#(source: friends)

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: When you meet someone for the first time and it's new and exciting. You know that rush?

Tim: No. No, see, when I first meet somebody it's mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Sirius: [Walks in and puts a human skull on the table where James and Peter are sitting] Peter: Uhhh... Pads? Sirius: What? Peter: The skull? Sirius: Oh yeah, that's my uncle's. James: [lurches back] OH MY GOD!!! Sirius: No, it's not his, it belonged to him. He'd put it out every Christmas to remind us that even though it's the holidays, people still die. Sirius: Plus, you can put candy in it! Regulus: *Enters* Hey guys... Aww, the Christmas candy skull! You remembered!

[mooonyagedaydream]

Sirius: Ya know, when Prongs made out with my brother, I was mad at him for, like, ten years.

James: That was five years ago.

Sirius: I know. You got five more years.

James: padfoot...

Sirius: You want to make it six?

[stardust948]

Zuko: [Walks in and puts a human skull on the table where Sokka and Katara are sitting]

Katara: Uhhh... Zuko?

Zuko: What?

Sokka: The skull?

Zuko: Oh yeah, that's my father's.

Sokka and Katara: [lurches back] OH MY GOD!!!

Zuko: No, it's not his. It belonged to him. He'd put it out every Christmas to remind us that even though it's the holidays, people still die.

Zuko: Plus, you can put candy in it!

Azula: *Enters* Hey guys... Aww, the Christmas candy skull! You remembered!

[minimarvelh]

Tony: Remember, when Peter thought it was funny to crawl on Top of the One World Trade Center and take a free fall? I was mad at him for like 5 years.

Peter: Wait, that was yesterday..

Tony: Yeah, you got 4 years 364 days left.

Peter: Tony—

Tony: You wanna make it 5 years?

[antiquarianfics]

[Luffy walks in on Y/N eating cheesecake off the floor.]

Luffy, pulling out a fork: Alright, what are we having?

[incorrectquoteshungergames]

Peeta: Things are getting pretty heated between Katniss and I.

Finnick: Oh yeah?

Peeta: The other day she told me I looked good, and we made eye contact.

Finnick: Wow, I hope you were using protection.

[sayangrafayel]

MC: I want to get a tattoo but I'm scared my boyf-

Simone: Okay. Cut that crap. Is your boyfriend the boss of you?

MC: What?

Simone: Is your boyfriend the boss of you!?

MC: No..?

Simone: Okay, so who is the boss of you!?

MC: ...You?

Simone:

MC:

Simone: No!! YOU are the boss of you!