lingsha moments <3
when you're close to me ☆ lingsha x reader
~ i hope u guys have been doing welllll uni is kicking my ass but ive made so many friends and im happy!!!!! clubbing sucks tho i do not get the appeal sorry guys and gays..
lingsha lovers i hope this helps the lack of lingsha content.., i am starved fr
song: on melancholy hill - gorillaz ~
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The idea of an eternity, immortality and a life that comes with no end has always been a fascination until it became a reality. Like to never meet your heroes, Lingsha wishes they had never been so ambitious and made their dreams a nightmare. She never cared for the idea of eternity, an idea of rebirth or reliving until she stumbled across you. Because now the idea of having to lose you haunts her every move, the idea of having to lose you haunts her every morning when she wakes up, when she touches you and feels the soft pulse of your heart beneath her fingers as she lays her hand on yours. She takes in the shape of your body, the shape of your face. She runs a hand up your arm, cupping your cheek with a light touch. The human skin is so soft, so fragile. You could bleed any minute, you could fade any minute and it scares her so much.
"Baby?"
Your voice snaps her out of her trance as you blink sleepily, trying to make out the shape of her face from the darkness that she has learned to embrace as part of loving because it's in the dark where she's most intimate with you.
"Mhm?"
"What's wrong?"
Her heart stutters at your hoarse voice, the hint of worry laces your words in such a way it has her wanting to hold you even closer. She acts on her thoughts, resting her head in the crook of your neck as she gently puts an arm around your waist. She feels you smile, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head as you wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to you.
Close to you.
It's all she really wants. She wants to wake up every morning to the sound of your heartbeat, your scent of shampoo and conditioner. She wants nothing more than to write your name in the very stars she looks up at every night so that she can see you every time she looks up into the night. Yet it haunts her, the inevitability of it all.
"Nothing's wrong."
"Don't lie to me, Lingsha."
She can feel your heart beating against her own chest, she can feel your arm tense slightly as move to look into her eyes and it's dark but she would recognise your eyes from anywhere.
"I love you." Is all she says.
She watches you hesitate, worry crossing over your face as you tuck a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. She will always smile when you touch her, even if it's something as simple as a graze of the hand or a touch of the cheek. She smiles now, the morning light barely peeking over the dark curtains and the two of you laying side by side.
"I love you most."
She just pulls you back down gently, returning to rest her head on your chest as your legs tangle together- you merge into one for maybe just a minute where your hearts beat together like a well oiled machine and for a minute she forgets about the briefness of it all.
"Talk to me?"
She shakes her head.
"Later. Just let me lie here for now."
A warmth blooms within her when you just sigh, pressing a kiss against the top of her head once more and she clings onto you like a lifeline.
"Anything for you."
The summer breeze has always been a reminder for Lingsha. The way the air cools during the night, and the cicadas quiet down as the sun fully sets into the evening. The evening nights held so many special memories with the person who occupied her heart, so many moments with your hearts intertwined and written in the skies above for all of the universe to see.
The night sky has always been ours.
A deep, shaky breath is released as she holds her bouquet of flowers tight, close to her beating heart. She hopes to transfer some of who she is into the flowers she holds in her hands as she reaches her destination. She smiles softly when she sees the faint outline of you, her heart twisting.
"Hello, my love."
She crouches down slowly in front of the tombstone in front of her, swallowing down the lump that has begun to form in her throat as she places the flowers down on the side. She takes a shaky breath in, trying to calm down how fast her heart was beating, how with each thump it slams itself against her ribcage, trying to break itself into pieces that would never be able to function the same way as it did before. She touches the edge of the tombstone with her fingers, feeling the rough gravel beneath her fingers as she sits down properly next to you.
"I'm sorry I couldn't come last week."
She leans her head against what was left of you, the scratchy rock being all that's left. She closes her eyes as she lets out a shaky sob, she closes her eyes as she tries her hardest to just feel a heart beating beneath her, to feel the warmth of a human body instead of the prickly grass and dry dirt.
"I miss you."
Is all she can manage out as she grips at the grass beneath her feet, knowing she could never feel your hand on top of hers again. Knowing she could never feel your fingers intertwine as you hold her close and tell her it'll be okay. She grips at the grass, feeling the fragile blades snap as she digs her fingers into the dirt below, anchoring herself the best she can but she's shaking now and she feels like her lungs are collapsing.
She just wants to feel your heartbeat against hers once more, but she knows it would just make it harder for her to let go of you- as if she could even do that to begin with.
"Come back.."
A hopeless cry into the night, begging for a reality that can only be seen in the past- a past where your smile is no longer as clear as it once was and your voice is muffled. You'll fade one day, even in her mind.
She wants to scream.
She just rests her head against what's left of you and closes her eyes- she just pretends it's you. She replays what's left of your muffled voice, she tells herself it's okay. She tells herself you're still close, you're still here.
You smile at her from the stars.
