For the Snark WAS a Boojum, You See

I'm snarklyboojum at ao3, too. Here you'll find stuff I think is interesting...or whatever fandoms have taken over my brain recently, you know how it is.

[eilooxara]

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.

[aquaflv]

when you go to a doctors office their favorite thing to do is tell you "okay check out at the front desk" when you're done. and the front desk tells you ummm you can just go! and you're like don't I have a copay? and they're like we don't know, we have to ask your insurance company first. and you're like well my insurance card says the copay is $30, can I just pay it right now while I'm standing in front of you? there's a card reader right there on the desk. and they're like nooo we have to send a representative on horseback during the next waning moon to meet with their claims adjusting associate director of benefits management and client services in the secret glade to negotiate. and you're like oh okay and go home. and you get twelve emails asking you to take a survey about your experience

[aquaflv]

AND THEN in eight months you start getting phone calls from unknown numbers and when you finally check your voicemail they're like Your Balance Is Past Due We're Going To Kill You (even though by this point you have forgotten that you ever went to the doctor). and so you go to your MyChart account and log in with your username and password and you have to reset your password for security reasons. and you get two emails that say Your Password Has Been Reset. Was This You? and you have to go find your phone and enter your two factor authentication code and then you have to select which location you visited and then you have to click through all the Reminder: Complete Your Health History Profile where they ask if you've had any new surgeries even though you definitely told the nurse about this at your visit and then you have to find the Pay Bills tab and your balance is $179.23 and you're like why is it so expensive I thought the copay was $30? and you download a PDF of the charges and find out that they charged a late fee of $15 a month even though that doesn't add up to $179.23 and you don't even remember being told you had any balance at any point and you could call a representative and ask about it but that would probably take at least half an hour and there's no way it would actually get rid of the charges. so you go pay it anyway and you have to go find a paper check to look up your bank account routing number because they'll charge you an extra 3% if you pay with a credit card and there's a fee of $2.75 for convenience also. and then you get three emails that say We've Received Your Payment! Thank You For Your Payment!

[headovaheelsinlove]

SO YOU GO PAY IT ANYWAY??!!!

[wynnyfryd]

so you go pay it anyway 😌

[cowardgrace]

rocky thought he was going to die he thought erid was doomed he thought he would never see grace again he thought grace was probably stranded by taumoeba too he thought their mission failed he was injured and burned and alone and HOPELESS and then GRACE BANGED ON HIS SHIP AND YELLED FOR HIM

[cowardgrace]

i have to go to the hospital

[manyblinkinglights]

#(so high pitched he's making dogs go nuts from 12 light years away) YOU SAVE ME AND YOU SAVE ERID#I LOVE YOU. I CAN'T CONNECT THE SHIPS IF YOU'RE OUT OF THE FUCKING AIRLOCK. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. GET YOUR ASS BACK INSIDE

[trek-tracks]

When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense...

call that the Ship of Thesaurus

[trek-tracks]

Any educator who doesn't feel this on a visceral level has never had to experience the psychic pain of reading the phrase "Unused York City."

[trek-tracks]

This is the fifth anniversary of me receiving the paper that contained "Unused York City." With ChatGPT slop invading my classes like original thought-choking kudzu, I now look back on the copy-paste + Spinbot days with a surprising amount of rosy nostalgia.

I was once in the office and another professor called me over. She was teaching a course on global citizenship.

"I can't figure out what this student is writing about," she said. "She keeps using the phrase 'perspiration stores.' Perspiration stores this, perspiration stores that."

I glanced at the paper and read a paragraph.

"Friend," I said. "She's writing about sweatshops."

[headspace-hotel]

i just spent like 20 minutes scrolling through the notes for examples and I'm screeching with laughter

[madeleineengland]

They are even better 🌒

[evergreen-femme]

had to share this

[wizardshark]

In every way this is set up to be a joke like any other short video, it even uses the trope of main character in a wig to represent their mom, but it isn't funny at all. It's just sweet and nice

[tokkibean]

i do not “delete sentences” when they start “hindering the plot” i COPY PASTE THEM into a SEPARATE DOC made just for keeping all my USELESS LINES that i will also NEVER USE so therefore i should JUST DELETE THEM but i DONT because id FEEL BAD if i did

[harpyharpyharpy]

You don't actually have to kill your darlings. You can just put them in the oubliette #myoubliette

[life-on-our-planet]

eepy mourning dove cupping its wings under its belly for cushion ©Ella

[morganbritton132]

Jonathan Byers and the slow horrifying realization that his muse is Steve Harrington.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[my-random-fandoms]

[thetrekkiehasthephonebox]

Verified: Microsoft 365 gets massive 45% price hike — and it's all to do with AI tools (Tom's Guide - January 17, 2025)

[mothwizard]

oopsie i tripped and spilled my link to archive dot org's downloadable copy of Microsoft office suite for 2007, which features no AI tools and is a powerful word processor that still holds up just fine on windows 10!

[does-this-character-eat-pussy]

Xena the Warrior Princess

Does Xena the Warrior Princess from Xena: Warrior Princess eat pussy?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 1 day 23 hours

[saucebossing]

yeah

[life-on-our-planet]

eepy mourning dove cupping its wings under its belly for cushion ©Ella

[throwingmenthols-deactivated202]

“denied the catharsis of punishment” is an underappreciated but hugely effective narrative consequence imo 

[unabashedlyseveresandwich]

#it’s so tasty and it comes in so many flavors#does the character self-loathe and feel anguished by what others intended as an act of forgiveness and grace?#does the character know they need to change but sort of madly wish they could trade the unceasing exhausting improvement journey#for a flash bang of slate-clearing repentance so they don’t have to *think* about it anymore?#is is a creeping horror as the character realizes no one is going to punish them because everyone else still thinks what they did was okay?#does the character have to live the rest of their life just feeling ever so slightly untrusted by everyone with no way to stop it?#sorry for leaving pretentious tags on tumblr dot com it will happen again 

Peer-reviewed tags by @annabelle–cane

[teaboot]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[teaboot]

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

[edgar-allan-possum]

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

[elidyce]

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

[cipheramnesia]

Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.

Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.

[val-the-bun]

[sankta-wraith]

the original? on my dash?

[mercifulmother]

-Le Petit Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (because roses grow on Erid)

[cowardsexual]

rogy :]