Ew @sunflowerooopower - Tumblr Blog

tiktoksthataregood-ish

duckbunny

absolutely delighted that this simplifies the situation

rhube

Having grown up here I do regard this as batshit, and yet also at the same time obvious and correct.

babygirlgeralt

theconcealedweapon

Literally no exaggeration.

wizardsexmachine

POPEYE?!?!??

wizardsexmachine

memecucker

oops-all-birbs

Let's not forget this gem

sch-uwu-lchen

wake up babe new gender just dropped (amphibious)

danandphilnews

tropesarenotbad

[image description: a printed out flyer with the picture of a sleeping grey tabby cat on it. It has text on it that reads:

Muffin disclaimer

So you’ve ordered a muffin! We hope you’re up for a challenge.

Our wobbly tabby cat Bea REALLY likes muffins so there are a few things to be aware of if you have a muffin in the cat area.

- She WILL climb you to try and get your muffin - She is not very good at climbing so she will claw her way up your body - It WILL hurt - She WILL NOT give up - She may try to eat the muffin right out of your mouth - She is not allowed to eat muffins

You may pick her up / move her away if needed and if you’re really struggling, come and talk to us and we will help. No matter how much she wants to, it is still very important that you don’t let her eat any muffin as it will make her sick.

Good luck and we hope you enjoy your muffin experience!

She may look sweet and innocent but we promise you she’s not

/end image description]

musicalhell

Bea the muffin thief has come upon my timeline again and I am obliged to reblog.

why-i-love-comics

It’s Jeff: Infinity Comic #12 - “Jeffsgiving” (2021)

written by Kelly Thompson art by Gurihiru

gothcostco

the plot chickens

worstsimpsonspageever

danubedogs

omg i found this video on youtube called “elk hunting chihuahua” and the guy is like “make sure you have a good hunting dog” and just opens his backpack to reveal his lil chihuahua named coco and tells us how amazing she is at hunting

and then he just whips her out and says “you gotta have one of these things, they can track, and they’re just the best hunting dogs in the world” and that was the whole video and honestly i’ve never wanted a chihuahua more in my life

tangarang

IM CRYING HES HOLDING HER LIKE AN ORANGE

vinca-majors

ok ok ok this post is a great intro but!! the whole vid is an unexpected wonder

like

he talks for a while about general hunting prep without even a HINT of a chihuahua. i was watching it thinking, where is the dog??

“hey everyone. it’s that time of the year, september 18th, elk are in full rut, they’ve been bugling, just want to go over a few things that i bring with me. always have an extra layer of gear, rain gear, looks like we’ve got weather coming in, it was 32 degrees this morning. i always have my cow call in here, i’ve got glasses, i’ve got rain gear, i’ve got beef jerky, gun, water, all that good stuff, so, most important thing though is make sure you have a real good companion. i like to bring my hunting dog, if you don’t have a good dog, this dog—”

AND THEN

FROM THE BACKPACK HE HAS BEEN CASUALLY HOLDING BY HIS HIP

SHE EMERGES

“—can hunt.”

COCO BLINKS BLANDLY IN THE SUDDEN SUNLIGHT

“name’s coco, don’t let the size fool you, she’s all business when it comes to hunting so, she’s a good watchdog”

CAMERA GETS TOO CLOSE TO COCO, WHO GOES ABSOLUTELY FERAL

“ow ow, wow, see— she will take your fi— [to coco] come on, settle down settle down, here we go, we’re going hunting right now”

*slings coco into the air like a bag of trail mix*

“you gotta have one of these things”

*coco furiously wags her tiny tail*

apricops

The worst part about writing fantasy is being keenly aware that you’re writing fantasy, which means that you always have to straddle a thin three-way line between anachronism, cliche, and clunk.

Take money, for example. You can’t just have people in a fictional fantasy world walk around using Euros. You consider something generic, like ‘silver coins,’ but before you know it your world starts sounding like a shitty ren faire.

So you think about the world you’ve built and its needs and its history to come up with some unique and relevant terms. But if your terms are too unique and relevant you wind up writing “yarr, you’ll be ransomed for a hundred Trade League Silver Gyrblonks” and realize your worldbuilding is now getting in the way of basic readability.

shieldfoss

“They’re using golden valley coins!”

…didst thou mean dollars?

“Nevermind. They’re using some basic silver coin and then enough gold to be worth ten silver coins is called a ten-piece”

…Si, si, el Peso!

Trying over, they’re minted by the king so they’re called crown coins, or, these days, abbreviated, they’re just Crowns

Naturligvis, vi skifter Daler ud med Kroner!

—

The Lesson Of The Day is that all the names are already claimed by IRL, and all the almost-good-names that you could invent to get around that were used by some SFF author in the seventies e.g. I bet you can’t do Suns and Moons for your gold/silver coins, I bet some author did that already.

garmbreak1

My fantasy nation uses solid gold coins marked by the dental impressions of the reigning king, as a sign of their purity and authenticity.

They’re called Bitcoins.

brazenautomaton

oh you can go the fuck to jail that’s what you can do, where you’ll be shackled to a chain gang hitting the blockchain with a pickaxe

dareyounottolaugh-blog

spellinwaiting

fairly odd parents fucking knows what’s up

never heard truer words in my life

wereallmusicintheend

Oh look there’s math to prove it too

turboalienjesus-deactivated2021

I thought the whole Suez Canal thing was funny but I just learned it's costing the global elite 9.6B/day AND NOW IT'S HILARIOUS

just-trynabevalid

With all this Bert+Ernie debating, now seems like a very good time for me to point out the REAL iconic gay couple of the Muppetverse we’ve all been ignoring for YEARS

probablyacerealkiller-blog

Shit guys I always thought Statler and Waldorf were brothers but I just went online and no they aren’t but Waldorf is married to this muppet Astoria and guys you’ll never believe this

Astoria is Statler in a fucking dress…

I think we’ve stumbled onto a real conspiracy here folks.

glamourweaver

As this just came back up on my dash, I just want to remind everyone there “older gentlemen who have reserved seats at the theatre they go to every week just to be catty bitches” doesn’t have a heterosexual explanation.

i-am-the-entertainer

Nice, but I must remind you of this moment:

thedragonemperess

So the Muppets are very gay then

valtsv

What do you think of the "revenge bad" tropes frequently found

it actually pisses me off sooooo much when characters are like "ohhh but if i hurt or kill the bastard who made my life and others' a living hell i'm just as bad as they are!" like grow up and shoot him what are you catholic

valtsv

"but i'm too good to kill anyone! :(" i'm not. give me the gun.

theinturnetexplorer

laser-free diet.

floatingwithobrien

y'all need to hear about gerb.

gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story.

when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it.

the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY.

and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives.

one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention.

now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,”

“you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift” and gerb says “i recall” “that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen” and gerb says “yea ok” “jeremy what happened?”

and gerb says

“i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation”