#evan and barty

[peachrtistic]

Rosekiller

[sable-520]

Barty: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Death Eater: How did you find us?

Barty: I saw your ad on craigslist.

[obscureraven]

evan is a detective at the police department investigating the case of a brunette, insane male, grey-eyed bartemius crouch jr aka barty who keeps murdering people with the same alias, a rose drawn in their victims blood

and

barty is the batshit crazy murderer who couldnt get over his first love, evan rosier, and after getting the news that he became a detective he started murdering people and drawing a rose with their blood only for the blonde’s attention

[leapfromthegallows]

barty: tell him i’m fine, i’m ok

paramedic: wait, tell who?

barty: he’s gonna worry

paramedic: your coach is calling your dad

barty: no not him, ev

[not-rab]

*at a death eater meeting*

Barty: They hate our strategies because we're dating!

Evan: …

Evan: We’re not dating?

Regulus: YOU’RE NOT!?

Barty *getting off Evan’s lap*: We’re not?!

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Pandora: We need to talk about what's going on with Evan

Barty: The stalking?we settled that, I dont mind

Pandora: No-

Barty: His cloning experiments?

Pandora: I thought he stopped that?

Regulus: His hit list?

Pandora: What?

Regulus: Panda, we've already talked about this it wasn't a "HIT list" hit list- Is this about his spleen?

Pandora: spleen?

Barty: No it's gotta be the-

Pandora: This was about his weed stash but I'm sensing there are more pressing issues I've not been made aware of?

[prongss78]

barty, stealing the marauder's map and figuring out how to open it- because of course he would, he's a genius- and seeing james and regulus suspiciously close together in the astronomy tower, dorcas and marlene in the gryffindor girls dorms incredibly close together, and pandora and lily also very close together in the ravenclaw dorms- not to mention, remus and sirius in a broom closet on top of each other, and peter and gilderoy in the gryffindor dorms also suspiciously close together-

barty, lying in bed half on-top of evan, fully naked: wow, did you know that all of our friends and all of our friend's friends are gay??

evan, who has been running his fingers through barty's hair for the better half of an hour: shocking

barty: i know! and they're all being little freaks right now!

[3vanrosierishighonlife]

Barty put mistletoe in every fucking doorway so he has a “festive” excuse to slam Evan into walls and start aggressively making out with him

Regulus just slaps a hands over his eyes and walks out of the room