a rat's ass about storing their chic couple's bikes inside. I don't think anyone is stupid enough to steal from these two.
Shadowheart and her chickens. Probably a gift from Halsin. The coop is named The Elfsong Tavern and the chickens are named after Shadowhearts favourite tieflings (after Karlach).
The flower garden area, with a tray for fruity drinks. I think Karlach is a fruity-drink enjoyer out of spite. She's not ever going back to whatever piss she had to drink to get a buzz before and Shadowheart genuinely likes a fruity drink.
Front door area. They probably got the number sign on vacation somewhere. Out of all companions, they probably work the least and use their garden the most, so I wanted every nook and cranny to look like they use it for something.
The kitchen is inspired by that 1 second shot in the cartoon. I didn't want to match Karlach and Shadowhearts aesthetics in the game to the house, because their colour schemes and textures are so connected to Avernus and Shar. If they were free to do what they want to do, they'd probably go for something that doesn't remind them of the places they used to dwell.
Karlach definitely likes her protein shakes. I think after Avernus she'd try to reinvent her relationship to her body, fitness and food, trying to find more fun and intentionality in it.
Matching aprons because why not. Some dishes next to the sink. Shadowheart is a woman who likes multiple beverages at the same time.
I didn't want the dinner table to be the focal point of their living space. They just don't strike me as dinner table people. I think that table is often stacked with boxes, tools and other stuff and only cleaned when people come over for games.
The living room is their pride and joy. I think they both spend a lot of time here, so there's an unfinished magazine, boardgames shoved under the table and a stack of manga's. I think, for Shadowheart and Karlach, finding rest and peace together is how they enjoy their freedom. Being able to freely choose this and create such a space for each other feels ecstatic to them, but they can also drown themselves in distractions and ignore their trauma's.
Shadowheart definitely ordered custom controllers for both of them.
Souvenirs, the wine bottle from the night Shadowheart proposed to Karlach and a picture Karlach thinks is hot.
Cookbooks, crystals, tarot cards, more souvenirs and picture from when Lae'zel, Karlach and Shadowheart went out.
All Shadowheart's houseplants. I don't think those curtains ever close, they are the naked neighbours and they don't care. That box has probably been there for months but Karlach thinks it's too cute when Mishka uses it, so now it's part of the interior. Of course, Shadowheart raises butterflies.
Their entryway. And a boxing bag that Karlach put up "temporarily".
Picture of Mishka.
The bedroom. Again, nothing like they're used to. It's calm, serene and safe. Probably a little messy. I think Karlach really insisted on a real adult couple's bedroom.
The other side of the bedroom with wedding pictures! Well, a wedding photoshoot really, I hate doing sim weddings and wedding pictures on the same day. Shadowheart definitely proposed first and rather quickly. She slipped when she was drunk, but decided to make it an official proposal the next day. I think they stayed engaged for a long time, kind of pushing it off and getting caught up with life, maybe even growing a little too comfortable with what they had, until Karlach decided to propose again.
They both like shoes. It's a mutual obsession.
Calm, quiet life aside, Shadowheart and Karlach are definitely pent up freaks.
Bathroom. Not much to say. It's probably cold in here.
The hobby room! Karlach and Shadowheart are definitely a couple with a dedicated hobby room. This is where Karlach prepares some of her DND campaigns (she switches with Gale sometimes). They both use the computer, but not for gaming. Shadowheart is an avid note-taker and she likes to use a fresh aesthetic notebook for every new campaign. I don't think eithe like to be alone much so Shadowheart is often sitting on the ground while Karlach works.
Picture from vacation and a DND figurine.
Karlach's desk snacks.
I think they liked their pottery dates so much they got their own wheel. Shadowheart really wants to sell them at art fairs.
Boring end to the tour, but their hallway upstairs! With a stinky litterbox. I think Shadowheart does all the laundry and she does it with love. She does miss the routine of prayer sometimes, so I think doing laundry is her way of reflecting and thinking. It's one of the few times she'd rather be left alone.
A wedding picture to end the tour. Hope you liked it! I had a lot of fun making their house and thinking about all the details. Next up is either Gale or Astarion, but I need to finish taking pictures for their frames first.
The absolute delight of doing a crossword puzzle in my mother tongue with an english youtube video on. two languages at the same time keeps it all busy up there
