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@spangledout
Tag yourself I'm "The War"
I’m “Bad Whiskey”
I am “seduction and disappointment”
“Sexual derangement”
*+:。.。 🐸☂️🌲 。.。:+*
Our apologies
This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life
This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨❤️👨.
The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while
2020 MOODBOARD
THIS IS WHAT I'M HERE FOR
alex delany getting cancelled and exposed for saying “faggots” making predatory misogynistic comments AND making a confederate flag cake that he posted on tumblr, a day after bon appetit’ resident brownface enthusiast, adam rapaport, “resigned” is just so much more enraging when u realize that all he does is drink alcohol and eat out and gets paid thousands per video.
And all this is happening while Sohla is doing all the heavy lifting for every segment, tempering chocolate for claire who is apparently a baking expert, getting tokenized in every video and making actual gourmet dishes as shes an expert in food and food sciences.
delany was a mens fashion blogger before his bon appetit gig while sohla has a decade and a half of professional kitchen experience–not to mention that she owned and operated a restaurant before coming to BA.
in video titles, both are referred to as ‘Professional Chefs’. Only one of them is and she’s also the one NOT getting financially compensated for it.
burn it to the ground.
A relevant thread
2020 so far be like
I really like how this post gets like 40 re-blogs for a differnt reason like every month and the worst part is we got like 6 months left fellas so I’m sure skme other stupid shit is gonna happen
New Zealand has 0 new cases of COVID and 0 active cases of COVID!
Former cop. Just telling the truth here - the good cops who went into the force to help? They don't last long. Joined at 21, wanted to make a good difference. Lived in a town less than 15k people. Mostly domestic disturbance calls, missing pets + kids, wellness checks, so I thought. Peaceful town means you're doing a good job? Nope. If you dont catch criminals you're lazy. Get reamed for being soft. Literally tell you to search out criminals not just find them.Teach you to react first bc (cont.)
(Cont) a split second could mean death. Then teach you how to profile but "we dont profile" wink nudge. So you show up see a man bent over a woman when someone calls, says they heard screaming. React. Guy is raping her. Nope. She was having a seizure. He was her helper. Friend of mine attacked him. Easy mistake when they teach you that. Friends quits bc of guilt. Me? Always got reamed bc I didnt give out enough fucking tickets. Fuck that. "Find curfew breakers. Find lapse insurance." (Cont)
(Cont) I would sit in parking lots running random license plates while all my coworkers ride on people's asses in the middle of the night to trick them into speeding. Its not about upholding the law and arresting criminal. You're a fucking snitch, trying to fin ANY lawbreaker bc you can't be lazy. Then you see some fucked up shit. Little girl goes missing. Find her in a creek, head cracked up on a rock. Animals picked at her for a few days. You get desensitized or you can't do the job. (Cont)
(Cont) so you get numb to screaming and dead bodies and girls crying about boyfriends raping them or you go nuts. Me I thought well this small town they donr have Real Problems so they make me chase down 15 year olds with a cigarette to hand over tobacco tickets. I won't do that so the other guys relentlessly bully me for being a pussy lazy PoS. I go to city with real problems. Same damn thing. "Search for criminals! If you dont find enough you're lazy!" We aren't sitting around til you (cont)
(Cont) til you break the law we are looking for it even if its dumb shit. And then you go someplace big and tell you to look for suspicious things. Blackddues in nice suits are pimps. Black dudes in nice cars are dealers. Black women are crazy and best their boyfriends. Latina lie about being raped to get revenge. That's just how it is. So you say hell no. They eat you alive. If you need therapy you're a pussy. Hostage situation, black dude with knife holding a woman. I talk him down. (Cont)
(Cont) Guy gets arrested. I get pulled into the office and yelled at for NOT shooting him. Saved his life and hers and I got in trouble. Had to file paperwork. Didnt make any friends because they ront trust me. Cops will do drugs on weekends then arrest people for doing the same so they get their "quota" (which wink nudge dont exist). If a cop does something bad and you do the right thing and "rat him out" they will harass you. Found myself relocated when I testified against another cop. (Cont)
(Cont) Go to a different place. Same fucking shit. Cops get paid shit, taught to react first based on assumption, taught to specifically assume racist shit, taught to go OUT of their way to FIND shit, get thrown into an atmosphere of bullying if you dont comply, then get desensitized to shit. If you're a good cop, You won't make it , bc you can't come out of that shit safe. I quit before I was forty. I'm fifty now and work in a mine. Fuck cops.
Ps - former cop - using my niece's tumblr bc she showed me this, which is why I'm using anonymous. Not trying to harass anybody.
Copying anon’s follow up messages above to have the whole story in one place.
Thank you for sharing your experience, anon, and for confirming it -- there are no good cops because good people who become cops either don’t stay cops or don’t stay good people. There’s no other option.
I didn't even think about this, super interesting read
Katie Leung (aka Cho Chang’s actress) said fuck the police and fuck JK Rowling
Skandar retweeting this made me snort.
giggle snort
I love how A very Potter Musical is the exact opposite of what jk rowling represents.
Dumbledore is gay, but she isn't going to actually give us the represantion? Fuck that, Dumbledore is the "Move, I'm gay" type. Also Remus and Sirius are dating and they travel together after A very potter sequel. Seamus and Dean got married.
Voldemort can't love? Mmm, no. Change that. Voldemort leaves his evil plans and his desire to kill Harry to live a happy life with Quirrel, because he loves his husband.
Slytherins are bad? The houses are against each other? Bullshit. In the end, the four houses support Harry and fight together against Voldemort.
Snape died as a hero and Harry names his son after him? In this universe Snape is portrayed as the "nice guy". And also we have Remus saying to him that he's sorry for everything that happen when they were kids, but Snape shouldn't treat his students like this. Also, Albus now is Albus Scarfy Potter, named after the Scarf of sexual preference, husband of the Sorting hat.
Draco doesn't have a redemption arc? What if, instead, Draco helps Harry, Ron and Hermione in the end and they team up together to save Hogwarts?
Jk Rowling doesn't let her books go and still tries to get more and more money from the franchise? A very potter senior year goes about how everything ends at some moment, and Harry has to deal with the fact that, someday, he's going to have a normal life, without dark lords to destroy.
Also, we have a poster of Zac Efron, Umbridge being ICONIC, and the whole saga being writting by Gilderoy Lockhart.
What I'm saying is go and stan A very potter musical. Jk doesn't get any benefit from these musicals. That musicals aren't perfect, they have mistakes, but are magic too.
Dad gets (pretend) vaccinated so daughter is less scared. (via tana_ann)
Omg I love this 🥰
wow this is adorable
These are the solutions we need to policing right now. Remember: the problem cannot be solved by technocratic solutions (i.e. body cams, further trainings, etc.) The problem is policing itself.