Zee, Fondly

Zee. 25, Bi, Black. Midwest girl in an east coast world. No conceivable theme or concept, much like the past year or so. I make a lot more sense if you think of me as a cross between a fine arts kid and a geek.

[valtsv]

the spikier a crown is the better it is

[valtsv]

see what i mean

[valtsv]

rip to jc but this shit rocks

[heresylog]

“Rip” haven’t you heard?

[sistersorrow]

Broke: vampires are real, and they act just like in the stories

Woke: vampires are real, but the stories are inaccurate

Bespoke: vampires are real, the stories are inaccurate, and vampires made up those stories to keep humans ignorant

Baroque: vampires are real, and the stories are inaccurate, but vampires reacted to things like Dracula and Masquerade the same way the mafia reacted to The Godfather and now actively try to play out the tropes

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

Update: he bought more when it was at $0.50.

It’s now down to less than two cents

[singing-sorrowless]

I was literally crossing my fingers hoping the final tweet would say that his wife left him

[insomaniackills]

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE 🎉

Wishing his now ex wife the best of luck

[insomaniackills]

This is the tweet about his wife’s investing skills btw

[staffs-secret-blog]

Oh my god I got an email from staff

[staffs-secret-blog]

Yeah okay this is fair

[mugasofer]

[ilovecats4ever]

[froggish-androgyne]

it is So funny to me to imagine jack listening to hannibal and will from the pantry in mizumono

[angelcuppa]

hannibal: did you think you could change me? 😪💖 the way I changed you? 😗✌🏻

will: I already did 🥺

jack bleeding out in the pantry: I fucking hate gay people

[makiema]

SHINKAI MOVIES + FOOD

YOUR NAME (2016) WEATHERING WITH YOU (2019)

[galvanizedfriend]

[leatherleaves]

I recently started working in hospitality, and I’ll tell you guys right now, the trope of “there was only one bed” is not as rare as you’d think in real life. A few times a week, at least, I have guys come in who are working together on projects in town or passing through who have to literally book the last room I have available for the night and lo and behold — there is only one bed, and guess what, they give each other a side-eyed look and begrudgingly take it. So write it up, it happens all the time!!!

[karis-the-fangirl]

[blatant-phishing-attempt-bot-de]

Never let your There Was Only One Bed dreams die. I was secretly in love with my best friend for over a year when she graduated and moved to Oklahoma (like 1000 miles away) for grad school. Between that travel restrictions, we were so scared we’d never see eachother again.

At the end of summer, when Covid numbers were at a lower point, I took the risk to visit her in her new apartment and I quickly realized that, unlike when I’d spent the night at her house before, the couch wasn’t made up like a bed. She explained that since her new couch was so fancy and pink, I couldn’t possibly sleep on it, and so I needed to sleep in the bed with her. You know, out of necessity. I woke up with her snuggled around me in the middle of the night.

We’re dating now, and I genuinely think I’m going to marry her. Just the other day, though, I mentioned that if she hadn’t been weird about her fancy couch, I probably never would have like confessed my feelings. AND THEN she stood up, took the cushions off the fancy couch, UNFOLDED IT INTO A HIDE-A-BED, and said “I KNOW.”

THIS GIRL. ORCHESTRATED. BED SCARCITY. JUST SO SHE COULD MAKE THE “ONLY ONE BED” EXCUSE. Y’all when I said I just about lost my goddamn mind, I just about lost my goddamn mind. I love this sneaky bitch so much and the moral of this story is BE THE ONE BED YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

[leet911]

Fanfic imitates life, and life imitates fanfic. It’s full circle really.

[blue00phoenix]

oh my god 

there was only one bed

but it was STAGED

[thedragonemperess]

I love this so much

[potterchild]

New Fanfic Trope Unlocked!!!!!

AU:There was only one bed - by design👀

[lanzhans]

THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS, by @chloegong

“those who do not care, those who are violent, those who delight in that which is terrible”—marshall shrugged, waving his hands about as he chose the right words—“they thrive. they come outside.”

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[thenervousbookworm]

[screen-studies]

MISSY PEREGRYM as “Haley Graham” Stick It (2006) dir. Jessica Bendinger

[aylendoesart]

Gotta keep a straight face u guys

based on this post

[toonqueen]

Man at first in the last panel I thought Alfred was checking his own pockets for money to pay the fee for Jason.

[sndwave]

the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore

who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”

at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it

[sndwave]

*stands majestically in a bucket*

[stemmmm]

ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in

[prokopetz]

It’s even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.

Some folks are asking “well, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn’t that ruin his whole motivation?”, but he’s not on dry land here.

The parley takes place on a sandbar - which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary “island” of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.

What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?

“Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?”

What I am saying is that there must have been a process.

[stumblngrumbl]

Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.

[prokopetz]

It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.

[silver-tongues-blog]

Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.

[prokopetz]

Not necessarily. It’s traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it - I figure that’s why he’s using multiple layers of indirection here. He’s forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it’s technically not dry land (it’s a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn’t set foot on it (he’s standing in a bucket of water). It’s entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn’t make the grade.

[officialharshnoise]

okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it’s specifically “dry land” he’s forbidden from, what about wetlands. can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?

[musicalhell]

This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.

[karometeenk]

could he step on land if his shoes are wet?

[there-was-a-girl]

No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this

[glumshoe]

What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?

[princedorkface]

can he be in a wheelbarrow?

[bemusedlybespectacled]

What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird?

[pantheraj]

What if he’s carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?

[strikelikeahawk]

European swallows or African swallows?

[thinster13]

this whole thread reads like a conversation between these two:

In fact im not entirely sure that it wasn’t their idea in the first place

[marloviandevil]

It probably was.

[oldwayout]

My anthro professor has three forbidden words for his essays: problematic, interesting, and large. Point being they’re all filler words, he wants you to just skip straight to why it’s interesting or why it’s problematic. But anyway, any time I disagree with him in class I say to him “mm, interesting, but largely problematic.”

[teruterusky]

[mikkeneko]

I’m seeing a lot of posts/takes that start out “I simply can’t feel sorry for ScarJo…” and I’m just. like. who’s asking you to feel sorry for her? who’s asking for sympathy? nobody’s asking you to open your hearts, let alone your wallets. you don’t have to feel anything positive for her at all. legal right doesn’t require sympathy.

the question at hand is not “is scarjo a poor pitiable victim,” the question is “does Disney, as a corporate entity, have an obligation to fulfill its contracts, carry out its obligations, and keep its promises” and, yes? the answer is absolutely yes? your feelings on scarjo as a person should have absolutely zero bearing on the answer to this question

if anything it’s Disney who’s asking for pity, for sympathy, to be let off from having to do things it doesn’t want to do because its life is just so haaaaaard right now with the pandemic, and you know what? I simply can’t feel sorry for disney.

[pocketss]

distressing things to say to your friends

[onceandalwaysenglishmajor]

Being on tumblr is like being a raccoon. I dig through the garbage for shiny things I like. Sometimes I find good things to share with my friends. Sometimes I find something horrifying, and also share it with my friends.