#asexual struggles

[acespejs]

[bloggingboutburgers]

Ace week day 2... I'll try to post something a bit happier next time, but sometimes stuff like this needs to come out too

[melovibes57]

[alloandace]

I am not your roommate. I am not your charity case. I am your partner. My asexuality doesn't define my capacity to love. 💜

[moonprismpower456]

Some people will really say “Sex is fundamental part of the human experience and humans can’t live without it because humans were built to have sex with each other….besides ace folks tho! :D” and think they’re a good ace ally

[repulsed-confessions]

Average asexual space experience; that's how half of the community sounds like, especially under a repulsed (sometimes averse) post. Since why should they mind their own business; No, they'll get offended over stuff they have nothing to do with.

*coughs* The main Ace subreddit

[immabebaby]

How come whenever ppl make arguments about Ace ppl being valid, they're always centered around fucking. It's all "they fuck too y'know" and "they don't have to fuck to be valid" and all that shit. But it's never about kissing.

I'm ace, I've known that, I've known that I don't want an explicit relationship, and that it's ok bc that's what ppl validate in ace peeps, but never about kissing

I always thought "well I might not put out but kissing is fine" and then it almost happens. And then I get asked for a "proper kiss" and I don't

I don't want that, the kiss feels wrong, I feel wrong

People always talk about not have sexual urges as feeling broken, but what about not even "being able to handle a kiss"? Huh? What about that?

What about always thinking kissing's fine and then you realize it's just as off the table as sex, and it feels wrong.

And I know it's not wrong, that I'm not broken for that, but it doesn't feel that way when ur world view is so drastically shifted, when ur feelings of wrongness aren't nearly as addressed as the general idea of what feelings should be wrong

Because people assume kissing is still fine. Oh you don't go all the way? That's fine as long as we can still make out. Oh we can't kiss? Are you sure? You know that's not the same thing?

I just want to feel validated and understood. Is that too much to ask?

[multiversalmania]

A Simon who wears the persona of Ghost like armor.

A Simon who wears his kit like armor.

A Simon who wears clothes like armor.

At least two layers. At all times.

The rest of his team has slipped under the ther armor of Ghost. The rest of his team has seen under the armor of his kit.

But only Johnny, beloved Johnny, has seen under the armor of clothes.

Simon trusts Johnny enough for that, he does, he swears...

But that doesn't stop his mind from writhing and hissing and cringing when that last layer of armor is off, when the one he loves is close.

Simon swollows that discomfort at first, hiding it from the world, from Johnny.

Because isn't that what couples are supposed to do? To touch like this, be so close, so vulnerable. and besides, it makes Johnny happy, and he wants that desparately.

Simon swollows that discomfort until it grows too big in his chest like some thorny bush, spiking out of his skin, urging him to cling to the armor of clothes.

Two layers, three, four, more and more

And yet a few simple words are enough to slip those layers

Until one night that thorny bush grows up his lungs, through his mouth.

"Just get it over with."

"Wha'?"

The horrified look in Johnny's eyes makes that thorny bush in Simon's chest wilt, but finally Simon tells Johnny.

Tells him of the discomfort, tells him how the time spent with out the armor of clothes, bodies pressed together makes his skin crawl in a way he can't swallow down anymore.

He cries and apologizes to Johnny, he's sorry he can't just be perfect for him, can't just... be like everyone else, all those feelings that spur people to make songs and books and movies.

And Johnny appologizes in turn.

He never would have pushed his dear, beloved Simon to do something that made him feel like that, had he known.

He tells Simon that he doesn't have to do that, that they can be happy together without sex, without touching like that, that he doesn't need it. Simon knows that, logically. he's known that logically for a long time, but in practice? that's a much more difficult thing.

Johnny assures Simon that they'll work on it together and pulls him close, not in the way that had been making his skin crawl, but in a simple hug. Simon burries his face in the other man's chest and lets tears held back far too long fall because

god damnit

they should've had this conversation sooner.