SomeRandomDude's Blog I Guess

idk why you're here but hi; he/they and Bi

[gedankenpunk-deactivated2023102]

[swordsman-jing-ke]

“My emperor is fine” your emperor has commissioned over 8000 life-sized terracotta soldiers and buried them facing east, in the direction of his recently conquered enemies in the hopes that they will protect him in the afterlife.

[qin-shi-huang-di]

DELETE THIS IMMEDIATELY

[qin-shi-huang-di]

IM NOT PARANOID YOU’RE PARANOID

[qin-shi-huang-di]

would a “paranoid despot with innocent blood on his hands”construct a bunch of secret underground passageways under his palace to avoid the prying eyes of the living and dead? if anything, it just proves how INTELLIGENT and RATIONAL i am because no one can be sure of where i am at any given time! being in a constant state of heightened vigilance is the best way to avoid the assassins who are 100% real and 100% out to get me!

[lookbotsfollowmeyay]

Qin Shi Huang's tomb filled with mercury was opened and he walked out with a 816333 day duolingo streak

[qin-shi-huang-di]

GUARDS GUARDS THERE IS A VILE GREEN BIRD THREATENING ME

[ruinedchildhood]

[songsofwaterandnight]

That's such a sick baby picture to have. The rest of us are all like "oh this is me tripping in the backyard when I was 2" and that baby's gonna have "yeah that's me in my mom's arms as she wins a mortal Kombat tournament". Iconic.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Girl help they're selectively breeding the world's most powerful Mortal Kombat player.

[writing-prompt-s]

"This is clever. See, we genetically modified a dog to be able to talk. And gave it to a group of quirky teens who are, get this, all interested in solving mysteries." "How is that clever?" "In the last 6 months, they've solved 2 cold cases, 5 homicides, and 21 attempted felony thefts."

[somerandomdude11]

God dammit who left Scooby Doo: CSI on?

[redstonedust]

its funny when people are like "life hack: to get yourself/your child to eat more vegetables try using dips and seasoning to mask the flavor" babes thats not a life hack thats just cooking. i dont know who told u the only way to eat vegetables is great grandmas war rations boiled sprouts recipe but i prommy you can and SHOULD be seasoning.

[bearypure]

In light of recent news 🥬💙💊

[c3rvida3]

*goes to egg your house but I find out you're vegan so I ¼ cup of unsweetened applesauce your house instead*

[ruinedhands]

Okay I hear you, but that's not going to work. As always, when you're thinking of vegan egg substitutes, it's important to think about the purpose of the egg in your recipe.

Eggs are used in this recipe because they smell gross and don't come off easily (due to their tendency to harden/cook in the sun). This is not a situation for applesauce, which will come off in a light rain.

While unconventional, the substitute you're looking for here is sourdough starter. It's goopy, it'll smell atrocious in the hot sun, and it'll harden onto the walls like cement. If you try to get it off with water, you'll end up with a sticky dough.

Just make sure to respectfully ask your target if they have a gluten allergy before doing this - wouldn't want to trade one evil for another.

[valentineish]

This has beautiful synergy with "let me get this bitch's pronouns before I curse them out" in the game of hate

[girlbossfranziskavonkarma]

just laughed hysterically at the gripping foods with force twitter account

[girlbossfranziskavonkarma]

_-#(#)@/($_+$()@)@)#)

[thesleepytimes]

It’s so good

[adamsmasher]

[plaid-dragon]

[depsidase]

[crittizen]

this is a poem

[wa-u-moved]

i couldn’t not draw this

[i-say-ok]

ok…!

[luxury-nightmare]

babe are you okay, your reblogging the subway rat poem again

[the-haiku-bot]

babe are you okay,

your reblogging the subway

rat poem again

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[cryptotheism]

Romanian Guy next to me in the Indian cafe, unprompted: "Haha you know I was supposed to date an Indian girl but the stars did not align for her."

Me: "ah that sucks man I'm sorry."

RG: "Yes. That is just how dating is these days."

Me, without thinking: "it's a bit easier if you're bisexual"

RG: (takes a moment to consider this) "I like women but that is a good point."

[dailycatsblog]

[kaiserouo]

did anyone actually think about how old that horse is

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ghost who haunts their last living descendant, REFUSING to rest until their dying wish is fulfilled (they want to be dug up and reburied in the trendy cemetery across town)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

logging into tumblr.com really is our daily dose of recess huh. i take a stroll down my dash and people are playing make-believe with cursed amulets, pondering their orbs, playing with jpegs like dolls. some of us are pretending to be wizards and villains and evil advisors and blob monsters (my preference). there's always a group playing Animals (wolf is very popular). the main topic of conversation is tv shows and cartoon characters, which we enjoy arguing about. recently there's been a juggling craze

[vampirefabio]

please.