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Keni
Sade Olutola
DEAR READER
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Discoholic 🪩
JBB: An Artblog!
Cosmic Funnies
Today's Document
Jules of Nature
Show & Tell
@theartofmadeline
macklin celebrini has autism
Kiana Khansmith
blake kathryn
Misplaced Lens Cap
$LAYYYTER
trying on a metaphor
Mike Driver
hello vonnie
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@superman-icecream13
and of course I am citing my sources when it comes to shane’s belief that he can make ilya’s depression better through the power of hard work and determination. like shane wouldn’t believe ilya could even be actually suicidal until something happened.
So. Since they have beautiful cottage home in the countryside on a picturesque lake with a dock, inquiring minds want to know:
Who kills/relocates the giant Dock Spiders?
Shane, deftly and with confidence
Ilya, swearing in Russian but not too scared
They both go inside to wait it out, periodically like "do you think it's gone?"
They're tag teamin' it but both yelling and screaming the whole time.
I just image-searched how big Dock Spiders are and am traumatized for life.
Nuance/yelling at op about being kinder to spiders in the tags
“You want to make me a tuna melt?”
I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee
Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post
#really cannot emphasize enough how much iguanamouth changed the site’s sense of humor and therefore the timeline of the western world
STOP SCROLLING
Your life ends in the wasteland.
there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it
I live in the northwest coast of Canada so we walk everywhere and do stuff outside in the rain and swim in whatever lakes and rivers we find so imagine my smug sense of Canadian superiority when I met a USAmerican Midwesterner who was horrified at the very thought
And then I went to the USAmerican Midwest
And I understood
What I mean to say is that it's very easy to delude yourself into believing you are more in tune with your environment when your environment is not actively hostile to your existence in every conceivable way
BC, Canada:
Rains frequently, but the worst is like standing under a bathroom shower. Genuinely inhospitable rainstorms are uncommon.
Along the coast, it's pretty easy in most areas to walk to at least one store, or else there's usually a bus or shuttle available. There are sidewalks and bike lanes everywhere.
It's a temperate boreal rainforest, so while there are many freshwater lakes and rivers, they're usually pretty cold. The biggest danger is typically getting caught in a strong current, and the most dangerous animals in swimming distance are on land.
Earthquakes happen almost every day, but the vast majority go unnoticed. Buildings are designed to withstand bigger seismic activity, so unless it's a 5 or higher it just kind of feels like having low blood sugar for a second. There are no tornados
Rural Illinois, USA:
One minute it's sunny, then ten minutes later that distant smudge on the horizon has swallowed the entire sky in black clouds and the water is coming down like waterfall and you literally CANNOT SEE. Then there's a crash like cymbals and you need to get indoors because the thunder and lightening are on TOP of you
No sidewalks until you are in the smack dab center of town, which is a three hour walk or twenty minute drive from wherever you are.
There aren't many natural bodies of water other than small ponds and creeks, and because the environment is so much warmer, those are filled with snapping turtles that can grow bigger than a nine year old child and cottonmouth snakes that are incredibly venomous. These are paired with leeches and mosquitos.
Sometimes Jupiter, Lord of the Heavens decides to jam his finger into the side of your house just to fuck with your whole shit and throws your truck a thousand yards into the nearest church
Sound designing a vampire being hit in the face with a shovel is... challenging. Who would've guessed.
[Audio transcript: Ben Galpin voicing Jonathan Harker from Dracula by Bram Stoker. He says, "There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face," followed by a cartoon "bonk" and the Wilhelm scream. End transcript]
texas giraffe update:
💖 catch me if you can, suckers 💖
Wishing you all a fat and happy, "catch me if you can" summer
Greatest hits of FIFA cultural exchanges thus far:
Learning about flyovers and pyrotechnics at American games being a thing
Non-americans discovering the size of American football stadiums....for high schools in texas. Also the size of our stadiums in general.
Going to baseball games as a side treat! Lmao.
Non-americans losing their minds over "like, 100 petrol pumps," at buc-ees.
Related: Americans often forget how huge target and Walmart is.
People discovering American BBQ
Non-americans being obsessed with mid American restaurant chains like Golden Corral and Taco Bell
A lot of them really did feel god in this chile's apparently
The rightful obsession with waffle house
New understanding of American Big Drink With Ice supremacy as summer creeps in
Begrudging acceptance of mandatory water breaks during games
Americans realizing we have a Team USA and we are not, in fact, just "hosting our friends" from around the world — mostly because we won our first match and our team is decent??? Not amazing but not the worst.
Side rant: us women's football team is legendary good and we should care about that more like. Hello???
Admitting Americans are right about air conditioning
Related: the english team did warm ups in Florida RIP, and also the there's a video of the French team just being like fuck the heat, fuck the sun, this is so hot...
Americans who do not normally care about international football but fucking love a sport and cheering so we're just hyping whatever team is nearby, like we see a party and just show up and learn the chant. Like sorry many of us don't know shit about soccer but if we see a bunch of people in viking helmets or kilts or holding a bunch of flags and cheering we're game.
TAILGATING!!!!
I already said this but American yellow school bus is an international celebrity
The Scottish drank Boston dry of beer apparently, like they quadrupled what Boston normally sells for fourth of July weekend. SAM ADAMS HAD TO GET AN EMERGENCY BEER DELIVERY.
Also the English team fans got kicked out of The Londoner pub in Dallas after drinking 5,000 beers and going over max capacity lmao
Free refill drinks, tortilla chips & salsa.
So many non-americans are going to be here for the 4th of July for our 250th anniversary which is going to be great and hilarious
Non-americans discovering ranch as a beloved condiment
Non-americans understanding American obsession with hamburger now
Japan's homebase is in Texas and the cultural differences are frankly great and also the Japanese fans are SO NICE and helped clean up the stadium after a match???
All the short videos with the eagle screech (which I think is actually a hawk but whatever)
I love this - as fucking shitty as our country is (and not every problem we have is exclusively American), I love other countries getting to see the good in America. Not the politics and international news, but the people and things that do make us unique (for not bad reasons). Every country has their own problems that can feel absolutely crushing when you live there and only hear the negative, so it is good to hear about the good and to remember that your country is more than your shitty government.
My dad works at Home Depot and this one customer came in trying to return a lawnmower that wouldn’t start. Another employee asked the customer if he had put any gas in it and the customer was outraged, yelling that they should have told him it needed gas (it was in the manual) and the employee told him “Well it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams, sir.” That pissed the guy off more so he called the manager all “Can you believe this guy!? He told me it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams!” and the manager just said “Well, it doesn’t.”
"So, how's the wife?"
"Ah yes, the old ball and chain."
"That's a little rude, don't you think?"
I pull out a wedding photo from my wallet and you see me at the altar across from a chain chomp with a pink bow.
like day and night this guy
Out of all the heated rivalry analysis I’ve seen I’ve never seen someone mention that after the all star game Shane no longer drafts and deletes texts. He says what he intends to say the first time and stops editing and second guessing himself and it’s one of my favorite details showing that their dynamic has changed and no one talks about it
as a cis guy, when presented with the "99% you get a ton of money, 1% you turn into a girl" it honestly would be dumb to not hit that button until it breaks. like ok now i have 100 bajillion dollars and gender dysphoria. big deal. i have all the money in the world to turn me back into a guy. like with that kind of money i could have obama do me a phalloplasty. he wouldnt be able to do it as he isnt a surgeon but the point still stands
Okay but hear me out OP, what if the button does the genie wish thing and it flips your internal experience of gender but doesn't change any of your external sex characteristics? This isn't even a gotcha, I'm just actually curious
well in that case i still end up with the "shitload of money & gender dysphoria" combo but this time obama is doing a vaginoplasty instead
#all roads lead to obama bottom surgery (via epicsause-official)
"Then transition."
Every time you go in a public place and something ISN’T disgusting it’s because somebody cleaned it. Every time you feel comfortable using a public bathroom or sitting at a restaurant table or setting something on a gas station counter or playing on a playground it’s because somebody cleaned it.
Thank you to everyone who cleans the world, especially those who are underpaid and under appreciated.
I worked in a supermarket for 7 years and I don't think I can understate just how much cleaning you had to do for it to look clean (it very often where not in the places you aren't supposed to see)
True for food service, retail establishments, gyms, outdoor areas, schools, religious buildings, office buildings, etc. People usually only notice when a space is NOT clean, meanwhile every time a space is clean it’s only because of the diligent work of janitors, maintenance staff, custodians, parks workers, or volunteers.
