hey can you come over and surgically remove this heavy, aching rot from my heart? we can watch a movie afterwards
sheepfilms
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

JBB: An Artblog!
Cosmic Funnies
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
dirt enthusiast

oozey mess
$LAYYYTER

No title available
Peter Solarz
NASA
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Janaina Medeiros

izzy's playlists!
occasionally subtle

pixel skylines

Kiana Khansmith

blake kathryn
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Show & Tell
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@starsbreadus
hey can you come over and surgically remove this heavy, aching rot from my heart? we can watch a movie afterwards
congratulations piracy
Ad agency: Please don't steal the King's potatoes, no matter how easy it is.
Regular people: Wait, the King has easily stolen potatoes? How do I get in on this?
Internet users who have been stealing potatoes for years: We made a machine that picks so many potatoes and also that machine is free. Enjoy!
Ad agency: you wouldn't steal a movie?
10 year old me with 0 income and no movie: YOU CAN STEAL MOVIES????
[Image ID: Headline from IFLScience reading: "You Wouldn't Steal a Movie" Advert May Have Led To More People Stealing Movies /End ID]
Fun fact! Both the music and the font in that ad were incorrectly sourced and did not provide compensation to the creators
have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.
they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.
their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.
longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years
toxic flesh
has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.
lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion
largest genome of any shark
eats everything including moose and polar bears
ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you
this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard
just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !
Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!
Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir
I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks
grace, who has been alone for five minutes: oh my god. an alien! im not alone anymore! i hope he wants to be friends :)
rocky, coming up on 50 years of solitude, imprinting on grace in ways baby ducklings can only dream of: if you leave me to sleep where i can't watch your heart beat i am blowing up this tunnel with us both in it
free fic idea up for grabs. godspeed
I really tried to tip the scales in your favor
Apparently the dude who runs the crematorium is just fundamentally confused about how advertising works. He actually thought that the way you made an ad was you found a picture that got people’s attention … and then also included information about your company. He was genuinely surprised and baffled when people thought there was any relationship between the (independently nonsensical) captioned image and his cremation business. There were two more ads in the series that are equally, just… so much…
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this is somehow incredibly effective tbh
we gotta get back into revolving bookcases i'm begging
truly we allow the pinnacles of human achievement to wither and collapse into ashes in the wind
These are the most fuckable bookshelves I’ve ever seen
@elodieunderglass
That is very strange indeed!
me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid
can i get a fucking ETA on “this too shall pass”?
He can't keep getting away with this 😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨
When ao3 goes down, I appreciate that everyone slinks back to tumblr and then we all proceed to join in on my favorite bit
Ao3 is first and foremost☝️our wife!!
Bonus:
I just got the funniest caution message at the beginning of a Wikipedia article
Yeah.
REBLOG IF YOU ACTUALLY READ TAGS
here at the sandwich shop, we’ve started to notice some people who are new to sandwiches aren’t used to meat and cheese between two slices of bread. they find this practice strange and confusing. that’s why we’ve decided to cut the bread out all together. from now on, we’ll just serve slices of meat and cheese on a plate.
we know that many of our loyal sandwich shop customers have been coming here for years to buy our delicious sandwiches. but some people don’t “get” sandwiches, and we need to try and appeal to them with an easier-to-understand meal format. we will no longer be serving sandwiches. all of our food will just be cold cuts on a paper plate. we love our customers and appreciate your understanding <3
Yes we know Craig's Cold Cuts down the street does cold cuts better than we do and has millions of customers. That's why we need to switch to cold cuts, to get their customers. We hope that our long-time sandwich loving customer base will be patient in this transition to cold cuts and welcome the certain influx of Craig's Cold Cut customers who will surely come here to enjoy our worse cold cuts with you, our sandwich-deprived customer base, whom we value so much.
I love how this goes around again every time the tumblr staff does something fucking stupid.
E—m—d—a—s—h—N—e—c—k—l—a—c—e
Y—o—u—P—e—o—p—l—e—W—i—l—l—R—e—b—l—o—g—A—n—y—t—h—i—n—g
needs an em-dash at the beginning and/or end, otherwise the first or last letters will be right next to each other
϶—O—h—T—r—u—e—ϵ
(added clasps)
϶—F—r—i—e—n—d—s—h—i—p—B—r—a—c—e—l—e—t—ϵ
϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ
Cursed amulet necklace that doesnt have a cursed amulet its just the phrase cursed amulet
϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—(¤)—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ
϶—T÷h÷a÷t÷s÷A÷G÷o÷o—d—P o
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀F
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀C
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀K
⠀⠀⠀⠀M⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Y
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀B⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀EA
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀D
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