Soviet-Wizard

[targetedknowledge]

[fallout-lou-begas]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[frustratedasatruar]

Its like how people who don't learn fire safety are brutally mauled and eaten alive by Smokey the Bear.

[maniakminis]

quit your job

join my band of mercenaries

[notactuallyherefor]

How's the dental?

[maniakminis]

you can have all the teeth you can carry

[my-dailydreams]

[lillie-garden]

the potion seller discourse is insane. cop walks into a chemist's lab and demands pure undiluted morphine. chemist says hey i don't make this for human consumption. cop insists repeatedly, crying, shitting himself. in no way is the potion seller in the wrong here.

[lillie-garden]

"the potion seller is an asshole who should have just given the knight the potion!"

you would not last 1 day in customer service

[redwaltz]

No, see, he's an asshole for not giving the cop the potion to kill himself with.

[lillie-garden]

See i would absolutely agree with this take but being directly responsible for killing the Knight would tarnish the Potion Seller's name across the kingdom. + the Knight is insisting he's going to die in battle anyways.

[lillie-garden]

clearly this is why your url is pretend-wizard 🙄 we don't know that the potion seller can't make potions that let knights handle stronger potions, all we know is that the potions that the potion seller does have are too strong. if he is effectively a pharmaceutical supplier, he probably would be supplying to other potion sellers lower down on the chain to sell distilled & diluted versions of his potions. but this, like everything, is simply an inference. with our limited facts at hand, i choose to side with the worker rather than the landed gentry.

[helpeverythingiscats]

I once made a potion that kills you but the undying one drank it and lived and it ruined my reptutation so now i'm forced to weave small coats for beetle grubs. i cant complain the beetles have good money but now whenever im spotted on the street the peasants mock me and call me beetleboy

[lillie-garden]

hi beetleboy LOL hows your beetles. loser

[helpeverythingiscats]

[soviet-wizard]

A potion that allows you to handle stronger potions is just water...

[meatswitch-deactivated20231107]

Wizards (1977)

[definitelynotindecisive]

[bogleech]

Oh are there people who don't know this mess of a movie has the all time most spectacular final wizard battle in the fantasy genre??

[soviet-wizard]

important context is that in true wizardly fashion he talked him into programming his robot army into ONLY accepting commands from him right before this confrontation. So it really is a classic wizard move in the larger context.

[the-curse-wizard]

No no no no NO!

Am I gonna need to move the fuckin tower again? Shit fuck

[this-kingdom-sucks]

Towers gone

[the-curse-wizard]

Can't have shit in this kingdom

[a-squirrel-wizard]

How should my apprentice choose just one

[soviet-wizard]

Deploy the unsalted peanuts!!!

[bigbitchwhackademia]

maybe i shouldn’t be in wizard work i fuck up again and again and just like. have to go home after. used the eternal liquid in a potion today. the liquid was not supposed to be eternal. our little gnome couldn’t siphon it off and almost died. i should go fireball myself.

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

Hey. Hey. Fucking up again and again does not mean you shouldn't be in wizard work. Are you learning? Are you having fun? Does your mastery of the arcane grow little by little with every passing day? Then keep at it. Worse wizards than you are doing a shittier job with way more confidence.

...or so I've heard, anyway.

[soviet-wizard]

@the-stew-goblin I nade a beef rib stew today in your honor

[the-stew-goblin]

Looks scrumptious!! Good work 10 gold star stews for you

[the-curse-wizard]

Eureka! I HAVE DONE IT!

[soviet-wizard]

*casts Chernobyl levels of protection spells upon myself* Pray tell comrade... what have you been up to?

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Wizard Building Codes

• Buildings must reach their Foundations

• Buildings must have an Interior Volume less than or equal to their Exterior Displacement

• Buildings cannot Exist before they are Built

• Buildings must be made of Orientable Surfaces

• Real Estate must be Real

[soviet-wizard]

@the-stew-goblin I made a beef rib stew today in your honor

[the-stew-goblin]

Sttewwwwwwwww thank youuu I love youuu steeewwwwww

[dragongirlsweetie]

boss makes a spider i make a slime. that's why i . thas why, tthats why i uhhh. t. thawhy

[dragongirlsweetie]

t.gats why i can't think up an end to the rhyme

[evilwizard]

GET BACK TO WORK

[itsjesscapade]

[teathattast]

[thestorieswesay]

god it's all so true

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

i do love soup

[soviet-wizard]

@stew-goblin

[newevilwizard]

boop boop wizard stuff putting random ingredients into the cauldron and mixing it uuuuuuup- OH GOD THE FIRE AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[soviet-wizard]

random stew... many such cases