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camalilium

if anyone asks me where my sense of humor comes from im just gonna show them the 90s sailor moon dub

#oh my GOD #sailor moon

househunting

i heard u guys like carpeted bathrooms so i made a whole post of carpeted bathrooms.

bunjywunjy

catch me scooting around on the ceiling of the pink one and reaching down to zap people

gallusrostromegalus

I’m a fan of the neon moss toilet and the bathroom made entirely of the lumpy yellow chenille blanket that my aunt crocheted before they got the dosage right on her Adderall.

notpulpcovers

Trapped between his own wanton lusts & basic boating etiquette

keepyoureyesonthebackofyourmind

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

merry-go-round-jailhouse

literaryreference

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it

super-affection

was ringing up a customer and added his coupons, he was surprised it took off so much off the total and i accidentally said “well tits the season!” instead of tis the season but he let out a very long and powerful “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell yeah”

randomitemdrop

Item: Cadbury Crab Eggs. Appear to be standard confectionery, but when eaten, a live and angry blue crab emerges, presumably attacking the eater.

aaronsmithtumbler

Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

val-ritz

YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE

#I'M LOSING MY MIND

coolsaddad-blog

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

feels-for-the-fictional

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

marzipanandminutiae

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

ineptshieldmaid

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

squeeful

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.