Damian, who was raised in a freaking desert compound and didn’t know jack shit about the outside world, thinking him and Tim are finally having a bonding moment:
Tim: Hey, want some candy? leftovers from movie night.
Damian: ….
Tim: …..
Tim: ….dude…have you never had candy?
Damian: *scoff* protein and nutrients were much more important than sugar in training Drake.
Tim: *horrified* dude just try some. god this is unbelievable
Damian: *tries some in hopes of making Tim happy; enjoys chocolate and also skittles*
Tim: *watching amused as Damian pops one of Barts leftover Warheads in his mouth, not so much as a glance at the package*
* Damian makes the most horrific sour face of all time, body takes a screenshot, Tim is pissing himself and takes a picture*
———————————————————————
Bruce walking into the manor from a rough WE meeting: Alfred I’m hom—
Bruce: *stares in disbelief and fear*
*Tim tied to a chair, broken furniture and scattered candy everywhere *
Bruce: Damian what are you doing???!!!
Damian: Drake had poisoned me. I need him to confess so I may obtain an antidote before it’s too late.
Bruce: *questioning glance at tim*
Tim: *deadpan look, nods towards table where Warheads bag is sat in a plastic evidence bag taped shut with biohazard tape, Tim’s phone sat open to picture of Damian making sour face*
Bruce: *Loud Sigh™️*
