welcome to my kitchen... @sum-to-the-infinity - Tumblr Blog

milkooze-deactivated20260329

#do it for her #and by her #I mean ao3

she-doesnt-have-the-range

what did dads even do before wd-40

she-doesnt-have-the-range

fadeintoyou1993

breaking my silence. me

storybookprincess

so back when my little brother was in high school, my mom went as a chaperone for their senior year field trip to an amusement park. which, you know, brave move to volunteer to supervise a bunch of high school seniors let loose in a wonderland of rollercoasters and sugar

my brother and his friends in this field trip group were truly great kids. but they were not above run of the mill teenage boy shenanigans. it’s the end of senior year, you and all your buddies are at the amusement park, you’re naturally going to want to act like a complete moron

there was one kid in the group who was especially prone to goofing around. committed to the bit, some may say. my mom knew that if nonsense was going to break out, he’d likely be at the center of it

so she goes up to this kid at the very start of the trip and says “hey, i’m kinda worried about this chaperoning thing. this might be a lot to ask, but can you help me keep an eye on everyone? you wouldn’t have to do anything big, just be an extra set of eyes for me.”

friends, this kid proceeded to run their field trip group like the fucking us marines. everyone is at the meet up spots at the designated time. everyone waits in line for the rides like a bunch of boy scouts. the second the horseplay gets too out of hand, this kid is getting it back under control

it’s incredible how differently people act based on the expectations you set. instead of going to this kid and saying “hey, i know you’re trouble, so i’ve got my eye on you,” my mom went “hey, i know you have influence in your peer group, so i think you can help me.”

treat someone like a problem, they’ll act like a problem. but give people a chance to help, make them feel important, and they usually rise far above the occasion. it was a stroke of genius that i’m honestly still in awe of

ahappydnp

It’s such a simple known and normal fact that dan wanted to go to uni in Manchester because Phil was there. Like it’s not a secret. Yet them talking about it hits me like a truck. Dan’s sitting there joking about considering his options that were actually their options. WHAT THY FUCK

THEIR options!!!! they would have made it work!!!!!!

eebie

i want a perfect buddy i want a perfect bro

#rose you are my perfect bro

zmpl

can you imagine what it will be like the day it finally happens. no one will be posting about anything else. category 10 posting event. if it happens because of someone else their gofundme page will reach over $500,000 within a day. #hopecore

tinylilhollander

I know that Heated Rivalry is one of those pieces of media where COVID never happens but what if it did? Imagine the lockdown shenanigans.

Shane and Ilya are obviously hunkering down at the cottage together. There's no hockey, but they don't know for how long, so they're still training all the time. They're doing interviews and having to make it look like they're in completely different places. Ilya has to keep being reminded that he's supposed to still be back in Ottawa.

Ilya's teammates keep asking if they can be in a lockdown bubble together and he's gotta be like "No, can't do that. I'm not taking any chances." But now they're worried because he hasn't seen or been around another human being in months and they've noticed that even before lockdown he made more jokes about killing himself than the average person, so they're stressed to their eyeballs about his mental health.

Meanwhile Ilya's living the kind of domestic fantasy with his man that he didn't think they were going to get until retirement. For the first time ever most days he can truly pretend that he and Shane are the only people in the world. Sometimes David and Yuna come over for dinner because they are also isolating at their cottage. But most of the time it's just endless hours of just the two of them and neither of them could be happier. Their biggest decision every day is when and where to fuck. Some people are getting into sourdough – Shane and Ilya have committed to learning one new sexual position every day.

I just think that lockdown would have been the ideal codependent situation for Hollanov.

to--love--and--be--loved

yes but ALSO when lockdown ends and they have to go back to living apart they (especially Ilya) have the biggest crash out you can imagine

tinylilhollander

Omg @scunthotter you can't hide this in the tags 😄

#okay but them coming out to Ilya's team because like his team is concerned and maybe Shane and Ilya go back to Ilya’s ottawa house to get a#grocery delivery that they can't get out at the cottage and the doorbell rings and Shane goes to get it and its bood and hayes standing 6#feet from the door with like a care package for ilya and they're like “ilya said he was isolating alone” and shane is there in boxers and a#raiders 81 sweater like “....um....”

Ilya appears behind him, also in boxers and Shane's Canada fleece, and he looks over to where Bood and Hayes' jaws are practically on the floor, and flashes them an apologetic smile. But internally he's also like fuck, fuck, fuck, Shane doesn't want to come out or be out yet fuck they've fucked it. So he starts like, "So however weird your lockdown stories are, it can't be as weird as ours."

And Shane puts a hand on his arm to stop him, and is like "You can tell them the truth about us, baby, it's okay."

And Bood and Hayes are both like ".... BABY???"

diphowell

dan and phil's domestic bullshit 🥰

bonus 2012 goddammit:

zedogica

ok. i survived 25 years outside the international space station. who gives a shit

biglawbear

Technically most moss is outside the international space station

davvvd

puzzled-on-main

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

lilbatsunglasses

I saw how awful those little massage thongs actually looked and I couldn’t get the image out of my head. Simultaneously the most naked and least sexy I’ve ever drawn them

antikristes

Its not only the trauma, my boy was sent to tartrus twice for plot reasons.

funstyle

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

tired-fandom-ndn

I am whatever the opposite of a speed runner is. I am a game meanderer. I have to look at literally everything. I am overly cautious in every way. I forget to pause and wander away from the game. I take a minimum 7 hours to get through any given level. If you give me a timer I will cry.

json-derulo

magicratfingers

Over the last few days this has become everything to me

ryekat

I love Dan and Phil's dynamic where Dan tries to make a classy and subtle dirty joke and Phil just steamrolls by bluntly saying the thing. Honestly that makes it funnier