thought you and i might have everything it’s easier pretending you have angel wings 🪽 idol!martin x fem!reader , in which you notice that the two of you are drifting apart track by : madison beer wc : 0.8k !
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‘dating an idol is fun’ they say.
it was fun. you couldn’t deny that. but fun doesn’t last forever — that was the realisation you had come to.
it was a fever dream. your boyfriend, the very boy you spent your days with, the boy you thought you would spend forever with, became a singer. martin sought his dreams out, accomplished them. and for that, you were proud.
but it meant change.
you didn’t like change, but you learned to make do. after all, you didn’t have much of a choice.
it happened slowly. the distance. and it only seemed to grow as time went by.
little things — that’s how it started. those daily night calls? they became weekly. and you noticed, of course you noticed ; how martin seemed to become disinterested in them. his eyes on the screen, but it always seemed like he’d be staring past you. like there was something after you, like you were an obstacle — like you weren’t someone important, but now just something in his way.
but you glossed over it. ‘he must be tired’, ‘training probably ran through’, ‘he’s just busy’. you reassured yourself with countless excuses, making up for his latecomings.
and then texts became less frequent, and more dry. from messages like ‘how were your classes? i miss you, like crazy bad’ to ‘i’m fine’ and ‘imyt’.
from giving and taking, it was just you giving, and him taking.
but you tried to not let it get to you. you were still a girl with her boyfriend. her boyfriend who was now plastered all around world. but he was still, your boyfriend — your martin. right?
martin rain checked, a lot. yeah, he was busy — he had an actual job where he could hardly catch a break. but sometimes he didn’t even bother letting you know, or probably just forgot about the date itself. you can’t recall the last time he hadn’t stood you up.
it was getting to a point. you could no longer make up reasons for the changes. his changes. you guys weren’t just growing up, but growing apart. an hit hard. when family and friends would ask you how martin was, how he’s doing as an idol ; you’d be silent, because you didn’t know. in truth, you were now no longer different to them. you too wish you knew how martin was, to be able answer these questions.
you loved martin, truly. but you began to doubt that the feeling was still reciprocated. and so, you drifted away just as he did. you no longer sought him out.
there were no more good morning, goodnight texts, no more i love yous and no more late night calls. but couldn’t cut contact just yet. every now and then, you’d try text. to hold at least one conversation a week, no matter how awkward it felt.
but then he stopped replying overall. last weeks texts? still on delivered. those tiktoks you sent? all left on seen.
martin edwards had given up, now he was just waiting on you to do the same.
and so you did. but you were doing it officially — not silently backing out as he did. you texted him, the first time in a while : “can we meet? js for 10 mins max.”
he couldn’t say no to that. so he agreed to meet you tonight, at the park.
you sat on a swing, looking down at your feet. it was dark, and quiet. a moment one could describe as peaceful. but in such a situation, you weren’t able to find solace.
slow steps made their way to you, leaves crunching under the soles of trainers.
“hey..” you raised your head. martin.
of course, he was covered up. baggy jeans and a hoodie of a deep shade thrown on, a face mask hanging just off his ear.
you swallowed hard. this was it. “…hi,”
he hesitated before taking a seat in the swing beside you. “you wanted to talk?” he spoke up, his gaze ahead — never on you.
“mhm,” you didn’t know how to say it. but you had a feeling he already knew what you were going to say. you took a moment, contemplating. was this really happening? were you actually going to break up with him? was your relationship of many years coming to an end?
yes, yes, and yes.
“i think..” you inhaled sharply “i think that we should end things.” you finally mustered up.
neither of you looked at each other, sitting in silence for a couple seconds.
“okay..” he agreed. that was what hurt. he didn’t question anything, he didn’t argue and he didn’t apologise. he merely agreed with a simple ‘okay’.
you nodded back, slowly. and then he got up, not a word leaving his lips, as he made his way out — his back to you.
you watched him walk away. and you didn’t try fight it this time. you were done trying.
I'm about to drop a big hot take. Dare I say scalding...
Iwaoi absolutely drifted post time skip and we shouldn't have needed the magazine to confirm this.
It isn't even just the distance and the challenge of staying touch. They could never work forever.
The show makes a point to show us over and over how Iwaizumi is Oikawa's rock, and obviously they are amazing together. But you know what we never see? Iwaizumi relying on Oikawa. AND the resolution of almost every scene Oikawa is called out or supported by Iwaizumi is him learning to be better independently. A fun example of this is Iwa having to mediate between him and Kageyama, to Oikawa giving Kageyama advice with only minimal bullying. (Lol)
Plus Oikawa was weighed down by his life in Japan. He never got what he wanted despite his hard work. Ushijima might have been philosophically wrong about Oikawa's enrollment, but Seijoh wasn't ever going to be the team he needed. Oikawa's journey is a battle with the self. He's a direct contrast to Kageyama, who has to learn how to be with other people again. Oikawa needs to learn to be alone. A lot of his character arc surrounds his lack of self care. It is a lot of pressure on young Iwaizumi to be the main emotional outlet for someone grappling so much with himself. And when learning to love yourself, sometimes turning to that safe person only stunts growth.
Iwaoi needed each other. They improved and complimented each other. I even believe they were each other's first love. But I simply cannot think of them as successful longterm, despite my struggle to see them with others. It would only sour a beautiful thing, as Oikawa inevitably fell back on old habits and Iwaizumi succumbed to bitterness.
And this is why I can't go too far into content about them.... I just end up crying about first love and lost potential and diverging paths and the agony of soulmates that are meant to separate.
;^;
Just my personal take obvs. I love Iwaoi, and I don't think people who see it differently are outright wrong. I just have trouble getting on board with post time skip Iwaoi because of my own experience with the fickle faults of being so close so young 🤷♂️
We used to fold forever into small things
coffee spoons clinking like it meant
something permanent
your jacket on the back of my chair
as if absence was a rumor we'd never
confirm
We learned each other in the grammar of
habit
your laugh arriving before the joke was
finished
my hand already reaching
for where you used to be
But time doesn't break things loudly
it edits
a missed call here, a shorter reply there
the slow rearranging of a room
after someone decides not to live in it
anymore
I started noticing the space first
not the fight, not the leaving
just the widening quiet
between your name and my mouth
We still said "someday" like it owed us
something
like it hadn't already started collecting its
debts
We still smiled in photographs
as if the camera couldn't tell the truth
And then one day
the conversations stopped pretending to
continue themselves
we became two people
carefully not reaching for the same past
Now I replay you in fragments
a door closing softer than it should
a sentence left unfinished on your tongue
the way we both acted surprised
when forever turned out to be temporary
with better marketing
I don't think it ended all at once
I think it just…stopped arriving
idk why but it is tragic in a sense when u associate someone with a certain color so much so everytime u see it u think of them but when u finally meet them again - only to be hit with the knowledge that they dont wear that color anymore
