Probably fine

[adz]

reddit is having a glitch where it puts the wrong captions over photos and it’s the only thing i care about right now

[dietspam16]

[wormpton]

[ID, partially copied from "battymoonflower7": Screenshots of several mismatched Reddit post titles and images:

In r/foodbutforbabies: "Is this too much food to send to daycare?" with a picture of a leftover corner of a sandwich and a tiny KitKat.

In r/popculturechat: "Ariana spotted at Ethan Slater's gig" with a rough, unfinished pencil sketch of a face.

In r/tarantulas: "Someone worked up a big thirst making a burrow this weekend!" with a picture of a woman.

In r/MakeupAddiction: "where can I find eyeshadows that are like these colours?" with a picture of a brown stain on a grey carpet.

In r/ftm: "7 weeks post op" with a picture of a weevil (the bug).

In r/CleaningTips: "Woke up and found these. Any clue what they are? Middle of the living room. No pellets in sight." with a picture of several framed moths.

In r/Sephora: "Help me choose a blush!!" with a full-body gym selfie of a muscular bearded man.

In r/foodbutforbabies: "Dinner for my 2.5 year old" with a picture of a bunch of white mushrooms growing on a lawn.

A Tumblr tag that reads: "This is just how people post here". End ID]

[trochaic-mutant-ninja-tetrameter]

🎶Working up a big thirst! Post-op weevil!🎵

[etct-deactivated20240208]

imagine youre cinderella and youre running away from the ball and your. actually i cant tell which shoe would be funnier to lose 

[krismasdreemurr00]

[witheringsapphic-deactivated202]

please reblog this until i find my true love. i am so alone

[tables-but-with-a-very-long-name]

Made it poly friendly

[witheringsapphic-deactivated202]

oh hell yeah even better

[courtjester69420]

Made one for aromantic trans people 👍

[queen-mihai]

Reblogging for poly people, mono people, and people who need their keys

[inkanddragons]

I wouldn’t wanna leave a trans polycule/ monogamy/ key chain incomplete

[null-the-void-monarch-offical]

i lost my fucking keys

[raviolireptile]

Aging Gracefully

[mxjackparker]

If you're at work in a retail or hospitality environment and you see a sex worker with a client... no you didn't.

If your boss asks you if you think that person's a sex worker, you tell them you do not believe that. You don't report their presence to anyone. You don't joke about it with a coworker. You don't eavesdrop or bother them.

We're working the same as you are. Leave us alone!

[mxjackparker]

Some examples of situations where you might need to keep your mouth shut about a potential sex worker:

You see someone you don't recognize walk past reception at your hotel to head directly for the stairs or elevator or towards the rooms without acknowledging you at the reception desk. Yes, this includes when the person is wearing revealing clothing or a nice dress and heels. This is not your business.

You notice multiple men going to the same hotel room during the same evening, each only staying for an hour or so at a time. This is not your business.

You seat two customers for dinner and work as their waiter/waitress for the night. You see one give an envelope of cash to the other. Yes, this includes when there's a huge age gap between the two and they're being affectionate. This is not your business.

You overhear one customer ask another how much they charge for a night, whilst making drinks for them. You heard nothing. This is not your business.

I do not care what kind of retail or hospitality setting you work in. If you see a sex worker, no you didn't!

[ejacutastic]

honestly fucking fascinating that people will pretty universally understand that thin people can be naturally predisposed to thinness regardless of what they eat or their activity level, but that so many of the same people cannot possibly fathom that fat people could have similar dispositions or that there could be any factors more complex than a "lack of self control."

[cumaeansibyl]

"Oh, it doesn't matter what I eat, I just never gain weight!" = normal, legitimate

"Oh, it doesn't matter what I eat, I just never lose weight!" = lying glutton

[astriiformes]

To be quite honest with you all I do think that aro/ace-spectrum fans in fandoms where people are desperately inventing crossover ships and humanizing non-human characters in order to have a conventionally attractive guy to ship the main character with, instead of possibly having to enjoy a story with no romance in it, have the right to refer to everyone else as cowards.

[astriiformes]

Sorry you almost had to entertain the idea that people like me exist, I'm sure that was very painful for you.

[jojaxcola]

"you heard it too, right?"

[ jojamart mockumentary #26 ]

[ prev ]

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[pointless-achievements]

Rare Achievement Unlocked:

After The Clouds Clear

Sorry, I don't give out medals, this is the best I can do.

[tweetingukpolitics]

[ravioliraz]

[itspronouncedfeckyou]

yeah okay sure you're a cosmic being beyond human comprehension. im a comic being beyond human comprehension. and they love me

[itspronouncedfeckyou]

they love me

[itspronouncedfeckyou]

youu cantm dk this to me.,

[itspronouncedfeckyou]

IM BEING CURUSED.

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[baddywronglegs]

I've asked this question before and been surprised by the results, now I have access to more weirdos it's your problem:

It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.

Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.

Which of these would surprise you more to find on the doorstep?

Fairy

Walrus

Voting ended onFeb 26, 2024

[baddywronglegs]

Not naming options to skew votes but...

I think there's something fundamentally baffling with the way most of you think.

[formlesschromatic]

[troacctid]

Happy birthday to this iconic poll

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[theonion]

Adopting a tougher stance against the increasingly widespread form of workplace corruption, U.S. Department of Labor officials announced plans Thursday to crack down on people getting paid for their work. “For far too long, the practice of receiving money for services has gone unchecked, and today we’re turning over evidence to the attorney general so that individuals complicit in such activities can be prosecuted,” said acting Labor Secretary Keith Sonderling, noting that Americans found guilty of accepting paychecks, healthcare benefits, retirement fund contributions, or other financial compensation from their employers could face up to 40 years in federal prison.

Full Story

[catchymemes]

[satan-offical]

whenever I watch a movie where people are like dismembering someone alive and they're all chanting "hail satan hail satan" I always think "WOAH WOAH WOAHH GUY'S I NEVER ASKED YOU TO DO THIS! I DON'T NEED YOU TO DO THIS! I HAVE A TUMBLR ACCOUNT YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON!"

[the-actual-jesus-h-christ]

I kind of don’t want to believe you, but at the same time I know what it’s like to have a toxic fandom.

[satan-offical]

Jesus You Don't Get To Talk You're About To Be Tumblr Sexy Man

[the-haiku-bot]

Jesus You Don’t Get

To Talk You’re About To Be

Tumblr Sexy Man

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[the-one-eyed-seer]

Shoutout to disabled people who like hiking

Shoutout to mobility aid users who like walks

Shoutout to light sensitive people who like being outside

Shoutout to wheelchair users specifically who like going outdoors

Being disabled isn’t antithetical to appreciating nature

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

I swear to fucking god. I would claw out OneDrive from my computer if I could. I would burn down their servers if I could. I would run down their stocks to the ground if I could. I hope every single one of their workers gets a better offer from a competitor in the next 24 hours. I hope every single one of their light bulbs explodes at the same time. I hope every single carton of milk in their fridge will always be expired.

Stop backing up my fucking files.

Stop asking me to back up my fucking files.

Stop taking my fucking files off my fucking computer.

I don't want a fucking reminder in three fucking days. Let me fucking say no.

Fuckers.

[prismatic-bell]

Friend, I have news you're gonna love. Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.

Here's a text tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 11.

Here's a video tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 10.

Here's a video tutorial to get rid of that shit on Windows 11.

Go forth. Be free.

[ophilosoraptoro]

Reblog to save a life... and someone's sanity