#cognitive reframing

[pr3tty-daisy]

i probably wouldn’t be as hot as i am if my childhood was normal

[pacientia]

Socratic Questioning Worksheet

Thought that needs to be challenged:

Is there evidence supporting the thought? Disproving it?”

Is the thought based on feelings or on facts?

Could I be making assumptions and misinterpreting the evidence or situation?”

“Is this a black-and-white thought that I am having or the more complicated reality?

Could others interpret the same situation differently? What are those interpretations?

Am I considering all the evidence or just looking for ways to justify my perception of the situation?

Are my thoughts an exaggeration of reality?

Did this information come from someone else, or did I witness this?

Is my thinking the worst-case scenario, or is it a likely depiction of the truth?

Is this a thought I usually have, or is there a specific fact that supports it?

Excerpt From Healing Your Wounded Inner Child: A CBT Workbook to Overcome Past Trauma, Face Abandonment and Regain Emotional Stability. (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) Maria Clarke This material may be protected by copyright.

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[philosophersystem]

​​"A soundblade for persecutors who need strength and integration. Folded 200 times. Forged ritually. Hardened in blood. Infused with the souls of the fallen."

– NB#3 "The Blade" [M—0:20]: Mono

『物 — Mono』

"I am the blade in your mind — I cut deep, I slash"

– NB#3 "The Blade" [M—0:20]: Mono

"Unite with the beast, don’t leave me to rust – I’m the truth in your pain, the keeper of trust"

Lyrics:

(Intro)

I’m the darkness in your veins, the fury in your chest

Persecutor risen, no mercy, no rest

Born from the hell that you faced in the past

I’m the blade in your mind, I cut deep, I slash

You call me a demon, but I’m forged from your pain

The scars of your soul, where the trauma reigns

I’m the wrath that you fear, the terror you deny

But I’m the one standing when your world starts to die

[Short Rhytmic Stakkato Breakdown]

(Chorus)

I’m the persecutor, I’m the monster you dread

But I’m holding your ground when your blood’s running red

I’m the beast off the leash, fueled by your scars

I’m the fire in your hell, the rage in your bars

(Verse 1)

You think I’m the villain, the scourge of your core

But I’m the shield, the fury that evens the score

I shame and I punish, yeah, I drag you through mud

But I do it to save you from drowning in blood

I’m the face of your torment, the ghost of your screams

But I’m not them, I’m the nightmare that redeems

I’m the knife in the dark, I’m the poison you spit

But without me, you’d crumble, you’d fall to the pit

(Bridge)

In the depths of your mind, I’m the hell you repress

But I keep you alive in the midst of this mess

My methods are savage, my touch is a curse

But I’m born from your torment, it could’ve been worse

(Chorus)

I’m the persecutor, I’m the monster you dread

But I’m holding your ground when your blood’s running red

I’m the beast off the leash, fueled by your scars

I’m the fire in your hell, the rage in your bars

(Verse 2)

I relive the abuse to keep you razor-sharp

Teach you the ways of the blade in the dark

I’m not your destruction, I’m the force in your veins

The hammer that strikes when you’re bound by chains

I’m the rage you can’t tame, the pain you can’t kill

But I keep you alive when the blood starts to spill

So embrace the chaos, don’t push me aside

I’m the persecutor, the dark in your ride

(Outro)

Unite with the beast, don’t leave me to rust

I’m the truth in your pain, the keeper of trust

When you see what I am, you’ll finally see

I’m the brutal protector, the savagery in me

[mbti-notes]

INFP 16. I love (and also really really hate) what you said about lack of objectivity. After reading about Si loop and pessimism, I'm more aware and try to balance with affirming thoughts. Do you think it helps body dysmorphia too? I'm not diagnosed or anything, I just really hate how I look sometimes. I used to think my judgements were right because of "fact" (like there's a line/mark/bulge to point at) but it's just another thing I get too negative about?

The notion of beauty standards is complicated, so you can read what I've written about it before. Suffice it to say that very few judgments regarding beauty should be considered "objective". You only need to study a bit of history to realize that beauty standards vary widely based on time and place, which reveals a social construct.

As an individual, your idea of beauty is very heavily influenced by the culture and society you live in. I always bring up the story of The Ugly Duckling to illustrate in simple terms what it means to have your perception (of beauty) twisted by society.

You see a line/mark/bulge and think ew gross, others might see something else. One person sees an ugly mole, another person flaunts it as a beauty mark. Your way of looking at it isn't the only valid way, so if your way always suspiciously turns toward the negative, then, yes, maybe you need to rebalance your perspective. Or, there might be a deeper self-esteem issue that needs addressing (especially as it relates to Te grip).

Body dysmorphia can feel like a vicious cycle: You feel bad about yourself for whatever reason, and then you start picking out the stuff in the mirror you don't like seeing, and then you feel even worse about yourself, and then you pick yourself apart even more harshly...

There are a variety of ways to recalibrate your perspective. If you're too negative or critical, then, yes, you can remind yourself to look for the good things you like. For example, you might not like this characteristic of your body, but that other aspect is awesome, so why only focus on the negative? It's unreasonable to expect perfection.

Another method of recalibrating your perspective is to broaden or deepen it:

Example of broadening:

People young and old have written to me about feeling aging anxiety every time they look in the mirror and see a line or a gray hair. But when I look at my parents and aunts and uncles getting older, I don't see them "aging" per se. I see them growing into their skin. I see the evidence of a full life written on their body, and I think it's beautiful and wonderful that they've made it so far in life. Average life expectancy in 1900 was 47, so humans have come a long way!

As I witness myself getting older every birthday, I'm a bit critical if I'm honest, but I quickly adjust my attitude. Instead of fixating on this or that detail, I look at myself and reflect on how extremely fortunate I am to be in good health because I have access to health care, healthy food, and my life isn't so stressful that I can't sleep well at night.

Taking "the grand scheme of things" as your perspective, lines/marks/bulges don't mean much. What matters more? What matters most? If you don't want to live in a society that only values people for their looks, then the change should begin with yourself first and foremost.

Example of deepening:

The way you look is largely determined by genetics, and looks will fade with age. Should you take credit for accidents of nature? Well, if you're going to feel good about yourself through others praising your genes as beautiful, the flip side is that you doom yourself to feeling bad when people don't.

From this perspective, the better approach is to have a deeper understanding of self-worth and how it should NOT be tied to things that have no real meaning, or things beyond your control that you shouldn't be faulted for.

Sure, it's a fact that people who are considered beautiful might have more doors opened to them, but it is also a fact that being a good person is likely to bring you many meaningful rewards in the long run. When people like you mainly for your looks, what happens when you inevitably lose them? When people love you for who you really are at heart... now that's gold. Why settle for less?

.

Adjusting your perspective (aka cognitive reframing) isn't about lying to yourself but, rather, acknowledging that your thinking is flawed and needs correction or improvement. It is a tried-and-true way of mitigating excess negativity. And it should be relatively easy to do for anyone with a healthy N function. How's your Ne?

[fredmouseoz]

I was reminded of this today:

If you are struggling, and you keep thinking to yourself 'my life sucks' even when you know damn well it doesn't, and things are fine, if somewhat on the stressed side

consider reframing: "I am overwhelmed"

(pedant note: please see caveat 'even when you know damn well it doesn't)

[insert-funny-url-here]

Hey random life pro tip but you can and should always examine your thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and assumptions because they all come from somewhere. ESPECIALLY the ones you take for granted. It can be super helpful to just get a little curious and ask yourself "hm. That's interesting. Where did I learn that?" (The answer is usually your parents/family or culture/society/religion).

For example, if you feel worthless because you don't have a job, take a moment to think about where you learned that you need a job to be a valuable member of humanity. That idea didn't come out of nowhere. It probably came from being raised in a capitalist society built on the Protestant work ethic. This also applies to ideas like "I'm boring" or "I'm ugly" or "nobody likes/loves me" or "nobody will like me if I x" or "I have to do x or else y" or "x people are y" or really any other thought/belief.

Importantly, you should not shame or judge yourself when you realize that some of your thoughts/beliefs may have come from somewhere you *really* disagree with. I think this happens a lot for folks who leave a religion or political party and keep some lingering values like purity, keeping up appearances, and needing to atone for "sin". There's nothing to be ashamed of during this process because it's our weird, squishy brains that hold onto values so tightly without us necessarily consciously knowing that it's happening. Our brains don't come ready-made with the ability to disentangle your more conscious beliefs that you may have fully abandoned from less conscious ones that you've perhaps never noticed without conscious effort. When you notice these things, simply acknowledge them, label them, and ask yourself questions about where they came from and if you truly do believe them and why.

This is a continuous process that can take someone's whole life, because we are constantly picking up messages from others around us about how we as human animals "MUST" live in this world. I'm not going to lie and say this is an easy process to go through because you will likely be tempted to feel guilty and ashamed about holding beliefs that don't like up with your actual values, but just remember that it ALWAYS makes sense why/how you got to this point. We are all products of our genetics, relationships, and life experiences, and if you work hard enough and have enough information, you can track down where all the different parts of you came from. I would also highly recommend getting yourself set up with a counselor who you like and trust because they can help you work through disentangling these things without shame.

REEXAMINE YOUR BELIEFS ALWAYS. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT REALITY, THEY ARE JUST THOUGHTS MADE BY YOUR SQUISHY ELECTRIC MEAT.

[itsyagender]

That's it. My intrusive thoughts are now xbox live insults. Go to bed timmy it's 8pm