ranpo x lawyer!reader!! she's an office siren type.. they're like enemies (one sided ig ranpos a loser bro) to lovers type!! ranpo gets jealous when she talks with poe/mushitaro more than him!!
── ⟡ LAW AND DEDUCTIONS .ᐟ.ᐟ
Ranpo with lawyer!reader headcanons+drabbles ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆
⋮⋮ hi anon! so sorry for the long wait, I hope you don't mind. But you did send this when my inbox was currently closed so it was bound to take long anyways. I tried to get to work with this request as much as I can, I promise! Anyways, tysm for this lovely req! I remember reading a wattpad story similar to it (reader was a prosecuter), a shame its discontinued… This was so fun to do! I love ranpo sm so. I randomly locked in at the start and just fell off as i went on my bad :(
⋮⋮ word count: 1.5k
⋮⋮ warnings: one-sided rivalry, (not so) one-sided crush, jealousy, assassination and murder case mentioned, enemies to lovers-ish, do they end up together? no one knows… (they do) ₊ ⊹
Ranpo with lawyer!reader whom he meets shortly after solving a case—or rather, after solving a case that refuses to stay finished. He knows exactly who the perpetrator is. He knows how they did it, why they did it, and where the evidence can be found. The Great Detective had solved such a difficult case in no more than a days time, and as he had always done; he told the police exactly where the necessary evidence would be found. Alas, the police hadn't—they never did bother to unearth the evidence against the perpetrator.
Whether through carelessness or sheer incompetence, the one piece of evidence needed to prove the perpetrator's guilt in court was left untouched as though it held but little significance. What seemed to be, at a glance, a smooth mystery solved became much more complicated. As the lawyer handling this case, you quickly realize that the outcome of this peculiar case rests its weight unto the deductions of a singular man. You seek him out in hopes of finally proving the suspect guilty.
The placid tranquility of the Agency suffered intrusion beneath the reverberating cadence of heels unto polished tiles. Indeed, they announced the presence of their owner long before a voice could ever hope of achieving the same—the clacking of heels alone announced your presence with remarkable confidence. You navigated through halls until you had arrived before a door dark as ebony. And upon your crossing of its threshold, the office itself appeared to falter as though in the face of a presence not asked for, yet still, a presence they can not ignore.
You perceived him immediately, right where people said he would be. The clacking of heels had halted only when you stood before the renowned Great Detective. "Ranpo Edogawa, yes? The detective who had handled the assassination of Ryuuki Uematsu? If so, then I need to talk with you."
Ranpo gave you a scathing glance from where he reclined languidly within his chair, possessing all the ease of a monarch upon his throne. Upon his lap rested an opened bag of chips, whilst at the corners of his mouth lingered the unmistakable evidence of his indulgence.
"Yepp, that's me! The Greatest Detective!" said he with a grin. "If you're here to ask for an autograph, you'll have to come back later—I'm a little busy right now."
Yet you remained composed—so remarkably, so infuriatingly composed—that Ranpo found himself dissatisfied by the sight of it. "I'm not here for an autograph."
"Oh?" he said, dragging the word out. "Then what do you want? And who are you in the first place?!"
You stepped forward, and lay a file unto his desk. Ranpo spared it only the briefest of glances, yet it was in his ability to tell that the documents inside are highlighted, and organized to the pinnacle.
"The lawyer of the case you 'solved'. And I'm here to tell you that the police failed to secure the evidence needed to prove the defendant guilty in court."
"Yeah? Well then shouldn't you have just went to the police?" said he, soon thereafter his face showed his own doubt to what he said. "No, wait! I get it!" he suddenly declared, pointing a finger like he'd cracked a second case. "The entire police force is useless. They couldn't even keep up with my deductions, so of course they messed it up. Honestly, what a waste of time."
"None of my concern. What's my concern is the evidence in which you will help me find."
"Hahhh? No way!" he proclaimed with manner akin to a child denying a chore, wearing a pout upon his countenance and crossing his arms. "I already solved the mystery to the murder therefore I am done with the case entirely! Getting evidence isn't something the Greatest Detective should be doing, don't be silly."
Ranpo insists the culprit's guilt is obvious.
You insist that "obvious" is not admissible evidence, neither is his word.
Ranpo with lawyer!reader whom he ended up helping anyways. And through multiple meetings and consultations—what bothered him the most is your lack of appreciation for his skill. Not that he cared for your praise and acknowledgement in the first place, surely not. It was just the standard for commissioning the time of the Greatest detective in the country! So dare to answer his concerns of why after leading you directly to the evidence the police somehow failed to recover, not even a "Splendid work, Ranpo" came out of your lips? Thus, instead, you had paltrily written something down in your file, and moved on with the signature clack of heels trailing behind your presence.
It became a recurring problem. You became a repeated problem in his life thereafter. Wherein, amid situations, that Ranpo had provided a deduction to a case—you ask for tons of clarification and physical proof. Although, truth be told, you wholeheartedly saw Ranpo's intelligence as something deserving respect. Never had you doubted his deductions. Never had you challenged his conclusions. You simply wished to do your job properly, and that is to secure documentation. Actual stuff that may be used in court.
You never gave Ranpo any praise for why would one praise the sun for rising? He remained yearning for your praise, nevertheless. By that point, Ranpo no longer wanted praise from everyone. He had already possessed such a thing too easy to claim. Yours remained difficult to hear and thus the great detective deemed it valuable. Hearing genuine approval from you became one of his favorite things, precisely because you never gave it lightly.
"Nice work, detective.", said you.
"That's really all?"
"Well, what would you have preferred? A medal?"
"For one, you can start by telling me how there's no one better than me in what I do, and then—"
“I'd rather not. Thanks.”
Ranpo with lawyer!reader who can keep up with him. It was in your ability to comprehend what he's deducing and start discussing the legal implications. Wherein most would require explanations, you ask him for details. You become one of the only people capable of interrupting his deductions without completely derailing them.
"It's obviously because they had entered through the—"
"Would that constitute unlawful entry?", said you while nursing a pen and a small notebook within your hands.
"I don't like wasting my time on such boring things, but yes. It would be."
"Noted. Please do continue."
"Only if you won't interrupt me again, of course."
Ranpo with lawyer!reader who he declared his rival.
"(Y/n)! Accompany me on this investigation!"
"Literally why?"
"Why? Because we're rivals, duh!"
"We're what?"
Ranpo with lawyer!reader starts treating your office as though it is but an extension of the Agency. Permission be damned, he will simply be there uninvited cradling numerous bags of chips to last the day. He develops the habit of sitting onto the chair opposite to your desk.
"Ranpo, why are you here?"
"I was bored! Atsushi refused to perform circus tricks for me."
"That's not an excuse to disrupt my work here."
"I'm not that disruptive!."
Ranpo with lawyer!reader memorizes your schedule disturbingly fast, through observation. For whatever reason, he is aware of when court starts; he is aware of afternoons wherein you had skipped lunch; he is aware when you've been working long enough without a break.
"You do know coffee isn't something to be called lunch, right?" said he.
"I don't have the time for a full meal right now."
"Yes, you do! Your next court hearing isn't until three hours from now!"
"How do you even know that?"
"Ultra Deduction, of course."
Ranpo with lawyer!reader whom appears to be put together by the hand of god, seemingly at all times. Your whole wardrobe consists of perfectly tailored suits, and heels sharp enough to pierce—never a hair out of place. Never does it halt there. Your files are immaculate as well, organized, tabbed, and highlighted. While everyone else is scrambling for missing documents, you're already pulling the exact page from a perfectly indexed file.
"Organize my snack cabinet, will you?"
"No, Ranpo."
"Not even if I say by—"
"No, Ranpo."
"Hmph, fine."
Ranpo with lawyer!reader who dares to ignore him by spending more time with Poe. He would never admit paying attention to the time you spend with him, he simply happens to observe that you've spent thirty-seven minutes talking to Poe about novel manuscripts. He will be all pouty until you pay attention to him solely. It's neither possessiveness nor jealousy, it is simply entitlement. He had grown so accustomed to your attention that when somebody else has it for too long—he gets annoyed, deeply annoyed. Why are you talking to them? He's right here.
"Remind me again why he's still here?"
"We're talking about his latest published work, it's amazing."
"Oh, you flatter me, Ms. (Y/n)."
“Boringgg! Talk to me instead.”
Ranpo with lawyer!reader who he never stopped treating as a rival. Never had he stopped challenging you, he merely fell in love in the middle of it. A conclusion in which he came to—when another banter was ongoing forth, and he thought of how pretty your smile looked in the moment. The transition is jarring.
"Are you even paying attention, detective?"
"Well, how could I when you look like that?"
"W-what?"
Case Closed. All credits go to @reasaph. Do not plagiarize, translate, or copy my works.
content: pre-relationship bed sharing, flirty/mildly sexual implications
It's truly unfortunate that, while on a mission for the Agency, you have to share a bed with DAZAI — or so you think, at least. He doesn't share the sentiment in the slightest, instead smiling as innocently as possible the moment his gaze falls onto the single bed in the hotel room booked for the night. While he pretends to offer you the bed, he'll guilt-trip you about the couch being way too short for his long legs and about his back already aching until, eventually, you give in and share it with him.
Naturally, he gets into your space more than necessary at night, pretending he's asleep while cuddling close to you, given how, then, you can't cuss him out for wrapping an arm around your waist and burying his face in your neck, breath warm against your throat. It's worse that he knows if you won't get any amount of sleep whatsoever, much too busy with fighting off arousal while he's pressed flush against your back.
“Hm? No, it's alright. I don't mind taking the couch. What kind of man would I be if I let you sleep on there? Still, it's just — it's way too short and hard. Couches this uncomfortable shouldn't exist, really. I doubt I'll be able to get even a wink of sleep tonight, what a shame.”
When there turns out to only be one bed in the hotel room you're supposed to stay in for the night, CHŪYA doesn't even hesitate before offering you the bed, immediately going for the couch instead. He won't accept any protests either; no matter whether you're worried about his comfort or just think it's polite to refuse his offer, he won't allow you to spend the night on a sofa. He's not making a huge deal out of it and, if you keep being annoying about it, he gets more and more exhausted by the minute.
Eventually, he might give in to the idea of sharing the bed. He has no trouble keeping to himself — or so he believes, because, once he's actually asleep, softly snoring into your ear, he's moving wildly, one leg eventually thrown over your body, arms stretched out. If you mention it to him in the morning, his cheeks flush soft pink.
“Hm? The fuck you mean, you'll be taking the sofa? Definitely not. I'm already here — and I don't mind. Go lie down and get some sleep. We've got a busy day tomorrow.”
RANPO, the very moment he steps foot into the room, decides he wants the bed to himself. The idea of taking the couch doesn't even cross his mind; instead, he makes his way over to the bed all too quickly, though, when you end up either glaring at him or asking him to share, he just shrugs.
Really, he doesn't make too big of a deal out of sharing a bed, not even seeming a little nervous at the idea of lying down beside you for hours on end. Meanwhile, at night, he cuddles up close to you — actually asleep, unlike a certain someone —, arms wrapped around you, for once completely unaware of you being all flustered because of him. In the morning, it'll be like nothing happened, even though you can't quite stop thinking about
“What are you looking at me like that for? I said we can share. If you're hoping to have it for yourself, tough luck. I was here first, just saying. Just get in or move to the couch already, I'm tired.”
All of FYODOR'S decisions are based on logic; this one is no exception. If the bed is large enough to fit two people, it's large enough for the two of you to share — though, if you feel like taking the couch instead, he won't protest. That's your decision to make, after all.
While actually sharing the bed with him, it's basically like you're alone in there, anyway. He doesn't move when asleep, doesn't make a sound; it's all too easy to imagine he's not even there, even though, occasionally, a dark strand of hair might brush against your face. What you don't know, however, is that he, at night, while you're fast asleep, he takes the time to watch you up close, lilac eyes tracing over every plane of your face.
“I do not mind sharing the bed with you. I hope you feel similarly. We both are adults, are we not? I doubt this will be an issue. Just lie down.”
NIKOLAI is undoubtedly amused by the idea of sharing a bed with you. He doesn't waste a single thought towards either of you taking the sofa instead; nonsense, just why would you do that? There's a perfectly fine bed right there, and surely both of you are mature enough to share one without any issues, right? Wrong.
He makes a point of being as obnoxious as possible, cuddling close to you the very second you lie down. It doesn't help that he's both tall and strong, his arms closed around your waist so you can't even try to get away or up, and he makes a point of whining whenever you attempt to squirm away. It's going to be a long night.
“What's the matter? Why are you moving so much? Stop it, I won't be able to fall asleep this way. Or — ah, are you trying to rile me up on purpose? That's naughty of you, sweetheart.”
SIGMA immediately makes a beeline for the couch the second he notices the dilemma of having a double bed rather than two separate ones booked. He won't even discuss the topic with you; he doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable or forced to sleep on a sofa, so he'll do it instead. There's no whining or guilt tripping from his end; he simply accepts his fate for the night. There's worse things to endure.
If you're incredibly serious about convincing him, however, he might just give in, even though his cheeks feel a little warmer than usual when he lies down next to you, making sure there's an appropriate amount of distance between the two of you. If there's anything he doesn't want, it's you thinking he's trying to be creepy after you've decided to trust him — he probably ends up barely getting any sleep, just because he's worried about accidentally getting too close to you.
“Are you sure you're alright with this? I really don't mind spending the night on the sofa instead. ... Well, if you're sure — thank you.”
No smut, heavy on dialogue. These are goofy!! One part only.
Akutagawa
That gif is the horny taking over his body.
"Akutagawa."
"Hm?"
"I'm horny."
He looks up at you, face somewhere between horror-stricken and confused.
"Why would you say such a thing to me?"
"Obviously because I want you to do something about it."
"What?"
"I said--"
"--No, no, I heard you the first time."
"So?"
"So what?"
"Sooo, do you want to have sex, orrr?"
Akutagawa stares blankly at something nearby for a solid minute, completely silent, and then stands up abruptly.
"Yes. Let's go to a love hotel."
Dazai
"Dazaaaaai. I'm horny," you whine, an over-exaggerated pout on your face.
"Ohh? Shall I help you take care of that?" He purrs, exaggeratedly flirting. "I'll treat you reaaaal nice." He winks, ready for you to say something like "ew no, freak" and laugh it off like usual. Except...
"God, yes. I was gonna ask."
"Huh?" He short-circuits. He pauses, trying to figure out if you're fucking with him or not. Usually you'd start laughing after two or three seconds, but you're standing up and walking toward him--
"Holy shit. Oh my god, you're serious?!" He jumps up from his chair, eyes lighting up, and horny stirring in his pants. "If you're joking you have to tell me right now."
"Why don't you come with me to the broom closet and see if I'm joking?"
"This is the greatest day of my life," he says as you pull him along.
Nikolai
"I'm really horny, so you're gonna have to stop looking so hot or I'm gonna have to leave."
The grin he already wore spread wider across his face.
"Is that so?"
He summons and portal and in the blink of an eye is crowding you in your space, laying a hand on your thigh, breathing on your neck.
"What's doing it for you, dovey? Is it the beautiful, luscious hair? My devilishly handsome smile?"
"It's those fucking thunder thighs in the striped pants is what it is," you huff, trying to push him back, but he takes your hands and moves your arms to be around his shoulders.
"I can keep them on while I fuck you," he says lowly into your ear. "Would you like that?"
You pull him against you.
"Put your money where your mouth is, Nikolai."
Poe
"Poe, I'm having a really nice time hanging out with you and all, but I have to be honest: I'm really horny, so I probably need to go home before I start trying to fuck you."
He is so flustered that he can't even form a sentence. What you can see of his face is beet red, and he scrambles for the door. You think he's going to open it and usher you out, but he presses his back against it, blocking your exit.
"No," he finally says, "Don't leave."
"Poe, you're in the danger zone. If I don't relieve some tension I'm gonna get really grouchy."
"I can help," he stutters out.
"Huh?"
He starts trying to apologize, but you laugh and cross the room to him.
"I didn't expect you to be into it," you admit. "I definitely said it to get your attention, but I thought you'd say no."
"Then I have not made my feelings known enough."
Atsushi
"Can I ask you a stupid question?"
"Sure!" Atsushi responds enthusiastically. Your head is laying in his lap and you're staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Do you ever get horny when you hang out with your friends?"
"Uhh, I don't think that's something that happens with your friends," he says, and you turn to look up at him.
"It doesn't? Like, you've never gotten horny while spending time with me?"
"Uhh..." His face slowly starts turning red.
"I've gotten horny hanging out with you. I'm kind of horny right now, honestly."
"UMMMMM..........."
"So you're saying that right now my face being near your dick isn't turning you on?"
"I wouldn't say that..."
"I sure hope you wouldn't because I think I can literally feel you getting hard against my skull. Do you wanna stop talking and start making out now?"
Ranpo
"I'm horny."
"I know."
"What? How do you know?"
"You keep squirming in your seat, you're trying to arch your back when you lean your elbow on the table, and you keep biting your lip when you think I'm not looking at you."
"But you must be looking at me because you noticed all of that. But I haven't seen your eyes on me."
"I'm watching you from the corner of my eye like I usually do."
"Oh? And why would you be watching me, Ranpo?"
"Because I like to?" he says like it's obvious.
"Do you have a little crush on me, Ranpo?"
"Wouldn't you like to know. If only you have my super deduction you'd know."
"I don't think I need super deduction to know. I think I can figure it out in one question."
"Oh? Try me."
"When are you going to fuck me?"
He tries to bite back a smile but he can't. He finally looks directly at you, and it tells you everything you need to know.
if you’re still accepting requests then maybe u could write something abt love languages for dazai and ranpo (and anyone else you may want of course!)
i’ve never sent a request to anyone before but i love the way you write the bsd characters! i was just thinking about them with readers that are partial to some love languages. for example, if they were with a reader who’s love language is gift giving and they prefer to give handmade gifts. oooo i’m thinking thoughts. reader…..who packs them lunch…..leaves them cute sticky notes…. doodles them together. i’m just saying stuff at this point but ya ! just love the way you write! <3
oooooo, i love thinking about characters' love languages! i was thinking of doing smth like this after completing the characters as your lover posts but i'll do ranpo and dazai here!! as a gifts giver myself, this one's gonna be fun hehehe
i'll talk about two types of love languages for the characters because i believe, since humans are complicated beings, we show and receive affection and love in different ways and putting a label on only one just isn't really realistic. one primary, and one secondary love language.
my personal ones (for showing love) are: primary - physical affection; secondary - gifts giving; i think they both have about the same weight, but i tend to be a bit more physically affectionate.
edit: i just realized i did not at all mention reader's gifts giving love language. i am SO sorry i derailed so badly (｡ᵕ ◞ _◟) i'll revisit this if you want me to, but my brain is mush siufvhdfovidfjvidf
═══════★˙⋆˙⟡ ̟ bsd headcanons: love languages (ranpo and dazai edition)
tw!!: suicidal ideations (once again, dazai); vague spoilers warning for ranpo’s backstory? idfk man
more under the cut!
i got lazy at the end for dazai's secondary love languages, apologies! my writing fuel died out ( ;´ - `;)
── .✦ ranpo:
ranpo, the man, the goat, the myth, the legend. we can all tell that ranpo has a thing for praise and likes to be validated through words, but i don’t think it applies to absolutely everyone. it depends on how close the person validating him is to him; it’d say, praise from the President and yosano might hit the deepest, but praise from his lover? validation from his lover? i think this man might combust on the spot, and it’s not even a sexual thing at this point.
i think ranpo’s primary love language might be words of affirmation, based on how he behaves and acts in the manga/anime/light novels. i haven’t read The Untold Origins of the Detective Agency yet (i plan to! someday lol), but from what’s been adapted in the anime, i think affirmations and words can affect ranpo a lot. i mean, think about it — when fukuzawa promises to praise him in that episode when the mafia kidnaps atsushi, ranpo practically locks the fuck in immediately. he’s a sucker for people admitting and reinforcing the fact that he’s the greatest detective in the world because it validates his cocky attitude. but, past all the comedic and humorous sides, if you’re vulnerable and talk to him truthfully, i think that would hit him hard. you could mention how you like his eyes, you could tell him how he did so well finding his way to your workplace, you could compliment him on his intelligence; as long as you truly mean those words, he’ll be putty in your hands. and trust me, he knows when you mean them and when it’s a throwaway thing you say just to shut him up.
it’s those moments: when you’re staring at his face while he’s propped his feet up on your coffee table with a lollipop in his mouth and you tell him how you love how he is unabashedly himself (with no mockery in your voice); when it’s late at night and the world has been exceptionally loud and demanding that day, and ranpo is overstimulated as hell, but you know just how to card through his hair while he lies his head on your chest, and you tell him you’re proud of him. what for? simple — for existing. nobody ever tells him they’re glad he’s simply alive. there. sure, everyone at the agency relies on him and thinks of him as invincible. sure, fukuzawa praises him occasionally and nurtures his intelligence and ability to solve cases with a snap of his fingers. but there’s a particular kind of heaviness in his chest, one that’s not entirely unwanted, when your voice goes soft and your words spill out. when you talk about your day, then ask him about his; when you find topics to talk about that actually make his brain relax, not engage in his super deductions. when he doesn’t need to be on 24/7 because you’re his sanctuary. when, despite him being utterly ridiculous and stubborn for all the childish reasons you could possibly think of, you stand patiently and express genuinely how you feel. communication, not just words of affirmation. when you apologize after saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment, and ranpo knows it’s not just empty words because you’d never apologize lightly unless you’re genuinely remorseful. when he apologizes for his behavior and and you say out loud that you forgive him, because that reinforces it in his mind. with you, boredom rarely comes, because he knows whatever you start yapping about, he’ll automatically tune in and remember everything you say.
sometimes, on days off work, when you mention that you really like an outfit he has, he magically ends up wearing it on your next date. if you ask him, he won’t beat around the bush. he’ll just admit it’s because he looks good in it, and, of course, because he likes making you happy by wearing the things you like seeing him in. around you, he doesn’t need to search for clues and read between the lines (things he finds really fucking annoying). with you, he knows you’ll give him shit if he oversteps your boundaries or he’s not self-aware enough to see his mistakes.
for his secondary love language, i’m not exactly sure. i’m torn between physical affection and quality time. for quality time, i’m thinking about it from this point of view: he needs stimulation for his brain, so playing video games with him, or watching a more action-based, visually stimulating show or movie might be something he enjoys with you. hitting the park and vandalizing the swings and slide, even as grown adults. playing with the kids in the neighborhood (this one i can even confirm he mentions in the anime, but it’s a bit ambiguous cuz he says he’d rather play with the kids than solve a mystery novel; still, i think it fits his personality). but there’s also the option of physical affection because there are lots of instances in the anime where he quite literally doesn’t care about people’s personal space and invades it with the efficiency of someone who breathes cockiness instead of oxygen. he literally tickles minoura, headbutts poe, pats random cop’s shoulder, literally hugs fukuzawa like a day after meeting him, shoves poe’s face away with his hand. yeah, it’s safe to say he’s a touchy person, so my analysis concludes… physical affection wins this round!
do i even need to explain how your personal space is his personal space too? no. we both know he’ll use you as a cushion every time you sit down on the couch at the agency. or hug you from behind at the most inconvenient times then claim all he’s trying to do is rest after such a long day of hard work (he solved 3 cases within 10 minutes and barely moved his ass all day). he’s always holding your hand wherever you two walk together. and he demands cheek kisses, even when kunikida scolds you for lack of ‘professional behavior’ and boundaries. though kunikida soon learns to shut the fuck up because ranpo tends to give zero fucks and ribs him for being sexually frustrated in front of everyone. you have to use your impeccable social skills words of affirmation to explain to ranpo that no, you can’t do that, you big stupid lovable idiot, go apologize to kunikida (you did laugh tho).
── .✦ dazai:
mmmm, immediately, i need to mention physical affection. i think in my romancing the characters headcanons, i mentioned that dazai is touchy and uses touch as a manipulation tactic. sometimes, manipulation isn’t inherently negative — it just depends on the intentions, i’d say. sometimes, he manipulates not for his own gain, but to steer people to do better things, placate an escalation, or comfort vulnerable victims during particularly hard cases. it’s pretty much canon that dazai is good with kids, so i imagine a well-placed hand on top of a child’s head, a hair ruffle, giving them piggyback rides; it could do wonders for a shaken-up child. every time he flirts with a woman, he holds her hand and caresses it (the waitress at uzumaki, higuchi), he literally danced with sigma barefoot in the middle of a fUCKING HALLWAY WHILE HAVING ACTIVE POISON IN HIS SYSTEM. he lets kunikida practically manhandle him when kunikida is pissed out of his mind, even though he could easily dodge. he definitely doesn’t mind touch.
i think he’s touch-starved, so he gives affection to people around him and actively detaches himself from it, too. he’s definitely given atsushi a hair ruffle here and there and made it out to be just him trying to annoy his protege. or wrapped an arm around kunikida's shoulders just to be a little shit while deep down craving the warmth of another human being to remind him of it's okay to lean on people around you (literally). oh my god, something super cute i can picture is him training to braid kyouka's pigtails when the ADA's workday is particular slow; just imagine, both of them sitting on the floor, dazai with his tongue stuck out and lazer focused on getting the braids to be even. it's such a big brother thing, and i feel like he might have done something similar back in the day with oda's orphans.
i think his genuine hugs would be heavenly. but if you hug him first, he'd definitely be a little awkward and unsure how to react, as he's canonically terrible with gratitude and kindness (by canonically, i mean it's shown in WAN). he's pretty tall, so i'd assume the average person wouldn't be his height; it would be easy for him to rest his cheek on the top of your head. his arms would at first wrap around your torso with the speed of a snail but when he feels you relax against him, it's game over. he'd hold you so damn close you'd need to pry him out of your grasp with a claw machine. even kunikida's righteous professional fury wouldn't be able to pull you two away.
he'd deny it, of course. that he craves physical intimacy. he'd joke cheerfully that he’s just filling his quota for his teddy bear duties, but when you try to pull away, he’d whisper just three seconds more in your ear. and it wouldn’t sound like his usual petulant tone. just three seconds. just these three seconds.
his hand often finds its way on your lower back when he’s guiding you somewhere or trying to pass by you. his fingers brush through your hair gently when you sit side by side on the floor of his dorm room, often when you’re watching something or read a book. over time, he practically becomes addicted to hugging you every morning before he leaves for work and every time he comes back. oftentimes, he takes your hand and kisses your fingertips — every single one of them. then kisses your knuckles, trailing his lips up to your arm, the crease of your elbow, your forearm, up to your shoulder and finally your cheek. some of those times it turns sexual, other times… not really. other times, all he wants to do is mark you in the softest, gentlest way possible. a way to tell the universe fuck you without tainting you with his inhumanity. god knows the last thing he'd want to do is transfer the wretched curse of his existence onto you too, but the warmth of your thigh under his head feels awfully close to a concept he'd never truly understand: home.
his secondary love language would be quality time. all you need to do is be in his vicinity, doing whatever: breathing, reading a book, doing reports, writing 15 times dazai sucks ass in your journal and he'd feel that flicker of warmth in the void of his soul like a flicker of a flame in a vast expanse of darkness.
oh, and cooking for him. never let that man into your kitchen, even if he's begging on his knees.
I don't remember if I asked for this already or not but imagine cuddling with your bsd boyfriend and he's running his fingers through your hair when he feels scabs leftover from a head wound you didn't tell anyone about. You got injured and didn't even ask Yosano to check to make sure you didn't have a concussion!!
How would they react?
Author note: Hi!! Sorry for the wait, i was on vacations! :p But I hope you'll enjoy this! I tried to include as many characters as possible !
Secretly injured while cuddling!
Headcanons, male bsd characters x reader
Dazai
For the first time in forever, he washed himself, so you finally accepted to cuddle with him.
Oh boy... The way he gasped so loudly and made an opera about the scabs left on your head!
You didn't tell anyone about it because you were actually genuinely scared of Yosano's treatments methods.
But like, the moment was super cute, he was being all sleepy and running his hands through your hair...
THOSE DAMN SCABS!!!
Needless to say, you were forced to endure Yosano's treatment later on. You thought about quiting the armed detective agency but you needed money, and you knew damn well the Port Mafia is probably trying to kidnap you to have you hostage and manipulate Dazai back into the port mafia.
Thanks god Dazai washed himself again and gave you a buffet of your preffered food afterwards!
Kunikida
He was finally letting go of all the pent up stress, you two were cuddling, the moonlight shined through the curtains, you could hear the wind outside...
Yeah, ASMR basically.
Anyway! Kunikida was running his fingers through your hair, his movements slowed down until... His eyes opened WIDE, fish eye view bsd mode!
Bro.... he was panicked but tried to stay calm as you scolded him about stress again, he didn't listen and looked for all the ways to heal that without Yosano's treatment.
... You ended up getting healed by Yosano.
But! He made sure you had anesthetic beforehand so that you wouldn't feel a thing!
As you joked about the full moon and how atsushi was gonna turn into his "alpha form", atsushi ignored your rambling and ran his fingers through your hair... He felt the scabs, mumbled about them and asked what was it about, took one minute to figure it out, checked on it, asked why you didn't tell anyone, he was genuinely worried!
He gave you flowers after you took Yosano's treatment
Ranpo
He already figured it out, he took the opportunity of cuddling for confirmation. You're going to get kidnapped by Yosano after the cuddling.
And he didn't even share his candies afterwards!?
Tanizaki
You guys finally had a moment without his sister messing around.
When he felt the scabs, he sounded worried and he kissed your forehead.
He promised, against his will, not to tell anyone.
The next day, you were talking about it with him in a room alone, he was checking up on your scabs.
And BAM! NAOMI APPEARD OUT OF NOWHERE !!
You got Yosanoed, thank you Naomi!
Tachihara
You both were from the hunting dogs, the double-spies they called you. Tachihara was in the port mafia as a spy, and you were in the armed detective agency as a spy (omg i need to make a whole fanfic about this)
He ran his fingers through your hair, you both were tired from your double lives, the minions movie didn't even comfort you both, so you were both, just... Trying to breath.
He felt the scabs over your head, he was worried and tried to gently convince you to tell Yosano, when you insisted that you wouldn't, he threatened to tell the hunting dogs about it.
You ended up getting Yosano's treatment, and you gave Tanizaki the silence treatment afterwards, until he got you a gay flag because you're probably queer if you watch bungou stray dogs
They come to your house to pick you up for something.
Dazai
Wouldn’t be harsh but would tell you it looks bad immediately.
He’d tell you that you should change and definitely joke about helping you get undressed.
He’d help you pick out clothes by judging the different outfits you try on.
Once you pick a good outfit he’d say it was all thanks to his help.
Chuuya
Would ask if you’re seriously wearing that.
He’d tell you you need to change because he doesn’t want to be seen next to you when you’re in that outfit.
He’d go through your clothes to pick out a good outfit for you.
He’d have a lot of knowledge on fashion.
While picking the outfit he’d tell you why certain things go well with other things.
Poe
Would try to convince you to wear another outfit without saying yours is ugly.
He’d try help go through your clothes to pick out a good outfit but it would be hard for him to find anything he thinks is good because you don’t have much high quality clothes.
After going through your clothes he’d offer to take you shopping buy you better clothes.
Ranpo
Would immediately tell you your outfit is ugly.
Would tell you you should change if you don’t want to look ugly.
He’d tell you exactly what about the outfit looks ugly on you.
Wouldn’t help much just judge whatever outfit you try on until it’s better than what you originally had on.
Something something Dazai has ADHD, Ranpo has AuDHD and Fyodor has Autism
I wonder if Edogawa Ranpo from BSD has AuDHD: his attention to details and noticing what other people don’t leans into Autism but he has no strict rules or schedule, or heavy masking, meanwhile his ADHD is shown through eating sweets (common addiction pattern) to keep himself stimulated and his openness that appear as rude to people and openly disliking things is very ADHD-coded.
Spoilers for Cannibalism Arc, Fyodor's ability and ending of BSD Part 1.
This also made me think deeply of the trio’s dynamic: how Dazai facing Fyodor into psychological and intellectual battles made me see their differences even though they match intellectually. Dazai had mentioned that Ranpo sees more things that he can: this means that if Dazai trained more or hyperfixated into becoming a better detective, he could but he would still fall behind Ranpo because Ranpo is naturally drawn to details and nuances, he sees the pattern while Dazai sees the thrill.
This also explains why Ranpo dislikes playing smart games with Dazai and especially with Fyodor who is purely Autistic, where as Ranpo has both Autism and ADHD. Ranpo made a slip-up at the Cannibalism Arc because he put Fyodor into “default human” parameters and failed to see that Fyodor doesn’t follow societal conformity and won’t hesitate to use any means possible to reach his goals. Fukuchi is neurotypical and was fooled by Fyodor while was easily read by Ranpo.
Since Ranpo has been surrounded mostly by standard, mostly neurotypical people, he didn’t really have many things that challenge his brain, therefore his growth was slow, and since facing Dazai and Fyodor is a MASSIVE challenge, his ADHD side of brain easily gets agitated/frustrated and thus cloud his mind, only a little but it’s enough for the other two to trick him.
Since Dazai also doesn’t bother with societal conformity, Fyodor had to be careful at tricking Dazai, so he played on assumptions, which is why Dazai mistakenly assumed that Fyodor’s ability is related to touch where as in truth his ability has to do with death, Fyodor did a great job tricking Dazai and Ranpo. Although, I would doubt he knew everything, he also relied on luck especially when he took over Bram’s body.
When Poe took Ranpo on a date for the first time they went to a very expensive restaurant where Ranpo ordered every single dessert and they were sitting in a VIP booth where people propose usually OR they had dinner with candles and roses and wine at Poe's mansion
When Ranpo took Poe on a date they went to laser tag and ate at MacDonald
