SmolSalty

Stacy // She/Her // Artist // Fr/Eng // Plays Amour Sucré, Moonlight Lovers, Obey Me!, Genshin Impact // COMMISSIONS OPEN

[nadhie]

my dad just exploded into laughter out of nowhere and told me ‘imagine the lion king but with sea lions’ he has been chuckling about it for 5 straight minutes now

[nadhie]

apparently it doesn’t matter that i’ve told him 10 times it’s the monkey who raises the newborn and not the lion himself, this is the scene he has been imagining

“he can’t raise his kid over his head”

[wakingfromthewater]

I want it

[crockpotcauldron]

okay but have you considered

[imaginarylock]

quality content

[thorinobsessed]

Extreme quality

[janetbrown711]

@squorkal can it be my job to find you seal posts? Because I want that job

[squorkal]

[his-subtle-hummingbird-deactiva]

As a common witness of Sea Lions I can assure you that they would very much play out these scenes; they are extremely dramatic creatures

[loldodgers-deactivated20180416]

What if Mike was short for Micycle

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

every now and then theres a text post that gets stuck in my damn head. here it is. im never going to be free of micycle

[sarahsnitch-deactivated20200608]

What if bike was short for bichael

[yourreddancer]

The European Union already forced Apple to abandon its proprietary charging port and adopt USB-C across its entire iPhone lineup. It just did something bigger. A new EU mandate requires every smartphone sold in Europe including Apple devices to feature a battery that can be replaced by the user without specialist tools, without voiding a warranty, and without sending the device to a manufacturer approved service center. Batteries must maintain a minimum capacity threshold after a set number of charge cycles and replacement parts must remain available for up to ten years after a model goes on sale.

The consumer electronics industry built its current business model around batteries that degrade, cannot be replaced at home, and create a natural upgrade cycle every two to three years. The EU just legislated that model out of existence in the world's largest regulatory market.

Apple, Samsung, and every other manufacturer now faces a choice between redesigning their devices for the European market or accepting that their current hardware architecture is no longer legally sellable there.

Given that no company walks away from European consumers voluntarily the phones are going to change and once they change for Europe the rest of the world will ask why theirs still do not.

[dreamsrunfaster]

[mellointheory]

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

[the-haiku-bot]

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[mellointheory]

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

[the-haiku-bot]

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[solkorolevaa]

[thenewborndeity]

This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

[sabertoothwalrus]

[sabertoothwalrus]

[marinella-ela]

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

There's something so deeply calming about watching megafauna prance and gambol about like they're little lambs

[blatantescapism]

Bison pronking is already so magical, and then the double rainbow and the happy birdsong just put it way over the top

[valtsv]

in fucking Tears thinking about how disgusting a baby griffin would look

[valtsv]

behold. my ugly son.

[felix-the-creature]

Species accurate version

[grubbzygo0p]

wretched little creature

[beemovieerotica]

at the vet because apparently tylenol decided to eat a joint

she's going to be ok she's just high as fuck

[beemovieerotica]

[divorce-enjoyer]

why go to the grocery store or to a restaurant when you can just get food delivered why go to the mall when you can get same day shipping on amazon why go to the library when you have kindle why make art when there’s ai why go to the cinema when you can stay at home and watch netflix. we are in a loneliness epidemic btw

[divorce-enjoyer]

the loneliness epidemic was invented by BIG SHIT to sell you more SHIT

[decompositie]

[uncomfortablyanonymous]

[ID: A screenshot of black text on a white screen. It reads:

Kurt Vonnegut tells his wife he's going out to buy an envelope:

"Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And I'll ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is - we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And it's like we're not supposed to dance at all anymore.

End ID.]

[the-haiku-bot]

Kurt Vonnegut tells

his wife he’s going out to

buy an envelope:

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[roselalonde]

you are like an empty tip jar

[niklas-sagara]

Ready to be filled!

[roselalonde]

BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE ANY CENTS!!!

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[hitmewithcute]

Am I the good boy? Really??

[lloonlloon]

I mean this in the most sincere, heart-filled-with-love way, this dog looks like a worm on a string

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[chibikittens]

That’s the most “meow” meow I’ve ever heard

[takineko]

SHE’S SO MAD THAT WATER IS WET

[summer-skye-64]

@is-the-cat-video-cute this is probably fine, I’m just curious

[flourishingskeleton]

Rating: Cute

this kitten is vocalizing its annoyance, and it is indeed vocalizing it AT the water, as if the water is going to take a hint and stop being wet and gross on its paw.

[milky-milky-way]

you WET miette? you wet her paw like the fish???? oh! oh! jail for water! jail for water for One Thousand Years!!!!

[trouble-clef]

She smacks the water at the end as if to punish it and then is still taken aback when the water has the audacity to wet her paw again

[luxshine]

THIS.

HOW DARE Water still be wet AFTER being told to stop?

[leehallfae]

@/girlglimmer (x) // @/christmas-winter (x) // fireflies - suzanne siegel // “orange and blue” - sarah jarosz // beautiful night - momcilo simic // christmas eve - julia andreevna petrova // @/hunting-brother (x) // @/bluecapsicum (x) // suzanne siegel

[rhubarbspring]

(source)

[dancing-crow]

thank you yes, I did need this today

[enki2]

[c-53]

pom pom crabs are some of the most unethical animals in the ocean

this man is a serial abuser

[c-53]

His pom poms are two sessile invertebrates he holds in his hands and starves so he can punch stuff with anemones who are so desperate to eat that they’ll use maximum sting on anything that gets close to him. When they starve to death he just finds more

[jantotrash]

ACTUALLY, IT IS WORSE

The crabs will force the anemones to clone themselves if one dies OR steal others’ anemones if both die

They haven’t found these anemones in their free-living form, so, as far as we know, this anemone species is these crabs’ slave species—it’s only known in association with pom pom crabs

Cool paper on this: Schnytzer, Y., Giman, Y., Karplus, I., & Achituv, Y. (2017). Boxer crabs induce asexual reproduction of their associated sea anemones by splitting and intraspecific theft. PeerJ, 5, e2954. https://doi.org/10.7717/peerj.2954

Boxer crabs induce asexual reproduction of their associated sea anemones by splitting and intraspecific theft

Crabs of the genus Lybia have the remarkable habit of holding a sea anemone in each of their claws. This partnership appears to be obligate,

[gimjarack]

So if I understand this right, "slave species" is a biology term only used for this ONE SPECIFIC CREATURE OF ALL THE COUNTLESS LIVING ORGANISMS ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET?!

[c-53]

Oh, the slave species thing is outdated information from the original study in the 90’s. To be fair, that study is still very very respected, it was just wrong about this specific thing.

Their anemones aren’t a unique species, they are only visually distinct because the crab farms them in a very specific way - making a fragment of a larger hawaiian anemone, or finding a newly spawned one. When they carry it around, they force the anemone to adapt to an entire new lifestyle. The crab’s nocturnal behavior slowly kills the anemone’s photosynthetic symbionts, from which it gets its color. After that, the crab can control how much food the anemone actually gets by using it to mop up food off the sea floor, and take excess out of its mouth. Since it doesnt have to reach for sunlight, or reach to catch food, this encourages dense, but short tentacles.

The shortcoming of this study was just that its very hard to get the anemone away from the crab without killing both, and its equally hard to get an anemone to bounce back from this state.

Due to their introduction into home aquaria, we now know any anemone they take will end up in this state, (bubble tips, aipistasia, haitian anemones, the list goes on) and we also know they are not bound to carrying anemone’s specifically. They’ve been seen collecting zoanthids, palythoa, and euphyllia (though euphyllians usually don’t survive).

[patientno7]

my humor 2016

[patientno7]

happy 3 year anniversary of wheeze man

[rubinaito-inactive]

Finally, the original has crossed my dash.

[lavena]

@strangezeroz welcome to tumblr where the app decides when you can be gifted with the sight of og memes, you cannot look for these yourself via the search engine, you won’t find them, you have to wait to be gifted them

[miss-nerd-alert]

For those of you who might be new here, Tumblr has no algorithm, legendary memes are brought to your dash by mutuals like pet cats bringing you dead birds.