You were a god of textiles; respected, but generally considered a minor deity. But everything changed when mortals started regularly describing spacetime and reality as a 'fabric'.
One of Darry's least favorite things about Ponyboy is how he acts like he brutalizes him on the regular.
Like one time Darry was cooking bacon for breakfast and Ponyboy was standing near him, and Darry picked up the pan and Ponyboy violently flinches, and obviously Darry is like "wtf is wrong" and Ponyboy goes "Oh, sorry. I thought you were going to throw the hot grease in my face" and Darry's just like "Now why the fuck would I do that???"
Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn't read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There's been multiple "I'm DB Cooper" death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today's money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons
cw// fluff, overuse of pet names (baby, pretty girl, gorgeous, etc), slight smut and suggestive content, fembodied!reader, poor grammar, can’t think of anything else but lmk if i should add something!
younger!bf who tries to make you laugh like it’s his only purpose in life, like it’s an achievement every time it happens even though you give laughs out freely
younger!bf who started off with cheesy nicknames as a joke ‘light of my life’, ‘beautiful girl’, ‘my pretty baby’
younger!bf who now thrives off of cheesy pet names, who calls you baby every other sentence, who gets pouty when you call him by his name, “baby please what did i do, what’s wrong”
younger!bf who doesn’t get jealous but instead possessive, he knows you’re his but that doesn’t mean he should be okay with sharing
younger!bf who’s a little naive when it comes to planning dates so when the place is actually closed because it’s a public holiday when disaster strikes he gives you a sheepish look but tries his hardest to fix it
younger!bf who when he does get it right is very unsubtly preening for your affection and praises on how good a job he’s done
younger!bf when you’re busy working on a project your clingy!bf who can be pouty and whiny on the best of days just because you’re not giving him all the attention he wants, forget work he’ll fund your lifestyle if it means you quit your job and only have to focus on him for the rest of your life
younger!bf who says as much ‘as a joke’ but if you said you wanted to quit work and be a sahgf he would be all for it
younger!bf who loves hearing just how good he’s being and how perfect he is for you
younger!bf who’s equally submissive as he is dominant, who can take control or give it up freely, who decides how he wants to act based on what you’re feeling and what you need today
“tell me what you need today baby”
“we don’t have to do anything at all”
“we can just cuddle, or i can leave you alone if you need some space”
“you can take control, own me if that’s what you want”
“whatever you’d like, pretty girl”
younger!bf who goes down on you like it’s exam day and he’s been studying all week to make sure he nails it
younger!bf who begs for every touch, every taste, any little piece of yourself that you’ll allow him
“please, i’ve been waiting for you all day”
pretty eyes staring up at you, waiting patiently for you to allow him some of your time
younger!bf who moans and whimpers so prettily while you tease him. your nails running over his chest and nowhere else is torture but he’ll take anything he can get from you. utterly obsessed.
younger!bf who breathes you in, who embarrasses you by how deeply entranced he is by your cunt
muffled between your thighs “everything, you’re everything”
“i could die here”
“i can’t remember my life without you here, a goddess walking the earth” he says it with a joking tone but the adoration in his eyes is almost frighteningly intense.
it would be frightening if you didn’t feel the exact same way about him
younger!bf who’s an overachiever, who takes care of you, who wants to make sure you’re beyond satisfied, to say screw you to anyone who underestimated your relationship with him, to anyone who said he wasn’t mature enough or man enough for you
younger!bf who knows just how to twist his words to make sure he gets what he wants
“c’mon, one more for me baby please, i know you can do it” “just cum one more time for me”
“don’t you think i deserve another one gorgeous? you told me you’d always tell me when i was doing good, show me please”
its never just once more
younger!bf who talks you through it, who knows how to be commanding when that’s what you need from him, who knows how to let you shut your brain off and just follow instructions
*over the phone* “i know it was tough today, do you just want to stay on the line with me? i’ll be back tomorrow night” — “of course i’ll help you pretty girl, just lay back for me and listen to my voice yeah?”
younger!bf who above all prioritises your safety and how you’re feeling
“i know you’re tired baby, but you promised me one more”
“remind me of your safe words beautiful, c’mon you know what they are, tell me what they mean”
“okay so you know your safe words, traffic lights pretty girl, you can tap out whenever you like, don’t be afraid to use them, i won’t be mad i promise”
“give me a colour baby, can you give me another one?”
a shaky nod, a breathy exhale
“words for me beautiful”
‘green’ “ohh my perfect girl, you’re too good to me” a stroke of your hair, a kiss on your forehead, before he’s back between your legs, thighs clasped around his head, suffocating him, allowing himself to be suffocated, you trying to muffle your moans, biting down on your own hand before he snatches it from you, entwining it with his own and puppeting your other hand to grasp onto his hair
younger!bf who says everything outright because who has time to be coy
“harder baby”
“pull it like you mean it”
younger!bf who surprises himself every-time with just how loud he is when you finally do listen, tugging at his hair and inciting something deep within him. every-time.
younger!bf who will spend the early am’s running you a bath, shampooing your hair, and changing the sheets while you’re still hazy from the countless “just one more for me”s he managed to pull out of you
younger!bf who loses himself in you and welcomes it every-time
younger!bf who prides himself on being utterly and publicly devoted to you
Autumn is here, folks, and your local Iowan is here to remind you of the basic principles of Corn Maze Safety:
Make sure you go with a partner! You don’t want to be alone and lost in the maze!
Take a map! You may want to try navigate on your own, but it’s best to keep a guide handy in case you lose your way!
Bring a water bottle with a sealed top! It will keep you hydrated, and the closed top will stop any water from spilling on the thirsty corn. Remember, thirsty corn is docile corn!
Wear long sleeves! Although dead leaves aren’t quite as sharp as green leaves, they can still cut you. And they will, if you give them the chance.
If a stalk does draw blood, spill some water from your bottle on the ground near its roots and move on. Hopefully, the water will quench its thirst long enough for you to escape.
Be careful what you eat before you go into the maze! Avoid cornstarch, corn syrup, and all corn products. The corn can smell itself in your blood.
Remember, scarecrows are there for YOUR protection. As long as the corn thinks you’re with others, it won’t make any sudden moves.
If you see a scarecrow wave, wave back. It gets lonely, and you will too if you’re not kind.
If you are alone in a cornfield, pretend you’re talking to a friend! The plants have ears, but no eyes, and they are easily fooled. Get out before they catch wise!
The breeze is lying to you; don’t listen to it. It cannot lead you home.
If you’re lost, look to the sun for directions, not the shadows. The shadows like to watch you struggle.
Never, ever walk off the provided paths! The paths are safe routes carefully created by the farmer. If you leave the path, you may never see it again.
Keep an eye on the time while wandering! You don’t want to be in a cornfield after dark. You really don’t.
In a pinch, many people try praying to the Harvest God for assistance. This is often a poor choice; you’re just as likely to be harvested as you are to be helped.
If you see a single green corn stalk among the brown, turn around. You don’t want to know how it keeps itself warm in the cold.
Remember, Corn Mazes can be fun autumnal activities if you’re careful! Just follow these simple rules and you’ll almost certainly make it home.
Reminder that spring will always come back, music will never stop being created, and there are still so many books left to read! You’re alive! You’re alive! You’re alive!
