#peter would

[incorrectpeterparker]

Reporter: Spider-Man, can I interview you?

Peter: Sure!

Reporter: What has been your biggest support as a superhero?

Peter: Well, my arms have always been by my side

Reporter:

Peter: I can always count on my fingers

Reporter:

Peter: My legs have always supported me, and of course my hips don’t lie

Reporter: Uh, okay, thank you...

[funnyincorrectmcu]

Peter: *practically bleeding out* Who knew yelling “distraction! Look at me!” would actually work! Tony: *tending his wounds* For fuck’s sake, Peter, you weren’t even dressed as Spider-Man!

[project-feive]

Sam: Stop trying to marry my ex-wife!

Peter: You know what? I'm gonna try to marry her even harder now.

[p1nkwitch]

Peter: it's a little bit muggy today

Elias: if all our mugs are outside I'm divorcing you right now.

Peter: (takes a sip from a bowl)

[astarryon]

The Avengers as John Mulaney Jokes (5/?)

[adharafirenze]

Sorry but some Good Omens fans make me wanna kill everyone why are they so annoying. I don’t get it.also i hate Neil Gaiman

You’re so real for that 🙏🙏 I wish Neil Gaiman would turn into a fish and get eaten by Peter Murphy 🙏🙏🙏

[randomyhoughts]

Ok but like imagine what you could do with an AI like JARVIS. Someone could walk into the bathroom and attack mode could turn on, then jarvis would be like state your business and they'd have to answer before they could go to the bathroom.

[xannerz]

obsessed with this