#my recaps

[ichabodjane]

The Rings of Power S01E05 “Partings”: A Brief Recap Pt 2

[Pt1]  [Pt3]  [Pt4]  [Masterpost]

[pearblossomrain]

returning from the dead for a new point form race recap:

(what the fuck is happening at red bull??)

• actual generational fumble from red bull like a slow pitstop AND your exit lights aren't working? did the ex redbull second seat drivers actually curse the garage? also the hards. why were we on hards PLEASE. (though verstappen did at one point get a fastest lap on them which. what the fuck?)

• so. many. technical failures. brakes not working, dashes potentially coming off, drs button broken, THE ENTIRE BOARD JUST BREAKING??? at this point call a power outage like in testing....

• speaking of the colossal timings fuckup, i checked my app instead and russell's name kept getting restored to p2 and then inexplicably dropping to dead last then this repeated like 10 times 😭😭

• okay onto the actual Racing, INSANE weekend for haas? starting dead last and p14 but finishing p10 and p8 is actually mental. they have a really solid lineup this year tbh and their strategy team is apparently more competent than any top team (cough ferrari cough) 💀

• what the hell was sainz doing holy shit he was going to run everybody off the track? before any fans cry foul, sorry but if multiple drivers are saying you aren't giving them room then you might be the issue. that 3 place grid penalty was stupid though and he's already dnf-ed like. why is the fia kicking a dead horse???

• red bull what the fck 😭 this is some ferrari type of bad luck i'm not gonna lie like the exit lights breaking has probably occurred to the red garage during some tests. verstappen was hopping MAD with the already bad strategy holy shit. if i was christian horny i'd be scared ngl. but also YUKI TSUNODA POINTS!!! cook that second seat curse omg

• alpine points! gasly had an amazing weekend from qualis to checkered flag so now every single team has scored points this season which is nice. seeing ocon and gasly together at some point made me mildly terrified for a french civil war crash which. admittedly would have spiced up the race (which i love) but everyone was really close due to safety car so it would've been Total carnage.

• i only realized after the race that lawson collided into hulkenberg and stroll?? doesn't matter as much with hulk though because he was disqualified due to. skid block issues? geez that sounds familiar (what is up with the skid blocks?)

• confusing weekend for mercedes like on one hand russell finished where he started, getting a podium but his car sounded like it was falling apart. then antonelli got run off track though i don't think it affected him a lot because the strategy was already kind of fcked by the safety car. pity that his points finish streak is ended though 😭

• piastri was horrifically ahead of the entire pack like great for him but that fcking rocketship oh my god this is like the rb20 again. great drive though i can imagine it's really fun to be that far ahead of everyone 💀 honestly thought mclaren would fck up the strat but i remembered they only fumble when the drivers are next to each other. oops? also norris going over the grid box was hilarious when you see the way verstappen clocked it and then IMMEDIATELY tattled on the radio 😭😭 sometimes f1 feels like a bunch of kids trying to get first in a school festival contest.

• ferrari, oh, ferrari. i actually cannot tell if the new floor worked or not? yes they are faster than before (at least with similar pace to merc according to pundits) but car parts are apparently still flying off 😭 great job for hamilton getting up to p5 from p9 though and thank god the strategy wasn't completely fucked due to the well timed safety car. (which benefited nearly everyone, really) also great defending from leclerc to norris but the car is really no match for that rocketship. (which, they should really just admit is a good car. no shame in acknowledging that your car is good and props to the garage as well.)

new meme section for every race recap. this is the entire race for red bull.

there's definitely things i'm missing but tldr; great day for the midfield (just alpine and haas), horrific day for williams, soo close for ferrari, red bull and merc are a mixed bag.

[reachgirl]

My thoughts on 911 3x17 “Powerless”

Gifs are by me.

- Drunk Chimney is the best Chimney, full stop. “SO MUCH BETRAYAL!”, he shouts. They have receipts. They’re mad because they LOVE Teppanyaki. This entire scene of Karen and Chim hanging out is pure gold. “Did you use her finger to unlock the phone while she was sleeping?” We love a fun callback.

- Buck was having a good time this episode. That’s it. That’s the note.

- Say you had a nice dinner planned with Chimney, and you invited your wife. Obviously he would then invite his girlfriend, right? And she might bring her brother, who would bring... Eddie? *checks notes* Yeah, it says right here, he would bring Eddie. *speaks into headset* Yeah sorry, writer’s room? I’m gonna need a check on .. *shuffles paper* “Were we supposed to reveal that Buck and Eddie are dating in 3x17?” Can someone get back to me on this?

- Ok I called Hen becoming a doctor and leaving the 118 last episode, but I’m not happy about it. Especially not if we get a “female firefighter love interest for Buck or Eddie (or worse, both of them, making them rivals) that replaces Hen” out of it. I’m hoping that something big will happen in the finale/ 4x1 that will make her realize she’s right where she’s supposed to be after all.

- Bobby just all around being a great dad, step dad, new husband to your ex wife, captain dad, knower of things, keeper of the calm, destroyer of fireplaces, electrician, buddie stan.

- We 👏 all 👏 deserve 👏 more 👏 Karen. Seriously she is so under-used, I would love more scenes where the whole firefam is together and maybe they’re getting drunk and Karen is there and maybe Buck and Eddie get *real* drunk if ya catch my very obvious drift. 

- (I want Buddie to have a drunk kiss in the hallway and then be awkward about it for a few episodes before they get their shit together)

- Buck.... basically doing parkour to jump in that hot air balloon, looking like a snack? Shouting “I got it”? With that ass? In those pants? YES YOU DO GOT IT BABY. 

- Eddie wondering about Buck’s knowledge of hot air balloon emergencies? Bobby being so proud of his boys? This whole scene gave us so much.

- I’m so happy for Michael maybe getting a new love interest? That doctor can get it. He better not die before any getting can be got. 

- Ok for some reason I was convinced for a second that Abby and Maddie knew each other but they don’t and I’m SO here for the “Eddie and Maddie meet Abby” awkward-athon next episode. 

- They all talk to Frank, but who does Frank talk to?

- This whole episode promo was so misleading, hate when they do that.

- They had LITERAL sparks flying at Buck and Eddie during the tree “murderer” rescue. Now we know they enjoy a good metaphorical water penis but this scene was 👌👌🤡🤡

- Love the Grant family. I wasn’t really ever worried over Athena because they showed that scene of her being beat up but obviously alive, so we knew, but please, WHY does she insist on going into these places by herself? Just wait for some backup, girl, it’s allowed to have backup. You know how Eddie and Buck always work together to support each other? You could use some of that energy, queen. Petition to get Athena a patrol buddie in season 4.

- Ok here’s an addendum: Thank you @bicepsie​ for pointing this out, I went back and checked and it is Eddie who gives Buck the axe when they’re all going to find/help Athena. WE STAN HUSBANDS WHO WORK THIS WELL TOGETHER. Please observe and find a work buddie to help you go into situations like this accordingly, Athena. 

- Can we get a compilation of Buck running into danger shouting “I got this”? I might have to make this gifset.

- May looking beautiful and serving such beautiful vibes. They did such a good job with her I just want to recite “Oh The Places You’ll Go” to her?? I’m so proud of her.

- Karen and Hen are relationship!goals, minus, you know, that whole one time that she cheated thing. 

- Chim and Maddie make me want to be in a relationship so bad. Anyone else have this problem? The way they’re always kind of teasing each other but then supporting each other.. it’s just.. *chokes up*

- We even got some good Josh Russo content in this one. Man we were SPOILED. Josh honey go do whatever feels right for you. I think since we know that the actor is coming back, he’ll probably go and do the impact statement, but I just want him to feel safe and loved and ready to start dating someone who appreciates him.

3x18 Promo thoughts:

- The whole Abby storyline is looking like it will be 🔥 

- Abby is worried about her fiancé, SHE HAS TO FIND HIM. You know, like how Buck had to find Eddie that one time? 

- Eddie doesn’t like Abby (just look at our emotionally unavailable guy being all: what’s happening? sad face) and I will need ALL the fanfiction on the “Eddie’s being a jealous asshole and Buck doesn’t understand why and Eddie also doesn’t understand why because she has a fiancé and also, he’s not into Buck like that what are you talking about” situation

- That scene between Maddie and Chimney really looks like they just found out she’s pregnant, y’all. I can’t wait for Uncle Buck 😍

Also as always PLEASE let me know if you agree/disagree literally I read all comments/tags and I love it when people shout at me in messages 😻

[thelonelybrilliance]

Sassy Recap--OUAT--1x08 "Desperate Souls"

I know, it’s been foREVER.

Our story opens in Fairytale Land, where Rumplestiltskin--man not monster--is spinning, and he has a SON. Said son runs in to tell him that soldiers are taking a neighboring girl to be a soldier for the Ogre Wars. A LIKELY TALE.

Also the captain of the soldiers is played by Benny from Supernatural. HE IS A PERV ON THIS SHOW.

Her parents try to stop the soldiers but a mysterious figure called The Dark One stops them using MAGIC. Rumple watches, terrified, as his son notes that he has a birthday in three days and that means they'll come for him, too. I didn't realize that Medieval press gangs were so respectful of the calendar year.

.

In OUR world, Mr. Gold is smirking behind the counter when Emma comes knocking in asking if he's there.

"Well, it is my shop," he says smarmily, as usual imbuing each word with significance.

The gist of their conversation is this: Graham has been dead for two weeks, and Mr. Gold is oh-so-sorry, and doesn't that mean Emma should be sheriff now? Emma backs away from that REAL FAST, so Gold just offers to give her Graham's personal effects. He finally convinces her to take two walkie-talkies, for Henry, and tells her that her time with her son is precious.

"That's the thing about children...before you know it, you lose them."

There's something in his face that makes Emma's heart (and mine) twist.

Emma joins Henry at his castle. His castle playground is one of my favorite sets off the whole show. Henry tells Emma he wants to give Operation Cobra because then Regina will kill her too, just like she killed Graham.

"Good has to play fair. Evil doesn't." -- Henry's best line so far.

Regina comes to GLOAT because she is a HORRIFIC PERSON. She tells Emma that she's appointing Sydney Glass as Sheriff and then actually has the NERVE to accuse Emma as being irreverent in the wake of Graham's death? UGH.

Emma is PISSED. She goes home and wrecks MM's toaster, of all things, while listening to hard rock and wearing a very cute brown blouse.

MM is actually calm about the toaster, because she's pleased that Emma is committing to Storybrooke. Mom Energy. Mr. Gold clearly has the same thought, because he shows up to convince Emma to RUN FOR SHERIFF.

"Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things. Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more," he says. "How would you like a benefactor?" 

Emma bites.

.

Back in Fairytale Land, Rumplestiltskin and his son, WHOSE NAME IS BAE, CAN WE ACTIVELY NOT, go on the run and then run into ACTUAL BRAD DOURIF, AKA GRIMA WORMTONGUE, who asks them for spare change.

They are almost immediately tracked down by the wicked child-snatching soldiers, who jeer at Rumple's lame foot. OF COURSE Bae has to run his mouth, which leads the captain of the guard to reveal that Rumplestiltskin is "the man who ran," specifically, from the ogre wars, and came home to a wife who couldn't bear to look at him.

BAE (full name: Baelfire) IS SUCH AN IDIOT. HE LITERALLY TELLS THEM HOW OLD HE IS; WTF.

NOW THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE HIM.

Rumple asks what he can do to save his son and the Captain asks him to kiss his boot and DAMN this dude is going to have it coming when Rumple turns into the Dark One.

Speaking of *spoilers*

BRAD DOURIF is back, offering a helping hand. 

Rumple tells him he has nothing to pay, and Brad Dourif says that's fine, "I'll be your benefactor."

UH OH.

.

Regina gives the most freaking ANNOYING town speeches. She is SO. SMUG.

Emma CRASHES her little appointment ceremony in a great way and faces off against Sidney for THE GREAT ELECTION. Watch out, Tracy Flick.

Back in FTL, Brad Dourif and Rumples are eating gross soup and talking about choices. Brad Dourif tells Rumple that all his problems will go away if he gets power. He needs to steal the Dark One's dagger, inscribed with the Dark One's true name, and THEN ALL WILL BE WELL. 

Rumple is too afraid to think of controlling such power so Brad Dourif suggests he JUST STRETCH OUT HIS HAND AND TAKE IT

Sounds hella promising, my man.

In SB, Regina is PISSED. She arrives at Gold's shop--he's looking awfully snazzy today--and he asks if he should "move some things, and make a bit of space for her rage." Sometimes I think they give him all the good lines.

Regina's S1 bob was arguably her best hairstyle. Just like Gold's S1 characterization is arguably his best--you know what, I'm going to try not to be salty. 

Some things stay the same, though: Regina is a bish.

woww I missed Emma's bouncy golden curls and beautiful jacket. She's come to Granny's Diner to learn that--

SYDNEY GLASS HAS STOLEN RECORDS ABOUT EMMA HAVING HENRY IN JAIL AND PRINTED THEM ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE STORYBROOKE PAPER, A FACT HENRY INFORMS HER OF--

The illegality. I'm shook.

.

In fairytale land, Rumple is on a TRIP about power and what he could do as the Dark One. Bae, the terrible child actor, must learn that his father wants power, smashed his own knee to avoid fighting in the Ogre war, and that his mother...maybe did run off out of shame and isn't *dead*

Don't worry about that, Rumple assures him. We've bigger fish to fry. Literally. We're going to steal the Dark One dagger from the Duke's castle and all will be ... well.

*eyes emoji*

.

Emma confronts Regina in the mayor's office about the records, and Regina spits off this line: "I'm sorry you didn't want people to know you cut his cord with a shiv"

I'm sorry this is a PG-rated show??

They snipe back and forth about the upcoming Sheriff's Debate (timely, I say, 9 years later) and then there's an EXPLOSION. SOMEOnE is playing dirty politics.

Emma helps Regina out of the burning building, Like a Hero, andd Regina is mad about being saved. It's hard being evil and wearing impractical shoes; when the chips are down you might have to hobble along leaning on your enemy. Lessons learned.

Of course, adulation floods in for Emma. "This is how good wins," she tells Henry, though we the audience are uncomfortably reflecting on the fact that her new ally Mr. Gold once set fire to a castle (probably more than one!) in Fairytale Land, just to gain a political Point.

It doesn't take Emma long to draw that connection either, even without the benefit of meaningful flashbacks. A twist of rag soaked in the same sheep oil she saw Mr. Gold using is all it takes. Off she pops to his shop, where he plays the plausible deniability card to the, ahem, HILT, and Emma realizes that she really did make an unfortunate alliance.

.

Speaking of unfortunate alliances, Rumple did it! He got the dagger. It says Zoso on it. Such an uncool name for a dark one. He summons Zoso, who shows up in a dark cloak, so intimidating, except that he says "It's your son's birthday tomorrow" and the word "birthday" sounds very ridiculous in a dark and villainous tone. Rumple kills him, as Brad Dourif told him to, and SURPRISE! The Dark One IS Brad Dourif. Grima Wormtongue strikes again. The twist? The person who kills the Dark One...becomes the Dark One.

But that's something we likely could have guessed.

"WHy me?" demands Rumple.

And Zoso answers-- "Because I know how to recognize a desperate soul."

I will give it to me old show. The moment Rumple's name appears in full on the dagger is one for the...storybook.

.

We're onto the climactic debate. Outside the town hall, the people are gathering. Mary Margaret, for one, always has the cutest little vintage hats. Perfect timing, given that she's running into David the Former Invalid, who is putting up posters for the opposition. She scurries away from THAT encounter, stepping into a position of greater moral clarity and strength--namely, assuring Emma that it's worthwhile to have ambitions both for herself and Henry.

Emma, seeing Mr. Gold in the crowd, is not so sure.

Archie is trying to moderate the debate--all his jokes bring in "crickets," heh. Sidney Glass' opening statement is melodramatic and Regina literally is mouthing along word for word. Emma's opening statement is just plain dramatic. She reveals the whole plot by Gold, in front of the town, and apologizes for being complicit in any way. Good news girl! You look cute as hell in your olive dress and Big Leather Jacket.

And the real win? Henry is proud of her for standing up to Gold, reinstates Operation Cobra, and hands her a walkie-talkie.

And the OTHER real win? She got voted in as sheriff. Regina and Sidney come to give way with passive aggressive compliments and pursed lips.

"You didn't pick a great friend in Mr. Gold," Regina smarms. "But he does make a superlative enemy."

.

AND OH DOESN'T HE. Back in Fairytale Land, Benny the pervy knight is Getting His at the hands Dark!Rumple. Bae watches the carnage unfold while repeatedly, meekly calling "Papa" and not doing much else with his face or voice.

Chills for the Rise of Rumplestiltskin, though. And chills for the subtle menace of Mr. Gold.  He comes to visit Emma in a magenta shirt and a tri-point pocket square. He reveals that Emma acted exactly according to plan.

He knew that she didn't need to just save Regina, she needed to stand up to HIM.

"I know how to recognize a desperate soul," he says, and I Do! Get! a Legit! Shiver!

Emma, and the rest of us, have reason to dread his future called-in favor.

[tippitv]

RECAP: Supernatural 15.03 “The Rupture”

Watching episode three and I finally understand the warding logistics better now. Note that just because I understand it better doesn’t mean I think it makes any kind of sense.

So it seems the “mile wide salt circle” encompasses both the town and the cemetery. Like the entire town and entire cemetery and the space in between them is somehow less than a mile wide as seen in the shitty map I made in MS paint last week.  

This is poppycock of course. It’s also bizarre that somehow all these demons and ghosts didn’t manage to spread any further out than that in the hours in took the Winchesters et al to evacuate the town and for Belphegor to perform the spell.

I’m so distracted by this that it’s hard for me to suspend my disbelief.

Rowena tries to reinforce the warding but there are too many ghosts attacking it. More ghosts keep spewing out of the ground. I think it’s weird that Hell is an actual physical place somewhere under the Earth’s crust while Heaven seems to be some kind of otherworldly dimension that looks like an Apple store.

Rowena’s feeling very defeated. Ruth Connell is doing a much better job than the crummy ghosts we've seen so far would seem to warrant. Her acting makes them seem scary and the situation desperate, whereas the writing for the actual ghost characters is...meh. Dean wants to go fight the ghosts but like… there’s really nothing to be done. Shooting them with iron or rock salt only works for a few minutes at most. To make any dent, you'd need all the salt in the Hannibal fandom after NBC canceled it. Shout out to my Fannibals!

I still think somebody needs to be thinking about contacting Billie. Reapers take souls to their great reward or their eternal punishment, I feel like they’d have some useful input. Plus I just want to see Billie again because Lisa Berry is dreamy.

Also Belphegor is such a weaselly jerk about the whole thing. I won't miss that guy. He's the Martin Shkrelli of demons. Shout out to everyone who hates jacked up pharmaceutical prices!

Sam says they're out of ideas. That's because y'all haven't sat around reading books out loud to each other for half an episode! 

Jack mentions something called "Lilith's Crook." Ah, Martin Shkrelli again. He has to explain it's that curved stick thing shepherds use while everyone is being ignorant. "Thing's actually more of a horn," he says. She designed it to control demons on Earth while she was in Hell. You'd think that kind of thing would've come up when Lilith was topside but no! Also there really should've been a call back to that. "You know Lilith... you killed her to let Lucifer out?" That kind of thing.

They work out a plan for Belph to summon the demons and ghosts back to Hell and the Rowena can heal the big spewing fistula in the earth. She wants Sam to assist her, which makes me

Dean coolly volunteers Castiel to accompany Belph. "You've been to Hell before." Cas should've been like, "Yeah to grip your ass tight and raise it from Perdition!" Also how's he supposed to get out again?

Aw jeez here's Ketch in his hospital room. I hope the only reason he's in this episode is to die. The nurse doesn't want to clear him for discharge so a pretty doctor walks in and kills her with a telekinetic neck snap. And that's why we have a nursing shortage in this country! Oh the doctor is Ardat, the demon who hired Ketch to kill Belph.

Fisticuffs ensue even though she could just pin him in place with demonic power. When he refuses to give up the Winchesters, she rips out his heart and shows it to him. He Pikachu faces at her.

I mean, did she really need to ask him? Wouldn't the most likely place be the mile-wide anti-ghost dome? She texts Dean pretending to be Ketch.

Belphegor goads Castiel about his friends sacrificing him, so Cas pushes him down into the ghost fistula. Lol. It doesn't shut him up for long, though. As they wander around Hell, Belph continues to sow the seeds of doubt. Anyway, opening the chest that contains the Doohickey of the Week requires Castiel to sing an Enochian song of praise, but we cut away on the third note. BOO.

Also, having now met Lucifer the whiny petulant manbaby, it's really hard to understand why Lilith or anyone would be so devout for so long. Maybe it's because he was locked in the cage so they didn't actually experience a lot of his pouting. It's all I can think of.

Before Castiel can hand over the Doohickey, Ardat knocks him out of the way. She looks like Joanna Gaines. Maybe she IS Joanna Gaines!

Castiel and Ardat fight. She tries to warn him about Belphegor, but he pops up behind her and kills her with Cas's fallen angel blade. Now we'll never know what she was gonna say! I bet he ends up just blabbing it out himself in the time-honored tradition of villains talking too much.

Indeed, he goes on about how the crook/horn is actually a leash/siphon. This thing is the Swiss Army knife of Doohickeys. He's going to blow the horn and suck all the demons and ghosts into himself to gain their powers. "I'll be a god!"

So while Belph is blowing and sucking, Sam and Rowena and Dean are dirtside working the spell. Ghosts are zooming back down the hole like the Indiana Jones Ark of the Covenant scene in reverse. Castiel tackles Belph and punches him in the face a lot which seems like the equivalent of flicking a dandelion at a law mower to stop it.

Improbably, it hurts jazzed-up Belphegor enough that he pretends to be Jack again to get Cas to stop beating him. Castiel screws up all his angel power and somehow kills him even though there's a buttload of evil spirits in him. Jack's empty body burns like a Thanksgiving turkey left on broil all day.

The ground starts sealing up but something's wrong. Rowena uses a knife to gouge out a "resurrection sachet" she's been keeping buried under her skin. It's why she came back after Lucifer killed her, if you'll recall. It takes Sam a minute to catch on that she intends to sacrifice herself in one final spell. He has to be the one to kill her because prophecy and she can't bring herself to to it for a lot of good reasons.

Now, I don't understand here. She says she's going to absorb all the demons and ghosts, throw herself into Hell, and they'll be trapped. But... didn't Belphegor absorb them? Or a lot of them? I hate that Ruth is doing such a great job and this just feels like forced drama.

Speaking of forced drama. Castiel returns to the surface and tells Dean he killed Belphegor. This could be cleared up with a five second explanation but he makes a lot of pained faces while Dean berates him for ruining their one chance. Forced drama.

Sam reluctantly stabs her in the lower belly... you know, in the uterus area... and she becomes a vessel... with her uterus absorbing all the evil...

"Goodbye boys," she says as she Last of the Mohicans throws herself into the abyss.

Well, it's better than Charlie's death but I still don't like it.

All the surviving team members return to the bunker for the denouement. Sam is taking things pretty hard, which is to be expected, so Dean goes to check on him. "God threw one last apocalypse at us and we beat it," he says to baby bro. Oh honey.

Anyway we're all pretty sure Rowena's going to be running Hell now, right? RIGHT??

Now we come to the part where Dean and Castiel act out a bad soap opera scene. It's just a thin reason to get them to break up for a while. Maybe in the final season they couldn't work Misha into the budget for every episode or maybe the writers couldn't think of more for Castiel to do. So he's gotta go off and it couldn't just be because "you know my surrogate son just died and I need time." 

No it's gotta be all "you always screw up our plans!" and "you don't trust me!" and "are you hearing that romantically sad cello music or is it just me?" and "it's not just you but now I must leave GOOD BYE!"

Onward and upward, readers! Stay tuned for the next recap.

In the meantime, please reblog if you enjoyed this recap and drop by my Ko-Fi tip Jar if you're able. Henry Hound and I are perpetually trying to make ends meet and appreciate your help!

https://ko-fi.com/A4017DA

[ozgeburcaka]

Aladdin (2019) Recap - Özge's World

The movie opens with Will Smith telling and singing his kids the story of Aladdin. As the opening song ends, we see images of people, various pets and end up with an evil-fabulous looking man, who’s sacrificing people to some talking cave. Okay, the magic cave says “diamond in the rough”. We’re looking for a...

[the-restisconfetti]

the 100 meets interpretation of recap

[arihi]

NEEHU 9 Recap: Checking In

In the months leading up to NEEHU, my messages to people got increasingly frantic and worried and nervous, unnecessarily so (since surely, I had attended it last year, and nothing went horrendously wrong). To @fallinginward in particular, I expressed worry that I’d be boring to hang out with and somehow disappointing, so I sent quite a few messages trying to lower their ‘expectations’ (which I know both in retrospect and at the time, that it was silly and I was being illogical, but the mind does what it does). It was pretty obvious I was nervous, excited but nervous. They reassured me that everything would be alright, and that I was worrying about nothing, that I would be calm around them and everything would be fine.

Right as we first saw each other at NEEHU, and I was being my usual over-excited self and asking people to choose between octopi and bunnies and gold stars*, @fallinginward pulled me to the side for a brief moment and reminded me that I could be calm around them. To take a deep breath, to slow down, and to pace my energy throughout the coming days. I took a deep breath and nodded.

Later, as I was hurriedly pulling my shirt on and grabbing my bag and running down to a friend’s room to carpool to the Society, knowing I was making them late for a class they wanted to attend, I told them that I was turning right into the hallway as I tapped my foot impatiently in the elevator, and dashed out as soon as the doors opened. The door opened right as I got there, and I apologized and apologized and made vague gestures indicating ‘Let’s go, let’s go!’ as I caught my breath. @fallinginward (again) did their best to calm me down, to push down my frantic gesturing - to which I resisted, just a bit. As we were all heading down to the lobby, they walked slightly ahead with me and asked me quietly if something was the matter, since they had met with resistance at the time. “Were you not comfortable with me doing that in public? Was it the people? I need to know if something’s the matter, because that was the first time you resisted and I want to make sure it’s okay.” I nodded (nodnodnodded, a bit too fast, as anyone who’s ever seen me in person can surely imagine) and said that I just didn’t want to delay them even more by making a big deal of calming down. They noted that I seemed overstimmed and basically slowed me on the drive there**. By the time we got to the venue, I was calm again.

Of course, the venue for NEEHU was the Society, which I’m sure many posts have touched upon. Basically, it can feel like a small space, a loud, bustling, busy space, a slightly overwhelming space. I knew this ahead of time and also knew that it’d probably take its toll on me over the weekend. As I sat on a couch in the lounge, leaning slightly against @fallinginward, I felt calm.

Later in the weekend, we experimented a bit with face slapping. I had been slapped a few times before, and with @fallinginward it was the shock and sudden rapt attention that was the goal. In the midst of a scene in our room, they pulled me in close and whispered to me. The face slapping was good at getting my attention, but I had started to flinch in anticipation and it worried them. Those who know me know I’m a jittery-jerky person who is too easily startled by loud noises (and loud voices), strange sounds in the walls, doors closing, you name it - so it was no surprise I had started to flinch not so much in fear, or in pain, but in anticipation. They weren’t fully comfortable with seeing me flinch like that - I’m supposed to be calm around them, after all - and we agreed that face slapping would be put on pause.

It was so fluid and natural to pull me in and check in with me in the middle of the scene, and over the course of the weekend we checked in with each other frequently about comfort levels and feelings. I appreciated it greatly. It was never ‘out of character’ or disrupting the ‘mood’ or any of that, but just a natural part of the weekend that contributed greatly to my comfort during the con, especially with how chaotic and hectic the Society can feel. For that, I am grateful.

As with my last post, I guess this time around I’m interested in writing about things over the weekend that meant a lot to me - the post was originally going to be a lot shorter and just talk about general check-ins, but then I realized how much being calm around @fallinginward really did help, especially in a high-tension environment like the venue. Just like the tie post! We checked in so often you guys, you have no idea. One person would check-in, which would prompt the other to check-in, and it’d just be like 3 minutes of devolving into ‘okay but are you okay with--’ and we’d just worry about one another. Since I was constantly worried that I was either going to be boring and non-communicative, or worried that I was going to be TOO overbearing and clingy, they were really helpful in reassuring me that I was doing alright.

*I had goodies in my bag and would ask the question with absolutely no context to the slight confusion of others. It was great.

**This was not a thing I noticed in myself, nor was it a word I was used to hear in reference to myself - but when certain reactions were pointed out to me, I started to see the similarities and potential truth behind the matter. Perhaps this is a word I should look more closely at as I observe my day-to-day behaviors.