#frustratingly

[wanderingmind867]

Therapy went well today. They told me about things I could look into over the four months of summer break I have (because college starts summer break early). Things like the YMCA for classes on entering the workplace or something. It was a good appointment, but I'm forgetting almost everything now. My throats kind of sore and I'm forgetting everything.

If I ever have to work, I feel like I should focus on something that's not dull and money first. I feel like something that's educational or community based would be best for me. Even though I'm pretty antisocial.

My dad goes back to working full time this week. I discussed that in therapy. I've forgotten what we said, and I'm still nervous to readjust to it all. But I know I'll probably be able to get through it.

The big goal I think I should have is learning to open up to people. I need to stop hiding my anger issues. I need to share my interests with others and stop caring about being judged. I need to stop caring about being judged or perceived by people. I know I need to stop caring about all that. I know it's also probably not my biggest priority, but I gotta work on it eventually.

[romanceyourdemons]

it’s funny when i hear the name of a disease or something in mandarin and think that’s a weird thing to call it, and then i think about the english name a little longer and realize it’s literally the same thing but in greek/latin

[capitainecorbeau]

Recorded my voice for the first time since starting T and I didn't even recognize it at first gfqergqsdfgdghnfgj

Also I don't feel like dying like I listen to it ? I dunno if my voice gave my huge dysphoria and I didn't really realize or if it's just that it sounds really different and doesn't really register as me singing, lol

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hey, do you mind telling me where I should look for Ash Sarkar's writing on representation? I've only seen a clip of her calling pierce Morgan an idiot and I enjoyed it very much.

That is an excellent clip! I also enjoyed it very much.

The two pieces I was thinking about were both about the political limitations of the way the politics of identity have come to be understood on the internet - Give White People Something to do and The Slumflower Beef has exposed the limits of influencer activism.

This twitter thread recently took my breath away with its accuracy, succintness and importance. 

She’s also done some really interesting interviews recently.  I loved her interviews with Divina De Campo and Nish Kumar and her interview about influencing.  And pertinent to present discourse, I will watch her interview with Leroy Logan, as soon as I’ve had a chance to watch the Small Axe film about him. 

[sarcasticbabywhispererjess]

Did a full Aztec clay mask yesterday, a peel earlier, and now this moisturizing mask because my skin is a wreck, y’all... especially my mask 😷 area, so much acne happening. I think it’s probability mostly the 12hrs of constant mask wearing at work. All the bacteria from my mouth just trapped on my skin.

[plainspups]

He’s so cute but so awful, I can’t even take it. 

[wanderingmind867]

When I write 20+ posts in any given day, do I seriously expect people to read all my posts? Well, yes and no. I logically know there's no way people can see everything I write. Hell, I forget 90% of what I wrote by day's end! But there's still a part of me that expects all my posts to be seen, I think. I say that largely because I always seem to get disappointed when my posts aren't seen. It makes me feel like my thoughts and posts have been forgotten.

But on the same hand...I seem to get nervous when my posts get excessive amounts of attention. I don't really understand what my brain wants from other people or whatever. All I know is that I seem to have very contradictory opinions and beliefs here.

[wanderingmind867]

My dad should be more tired than me, but I somehow feel exhausted. My dad let me sleep in until 6 am today, I think. And yet I'm exhausted now, for no good reason.

I feel like there's more to be written, but I don't have any words tonight. Our wall just shook, and that's now leaving me anxious. I have a lot of congestion still, which is frustrating. But I don't have many words for it all.