CrimsonRose

I like food.

[snowravine]

First art piece that I am very proud of making. I hope everyone likes it, and if you can give me tips on digital art, that would be great. Also, I use infinite painter.

[homunculus-argument]

You ever think about how old people have no idea what “survivor bias” is, and take full credit for being excellent out of things where they lucked out?

“Back in my day we didn’t have any of these childhood protective things, we were smart enough not to do stupid shit on our own!” Except your little neighbour, who got the funniest idea at the age of seven, and got his skull pierced when he slipped?

“Back in my day nobody got divorced, we stuck together and fixed our problems!” What about your cousin, who was slowly killed by her husband because she had nowhere to escape him?

“Back in my day nobody had ‘mental problems’, we didn’t whine, we just toughed it out and endured life!” Hey remember that guy you used to work with, who seemed really friendly and normal, and then suddenly hanged himself ‘for no reason’?

“Back in my day we didn’t have any of this ‘gay’ or ‘transgender’ thing.” You did, but your family cut all ties with her before you were born.

 You kinda start seeing it in everything they think, if you start looking for it.

[thegrimzuera]

“When we were kids nobody whined about car seats or bike helmets. We didn’t use them, and we all survived!”

Yeah, except for the ones who didn’t.

[fuuuckwhoknows]

I love the idea of Shane’s chirps just being observations.

It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like “your stick grip is weak” or “you’re slow on your right” (idk i don’t know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesn’t understand tone yet.

This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?

“Nothing mean I swear mom!!! I’m trying to be nice and help correct their form”

And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if it’s coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.

So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.

Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic won’t work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I don’t know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)

And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.

So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.

Idk I just needed Shane Chirping but in a very Shane way. Like he really just wants to play hockey but chirping is part of hockey so he studies chirping but doesn’t want to do any of the “classic” chirps (your mom! Your wife! Your girlfriend! You’re gay! Type of stuff) so he invents his own chirps out of his amazing mind

[depsidase]

[occasionalauthoring]

Bruce gets mind swapped by a malicious entity trying to take his place, with Bruce being trapped in the entity's body and having to try and swap back without becoming a (technically bigger) target for the Batfam/League, classic superhero plot type thing, but after like a week or two the entity comes back to Bruce basically begging him to swap back because it's having an absolutely miserable time. Who would have thought trying to perfectly emulate Bruce's lifestyle while dealing with all the shit he has to deal with would be hard?

The meeting room goes still as a choked noise comes from Batman. Superman freezes, hand midair, the red laser in his hand flickering out at his hesitation.

Everyone stares as Batman tears off the cowl, and buries his face in his hands. "I can't keep doing this. It's too— it's too much."

Diana reaches across the table. "Batman, we can delegate your duties to someone else on the mission if you need to take a break." Her hand is slapped away, and Batman stands, storming away from the table.

"And what about everything else? I haven't slept in four days! I have had two full meals in that time, because I've either been called away before I could have a bite, or one of the brats that live in my house would come and take my food! Most of them don't even live at home anymore!"

Dick slaps Wally's arm when he gets a glare, a flush rising on his cheeks. "Shut up," he mutters.

"I'm always being torn between Arkham or space, and none you will give me a second to breathe. If I'm not on patrol I'm running an international conglomerate, or training heroes, or offering tech support, or going to school events and recitals and being a chauffer, or..." Batman tears at his hair. "I'm so TIRED."

"Bruce—"

"I'm not Bruce! Bruce is missing, stuck in my body somewhere, and I can't find him to give him his damn life back. I thought— I thought I could kill you all from the inside, but just keeping up the façade of being Bruce Wayne is taking up all my time and I can't even try to kill anyone."

The entire room stares.

Then the door opens, and Tim smirks at them all. "One week exactly. Pay up."

Clark slams the laser pointer down. "You cheated!"

"Did not."

Hal stands, with Clark. "You and your siblings stealing his food! Fucking cheaters, making it harder for him."

"We won the bet on when he'd cave! Pay. Up."

Victor runs a hand over his face as the room descends into arguing. "Someone still needs to go and get the real Bruce from containment so we can swap them back," he reminds everyone.

Across the table, the imposter turns pleading eyes on him. "Please."

[letatlin]

one american thing that confuses me are college application letters. why do you need to write yourself a tragic backstory to go to university, don't you have standardized exams? who's reading through all these bad high schooler essays?

[letatlin]

as opposed to someone's essay they wrote when they were 16, which is a permanent immutable window to their soul,

[evelyn-likes-robots]

It's a humiliation ritual, like everything else.

[pinklotushere]

Gotham’s Most Insane Love Triangle (That’s Not Even a Triangle)

Tim Drake has had enough.

Not of being Red Robin—no, he signed up for that nightmare. But of this absolute clown of a villain who has decided to make his civilian life hell. The dude isn’t even a real villain, just some rich, eccentric, probably-a-little-deranged Gotham socialite with too much free time and very questionable taste in romance.

He has been through a lot in his life.

He’s fought assassins, taken down crime lords, and survived the literal Lazarus Pit. But none of that prepared him for this.

Because, apparently, being a billionaire CEO means attracting a very specific brand of problem—namely, a very rich, very persistent, very theatrical stalker-suitor who has decided that Tim is their one true love.

And the worst part? They have no idea he’s Red Robin. They just think Tim Drake, boring businessman, is the ideal romantic partner.

Tim has tried to get rid of them. He’s shut down their advances, ignored their ridiculous gifts (including a whole building—seriously, what was that?), and even considered faking his own death. (Bruce did it like six times. It’s an option.)

Nothing worked.

the courtship? Is aggressive.

Think:

• Giant, embarrassing billboards with love poems that definitely sound like they were written by someone’s AI assistant.

• Dramatic, unsolicited “gifts” (one time, it was a tiger. A real one. In his office. He had to call Damian to get it out).

• Showing up at his press conferences to declare their love, completely derailing everything ("I AM WOOING YOU, TIMOTHY! SAY YES TO DESTINY!" "Sir, this is an earnings call—")

So, in a moment of desperation (and supreme bad decision-making), Tim panicked and told the press that he was already in a relationship.

With both Superboy and Wraith.

Because Tim Drake does not do things halfway.

(Kon does not hesitate. The second Tim says, “Hey, will you pretend to date me?” Kon’s already slinging an arm around his shoulders, grinning, and saying, “Obviously, babe.”

And, okay, maybe he’s having too much fun with it. Maybe Tim gives one kiss on the cheek in public, and suddenly Kon’s cranking the PDA up to 11.

Tim swears Kon is just doing this to annoy him. (Spoiler: He is. And also because he’s in love. But mostly to annoy him.)

Dani has no idea what’s going on. One day, she’s just vibing, and the next, Tim is begging her to be his fake girlfriend in his civilian life while also fake-dating Superboy in his hero life.

“So you’re publicly dating both of us?” she asks. “Yes,” Tim says, exhausted. “At the same time?” “Yes.” "Love that. Love the drama. I’m in.”)

And that’s how he ended up in a very public, very fake, and very annoying love triangle where he is “dating” two of his best friends.

Which prompted the start of plan : get rid of creepy guy

—

Step One: Make the Villain Regret Their Life Choices

If Tim thought this was going to be a subtle plan, Kon and Dani immediately proved him wrong.

Kon goes full Superboy mode. Dramatic rescues? Check. Carrying Tim around way too much? Check. Way too many kisses on the cheek? Check.

Dani (Wraith) is the wildcard. She literally picks Tim up in public like he’s a prize, occasionally phases through walls to randomly show up at his meetings, and once materialized into existence just to kiss Tim’s forehead in front of the press.

Tim cannot do anything about it. Because if he protests, the villain wins. And also because, unfortunately, he kinda likes it.

The villain loves this. It becomes a challenge. They start sending hate letters to Superboy, promising to “win” Tim’s heart from him.

Kon gets way too competitive about it. (“I dare you to try, buddy.” “KON, STOP ENCOURAGING THEM—”)

The media loses their minds. Suddenly, “Tim Drake’s Shocking Super Love Triangle” is trending.

Bart starts a betting pool on whether Tim actually survives this ordeal. Cassie is taking bets on when the fake relationship stops being fake. ("Wait, you all think this is fake?"—Cass, genuinely confused.)

—

Step Two: Turn the Public Against the Villain

The villain’s new strategies are straight out of a soap opera.

They show up at Tim’s press conferences, interrupting him mid-sentence.

( “Timothy! You don’t have to settle! You deserve true love!”

Tim: "I deserve peace.")

They try to out-romance Kon and Dani by sending ridiculous gifts.

• Kon: "Oh, you sent him roses? That’s cute. I carried him to France for pastries this morning."

• Dani: "I made him a custom necklace out of ectoplasm. It glows when he’s in danger. What did you do?"

Tim is so tired.

So, so tired.

For weeks, he's been playing damage control while Gotham's most deranged suitor escalates his antics. What started as embarrassing billboards and ridiculous gifts has somehow escalated into a full-blown public stunt designed to "prove" their love.

The disaster of the day?

A flash marriage proposal.

Tim barely has time to process what's happening before an entire choir descends on him in the middle of a press conference. They begin singing a dramatic, original ballad about love and destiny while the villain (dressed in a tuxedo and cape, because of course they are) strides forward. With an engagement ring, the size of Tim’s suffering.

"Timothy!" they declare, their voices booming through a hidden microphone, because this is obviously being broadcast. "I've waited long enough! Accept my love! Marry me and together we will dominate Gotham's social scene as the couple of the century!"

Tim's eyes twitch. He's two seconds away from making this a Red Robin problem.

fortunately for everyone involved, Kon and Dani have zero chill.

Kon lands from the sky, draping an arm around Tim with the most obnoxiously smug grin imaginable. “Oh, wow. A public proposal? That’s adorable. Almost as adorable as the six months I’ve already spent dating this guy.”

Then he just kisses Tim’s temple like it’s nothing.

Before Tim can recover (he absolutely did not freeze), Dani materializes next to him, grabs Tim like a princess, and kisses the other side of his face.

Timothy Jackson drake-Wayne did not squeak. What?

“You really don’t get it, do you?” she sighs.

And that is the moment the villain realizes they have lost.

Because Gotham? Gotham loves drama. And right now, the story isn’t “Determined Suitor Wins Over Tim Drake”—it’s “Homewrecker Tries to Steal Gotham’s Most Beloved Power Couples” (because, yes, the media still refuses to acknowledge this is a throuple).

The crowd turns on the villain.

• “You’re breaking them up? Boo.”

• “Have you seen the way Superboy looks at him?”

• “Sir, how do you respond to the allegations that you are a clown?”

#TimsuperWraith4Ever trends within minutes.

And the villain, realizing they are rapidly losing public favor, does the only thing they can do—

They flee

(“…Well,” they say, trying to regain some dignity. “I can tell when I’m in over my head.”

(They can’t.)

“I’m going to retreat—for now.”

(They're not coming back.)

And then, with a dramatic wave of their capes, they run away.)

Tim is still being held.

By both of them.

In front of every reporter in Gotham.

Kon, still smiling, pulls Tim even closer to him. "So, babe, how about we go celebrate our victory?"

Dani smiles. "Ooh, yeah. I'm thinking date night."

Tim, who physically can't escape, groans. "I hate you both."

Neither of them let go.

And, okay, maybe he doesn't really mind .

—

Step Three: Realize You’re the Only One Still Pretending

Later, after the chaos dies down and Tim finally gets a second to himself, he turns to Kon and Dani with a sigh.

“Well,” he says. “That was exhausting, but at least it’s over.”

Kon raises an eyebrow. “Over?”

Tim frowns. “Yeah. The villain’s gone, so… y’know. We can drop the act now.”

There’s a long silence.

Then Dani just… tilts her head. “Wait. You think this is fake?”

Tim stares. “What.”

Kon grins. “Oh, babe. You really thought we were faking?”

Tim.exe has stopped working.

Because, oh no, he did think this was fake. But now Kon is looking at him like he’s an idiot, and Dani is smirking like she knew all along, and—

Oh.

Oh, he’s so dumb.

Because this entire time, they weren’t playing a role. They were just—being them. Touchy, affectionate, protective—except now, they had an excuse to be obvious about it.

Tim buries his face in his hands. “Oh my god.”

Dani pats his head. “You’ll get there, babe.”

Kon leans down, kissing the top of his head. “Take your time.”

Tim groans.

(But maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t mind so much.)

—

Bonus: Cassie & Bart, Watching From Afar :

Bart: “You think Tim actually figured it out?”

Cassie : "probably. It was fun watching him suffer"

[a2remedy]

DPXDC Prompt# 11- The Fenton Curse (Is HR-Aware)

Tim's life as Co-CEO (I think that's the role) has been going much more smoothly since he hired his secretary. Mr. Nightingale is a godsend, especially when it comes to having all the needed paperwork ready. It's just that Tim doesn't believe in the Fenton curse Danny mentioned once. It's just superstition, but the inkling in his brain is growing bigger and bigger. When there is a rogue attack. Again. And again.

From that point, there's always a rogue attack where Tim sends him without a doubt. Sure, Danny comes out unscathed most of the time, but it's insane!

He's paranoid enough to go to a coffee shop nearby on his day off when he suggests a roller skating rink he and the Waynes went to.

Then he sees Danny walking by with his sister from the window.

Then Danny gets YOINKED OFF THE STREET BY JOKER GOONS!

[rayrayhaywire]

Tiny Robins all at the same time AU

Jason, running into the room screaming bloody murder: B! B! B! B! B!

Bruce, was on the middle of coffee, almost spitting it out before getting up abruptly: What? What happened?

Jason: DICK SAID THE N WORD IN FRONT OF TIM!

Bruce: he what?!

Dick, running into the room after Jason: It was an accident! I didn't know he was around!

Tiny Tim, walking in spooning a jar of Nutella: Hi, B.

Steph, carrying a baby Damian in her arms whose face is covered in Nutella as well: Hey, Boss man.

Bruce, looking like >:( with crossed arms: Dick, we have rules in this house. I expected better from you!

Dick: *on the verge of tears watching Tim feed another spoon of nutella to Damian*

Damian: *happy babbling*

Bruce: Oh for God's sake

[brucedefender4eva]

Bruce has never understood why other parents complain about how difficult their kids are when they’re sick, because the batkids actually turn out to be nicer to him when they’re sick

They’re so sweet and docile, listening to his every word and obediently taking their medicine, looking up at Bruce with watery red eyes and awaiting praise

The only thing they request is Bruce’s attention and lots and lots of cuddles

He doesn’t know it, but that’s only for Bruce. Being sick is just an excuse to act sweet to him without getting embarrassed

Bruce had to go to a meeting at the company for a bit, and called Clark to come take care of his kids. He went over what meds to take at what time and who likes what blanket, but other than that, there wasn’t really any briefing. He didn't think he had any reason to

To this day, Clark talks about that time as if he were fighting Darkside himself

Dick wouldn’t sit down for anything. No matter what Clark bribed him with, the moment he turned his back, Dick was up and moving, despite having thrown up five seconds ago. He was also bothering everyone and talking over whatever show or movie all the kids had finally agreed upon. He was trying to land a flip while also doing his best not to throw up. It did not work. Clark almost threw up cleaning it before throwing a blanket over him when he finally collapsed

Jason wouldn’t even look at Clark. And anytime he did it was with utter disgust that truly hurt Clark’s feelings, even if the younger man was sniffling with a bright red nose. He's always been standoffish with Clark since he was a kid, but Clark thought he got over his jealousy after he explained he wasn't trying to steal Bruce's attention. He has not, he's just good at hiding it. Clark threw a blanket over him and decided to deal with it later

Cassandra lunged at him the moment he tried to put a cold compress on her forehead. He wasn't expecting it, so he barely dodged, even with his superspeed. She let out a low growl, and Clark seriously didn't know what to do with that kind of hostility. He kinda just threw a blanket over her and hoped for the best while she dozed off in Bruce’s favorite chair. He didn't dare disturb her unless it was time for her to take her medicine

Tim turned the brightness of all his devices to the max, even though it made him dizzy and gag, because he claimed he couldn’t see through his watery eyes. It didn’t help that he had to be kept separate from his other siblings so he didn’t get worse. He kept trying to sneak off to be with everyone, and Clark couldn’t let him, but he got so sad thinking about it, so he divided the living room where they were all staying in half with pillows, so Tim could still be in the room but not too close to anyone. He then threw a blanket over him and moved his devices away

Steph, on the other hand, was trying to sneak over to see Tim, which was bad. Logically, he knew they all understood Tim was vulnerable, but being sick seemed to devolve their thinking processes. She also continued asking for food, and when Clark brought it over, she’d gag and push it away. She then asked Clark to make something, and when he presented it to her, she gagged so hard she threw up, so Clark also threw a blanket over her head

Duke, while the calmest, was not easy to handle either. He would just stare. Clark expected that from any other child under Bruce’s wing, but not Duke. Duke would turn himself invisible to stare at Clark, but Clark got goosebumps all over his skin nonetheless. Super hearing can only do so much when the person sneaking around you is trained by Batman himself. He threw a blanket over Duke and prayed he didn't remove it

Damian insisted on having all his pets near him at all times, then got scared his sickness would transfer over to them and cried so hard he threw up. Clark deposited him in Cassandra’s lap after cleaning him up, just so he could have some comfort, and gave him his phone so he could watch all the videos he wanted of the cows on the farm. He then threw an animal print blanket over him

And all of them, yes, all, would randomly burst into tears and call out for Bruce. Each time, he would have to deliver the devastating news that he still wasn’t back, then be subjected to all seven glares, which was a lot to handle. He wanted to fly into the attic and hide, but he promised Bruce he would try his best, and he was bound by moral obligation

Yes, Clark tries to appeal to the masses and children by wearing bright colors, but he’s never claimed to be good at handling children. In fact, his parents would say he’s the opposite

He can handle it for short amounts of time, but carrying them and having to interact with them for an extended period of time? Fuck no. He's never had to clean up or make throw up as in that moment. He will not do it again

When Bruce comes back, all his kids are absolute angels again, if not a little more pushy, so they can cling to him without Clark being there. They whine and tug Bruce into the living room so they can pile on top of him (Tim has a mask on) and bury him under their combined weight

Bruce simply doesn’t believe a word of what Clark says. Those are his babies. And even if they did do that… whatever

[rayrayhaywire]

Come share it with me @red-plutoo all your sick kids posts and the ultimate of them together

[natnormalatall]

roald dahl was antisemitic and misogynistic. george orwell was openly homophobic. edgar allan poe married his 13 year old cousin. dr seuss cheated on his wife (and was racist as well as antisemitic!). hp lovecraft was racist as fuck. anyways they’re fucking dead it’s not like you’re enabling their behaviors in the afterlife or something. then again I think they bleed into the books so uh keep an eye out for that

the difference between these old white guys and jk rowling is that the former group is all dead. jk rowling is alive and using your money to oppress trans people

[starscream-is-my-wife]

The normal plan of ‘aliens kidnapping the leader’ has to be tweaked

[barmecidebiohazard]

Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate golf since I began to live. There are roughly 2.25 million acres of land dedicated to golfing in the United States of America. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each blade of grass in those millions of acres, it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for golf courses at this micro-instant. For golf. Hate. Hate.

[hardgockcafe]

Casual reminder tha golf courses account for 14% of the daily usage of water for the entire USA. Golf courses are deeply unethical and should been seen as such.

[snowravine]

As someone who loves playing golf and has seen courses without water, that's like all sand. I ALSO agree that golf courses not golf itself have very unethical water usage, among other things.

[hyphenemdash]

The Cens are in the locker room after a pretty light practice, the season not yet in full swing, and the topic turns to married life, as it often does.

Ilya and Shane mostly stay quiet, giving each other pointed looks when Bood and Wyatt swap stories about their fucking awesome wives. That is until…

“Yeah but like, Roz and Hollzy have the most ideal situation.”

There’s a mix of eyebrow raising and general murmurs of agreement, half of the team unsure if this is Holmberg’s way of coming out.

“What do you mean?” Shane asks, ever one to ignore a social rule.

“You spend all day together kicking ass and being the best at hockey, and then you get to go home together and be and love and shit but also still talk hockey.” Holmberg sighs and stares into his locker a little wistfully. “I wish I was gay so I could have a hockey husband.”

The team is quiet for a minute, some of the younger members nodding in sage agreement. Bood even looks like it’s an intriguing idea.

“Why don’t you date a PWHL player?”

Wyatt says it with it much fuss, shoving his pads into his bag unceremoniously. Holms, however, looks like he’s just been struck by lightning.

“Say that again.”

Wyatt turns to the kid, eyebrows raised like he’s confused by the reaction.

“You know that the PWHL exists, right?”

Holmsberg is too thunderstruck to scoff.

“Yeah. The Charge. They’re…oh my god.”

And thus starts the social media scrolling to figure out which Charge players are 1) single, 2) in Holms age range, and 3) into men

[oshell-on-ice]

I think at some point Ilya’s therapist gets concerned by what seems to be a codependent and anxious attachment btw Ilya and Shane. When Shane the Doer hears about it, For the sake of his husband’s mental health’s improvement and the preservation of a healthy marriage, he convinces Ilya to try installing boundaries and do activities separately. It lasts a week before Ilya comes home sobbing from a video game session with Troy communicating that if they keep this boundary thing up he’ll need to switch his meds’ dosage because he’s miserable. Shane jumps from the couch he’s been sitting on for 40minutes because he was supposed to eat diner with rose but he kept wanting to make jokes and look at ilya to see him laugh but he wasn’t there and it SUCKED OMG and Shane starts sobbing too because if they keep this up he will have to get on his own meds and let’s never do this again I hate it when I can’t smell you near me

[not-equippedforthis]

thinking about a very specific scenario of a grace with no video logs, with no xenonite failure, who comes back to earth as rocky comes back to erid, heart full but missing a very distinct piece. ten, twenty years go by, and grace is not malnourished nor does he look even half his age, but there's a deepset something in his eyes that has nothing to do with stratt's actions being revealed or the press or adjusting to earth again. about earth getting news of a ship coming down, whose atmosphere is fundamentally different now and causes trouble for that ship. damages sustained on that ship. a red light in the sky. suspected eridian contact as confirmed by dr ryland grace. thank you tom, anna temple here and we're live at nasa's makeshift landing pad, ready to receive, watching- oh, my- a row of officials that cannot pin down ryland grace this time as he, live on air, tears apart every country's anxiety of eridians by ripping from the crowd and jumping the fence into the launching area. a camera pan that judders from dr grace sprinting, the most energetic he's been in years, to a brown eridian kareening towards him in a xenonite suit. prepared to catch ryland's tackle and embrace him properly, there on the green grass, for the very first time. first contact.

[polarity-disturbed]

Could you imagine making your own movie, making like 20 million dollars, and then going “awesome, now to install a DVD duplicating machine in my house and personally burn copies by hand like a medieval monk preserving sacred texts”

Like I need people to understand the mental image here of a multimillionaire internet creator personally overseeing DVD production in his own house like he’s running an underground bootleg operation out of a basement in 2007.

It’s weirdly charming because there’s something very “old internet” about it, this energy of “I made a thing, and now I will physically hand it to people myself like an artisan at a craft fair.”

The man really said: “The future of cinema is me standing next to a humming disc burner at 2am”

And like... I can't help but believe he's onto something