#actually gad

[fountainpenchess]

So... OCD now has a new obsession! I created a fetlife account to explore kink communities, post horny texts and maybe contact some people. But goddamit now I feel guilty and anxious that my (ex?)crush wouldn't date me if he finds out about the account. Which is really dumb considering that he has already dump me lol. Like yeah we are really compatible so maybe in the future something romantic can happen but is definitely not the next months.

And idk I just feel dirty somehow. As if sexting with strangers wasn't something a lot of people do. I have many sex negative views because my family is sex negstive in general but damn. I sm afraid of having started an OCD crisis episode again or smth.

I don't want to delete the account because I do want to read erotica and continue investigating about kink communities (I study sociology, investigating is my thing). But idk I want to block everyone. Maybe sitting with the discomfort for a while would help idk idk

[buglesbian]

When you wanna chat with friends but you don’t wanna msg first because you’re scared to be annoying(:

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

my brain when my GAD exists: “there’s someone behind the shower curtain, open it”

my logical brain: “there literally is no one there ever, also i would hear if someone came in, also there’s other people in the house, how could someone come in and go behind the shower curtain when there’s so many people in here, and ALSO WHY WOULD THEY”

my brain with my GAD: “idk, but there’s definitely someone behind the curtain, we must have it always open to eliminate that hiding spot”

my logical brain: *sigh* “fine”

[oceanamethyst]

Guess who nearly started crying at Target

Holy crap all the people I thought everyone was staring at me I don’t even flipping know anymore lmaoooo

[oceanamethyst]

Me: Man I hate having anxiety! The stomachaches and being nervous over nothing suck!!!

God: Haiiii! ((squishes cheeks)) you won't ask for help because of your simulatenous inferiority and superiority complex so I decided to give you this dead giveaway that you're not okay!! Your teeth now chatter violently when you're in an extreme amount of stress!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗

Me: 😬🫨 :C

[katerina-khimera]

I think the worst part about being autistic and having severe trauma is it's like having 10 different mental illnesses in a trench coat like what the fuck. It's like if PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, and a couple personality disorders all combined to make my brain. But none of it really got noticed by my therapist bc she basically blamed everything on the depression. Uhhh, I see shit that isn't there, have severe compulsions, and have no semblance of a healthy attachment style. Yes depression is a problem that causes a lot of stuff but I'm gonna doubt it causes THIS

Also genuinely looking at my brain I wonder HOW I got this far?? Literally how. How have I. I've come to the conclusion its bc I'm a genius. Literally my entire life is just outsmarting my brain

[bpdpoetry]

LeT THe PRoffSSionals FIguRE iT oUT

how about i look at the dsm and worry about how i relate to the symptoms okay?

[mybpdnme]

04/03/20

I am really depressed and I'm sure it's for chemical reasons. Life is going pretty good and my feelings are sabotaging everything. I dont want to do anything, eat anything, feel anything.