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-how do ya win-
Cardin: *sitting at lunch table*
RDL: *sits at table*
Dove: what are we doing to that jaune twerp today?
Cardin: *flatly* nothing
Sky: what do you mean nothing?
Cardin: nothing. N-o-t-h-i-n-g. Nothing
Russel: but why?
Cardin: how do you win against the guy that got a blowjob from pyrrha nikos??
DNL: *stunned silence*
Winter: He's a soldier.
Yang: A cowboy.
Raven: A knight.
Cinder: An asshole.
Blake: A terribly complicated man.
Ruby: Probably the easiest person to understand.
Tyrian: A riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped inside an enigma~!
Nora: A real-real, no play, son of a bitch~!
Robyn: A true huntsman.
Mercury: He's a killer.
Jessica: A pretty good kisser.
Velvet: A man too good for his own good.
Neo: (Sighs, Shrugs)
Flynt: A damn hard target.
Coco: A damn good leader, even if he doesn't think it.
Emerald: The scariest guy I have ever met, and I've met Tyrian!
Cardin: The SECOND best huntsman from Ansel~.
Yatsuhashi: A thoroughly untrustworthy fellow who I'd trust with my life any day of the week.
Neptune: A terrible swimmer you wouldn't want to meet.
Fox: He's kind of an ass.
Sun: He's a damn cheater is what he is!
Russel: Talk about your laugh riots!
Qrow: Someone who knows where he's going, and he knows how to get there.
Marrow: A wet rat. He smells EXACTLY like a wet rat.
Weiss: I don't know if I'll ever get married because every time I meet someone, I can't help but compare them to him. And there's no way they could ever measure up.
Oscar: He never told me what he was like when he was my age. As far as I can tell, he's never told ANYONE. But there's something to him that makes me feel like he's been where I'm at right now; where you're not sure of who you are or what you're doing, but you just know you have to do it. He's gotten used to taking a life just as much as life has been taken away from him. And that's why I think he's the greatest huntsman I've ever met.
Ren: He's a man I know better than any other man alive, but I'll be damned if he doesn't find a new way to surprise me. And seldom is it in a good way.
Ozpin: I could tell you what I know of the man. Things I imagine few others do. But I must admit, I'm far more interested in what YOU have to say. So please, Miss Lavender, if you don't mind...
Ozpin: What do YOU think of Jaune Arc?
--------------------------------------------------
Jaune: They're all wrong, you know. Every single one of them.
Jaune: Well, except for Neptune. I can't swim to save my life.
Lisa: Okay, then why don't you tell me yourself... WHO IS JAUNE ARC?
Jaune: I... can't really say.
Lisa: Can't or won't?
Jaune: Can't.
Lisa: Why not?
Jaune: Because I don't know. The only thing I can say for sure about Jaune Arc is...
Jaune: He's a work in progress.
A knight second chance 4
Pyrrha: *looking around* ... Where did Jaune go?
Nora: *sucking tree sap like a vampire* 'unno, he 'as he'e a se'on's a'o.
Ren: I think i heard him say something about Ursa.
Pyrrha: *panicking* He could be in danger! Trying to kill them by himself.
Both Ren and Nora looked at her, deadpan
Pyrrha: W-what!?
Nora: Pyrrha, Jaune out-stamina ME during my morning routine WHILE doing twice as much. He might not be as flashy as us, But the guy just doesn't stop!
Ren: *nod* His aura control is immaculate, which is really impressive for someone who didn't have his aura unlocked until initiation.
Pyrrha: H-how... When!?
Nora: Oh he told us in the first two weeks... Wait, we didn't tell you?
Pyrrha: NO! I THOUGHT HE WAS HIDING IT!!
Nora: Eheh... Oups?
___________________________________________
Cardin: *looking at the friendly Jaune ripping the head of the ursa with his bare hands* ... Holy shit, is that why you only go for ring out!?
Jaune: *looking back at Cardin with a smile* Oh it's quite easy actually. You just have to twist the head!
Cardin: ... *Looking at the sap on the ground* And i almost threw that at your teammates as a prank. Thanks GODS i didn't, it could have been dangerous!
Jaune: Especially with rapier wasps.
Cardin: *confused* Rapier wasps? What are you talking about?
Jaune: Wait... You weren't planning on sending rapier wasps on my team?
Cardin: What!? NO! And where would we find those anyway!?
Russel: ... My girlfriend does have a wasp farm.
Cardin: *looking at his friend* WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND!?
Russel: *shrug* Her semblance gives her control over some insects and they are natural predators for most pests. She likes her garden clean.
Dove: Flower or food?
Russel: *turn to Dove* Both. Oh, by the way, she made us blue and blackberry jam!
___________________________________________
Pyrrha: *blushing* ... He barely moved when the ursa rammed into him. He stood his ground like a knight...
Ruby: *slight blush* And the way he just casually decapitated the ursa while continuing to smile, as if to say nothing wrong could happen...
Weiss: *blushing hard, staying silent* ...
A RWBY Chibi Sketch
(A/N - This stupid idea, and I mean STUPID idea, has be brewing for awhile... now I just need to get it out of my head. )
Weiss: Can you BELIEVE that all those... those dolts! Took off to see that fake sport?
Pyrrha: I know. I tried to tell them it wasn't worth the lien... but they completely ignored me.
Ruby: You know it's not fake right? It's scripted. That's a BIG difference.
Weiss: Fake, scripted. Who cares? It's a ridiculous testosterone fueled soap opera.
Pyrrha: What's that noise?
Weiss: Is that people cheering???
Ruby: Oh this should be good...
Announcer: REMNANT WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION! For fifty years the revolutionary force of sports entertainment!!!
The cafeteria doors slam open... as Sky Lark and Dove Bronzewing stalk in...
Weiss / Pyrrha: ???????
A minute later... Cardin Winchester and Russel Thrush walk in...
Ruby: WOW! They have the outfits and everything!!!
The cafeteria's lights dim, and then begin to strobe as Yang and Blake saunter through the main doors...
Weiss / Pyrrha: ??????
Ruby: THAT SO FITS THEM!
As the most recent theme song fades away, Nora stalks through the doors...
Weiss: I'm getting scared about the effect that show had on Beacon...
Pyrrha: ????
Ruby: I don't see Ren or Jaune yet. I wonder who they'll come as?
As if summoned by Ruby's words... Ren was the next one to saunter through the main doors...
Weiss / Pyrrha: ????
Ruby: Only Jaune left to return...
The lights dimmed, and artificial smoke/fog began to flow through the doors...
Weiss: That's Jaune????
Ruby: What do you think Pyrrha?
Pyrrha: I think I need to change my panties.
WIP but making my own personal russel redesign 🤠🤠🤠
RWBY: Team CRDL Weapons, Semblances, and Allusions
I wanted to put my headcanons for Team CRDL from RWBY here.
Cardin Winchester
Weapon: Executioner. I kept the mace mode, but I decided to have it also be able to extend into a flail or shift into a flamethrower.
Semblance: Growing Confidence. Cardin can grow in size based on how confident he is. I based this on his inconsistent sizing in Volume 1, which while just animation errors felt like it was a good basis for his semblance and fit his personality. He likes to feel big and strong.
Allusion: Henry Beaufort. An antagonist to Jaune's Joan of Arc.
Russel Thrush
Weapon: Shortwings. I kept it so that they're daggers that can revolve between Dust types, but I decided to add in the ability to turn into chakrams, as well as combining into a chunky bow.
Semblance: Ravenous Advance. With each successful attack, Russel gets a boost in strength, speed, and ferocity. However, he risks losing himself to that ferocity. Not that he really cares much, mind you.
Allusion: Mongol Army. An antagonist to Ren's Hua Mulan.
Dove Bronzewing
Weapon: Hallshott. I kept the sword mode, but I also made it so it can retract to become a pistol or open up to act as a giant shears.
Semblance: Blindfolded. If Dove can't see, he becomes an even better fighter. Yes I based this on Kaleidoarms's Evermorrow AU, and yes it's a reference to the fact he always looks like his eyes are closed.
Allusion: Hector of Troy. An antagonist to Pyrrha's Achilles.
Sky 'Loon' Lark
Weapon: Feather's Edge. I kept the halberd and rifle modes, but I also made it so it can shift into a very interestingly shaped blade.
Semblance: Bird Call. Loon can perfectly mimic any voice or sound he's ever heard, and can project it from multiple locations. Yes based on Kaleidoarms's Evermorrow AU again, I can't help it if others have good ideas that I greatly enjoy.
Allusion: Skrymir. An antagonist to Nora's Thor.
Thoughts?
Not that I know of...
At a coffee shop
Jaune: *Drinking coffee*
Cardin: Jaune?
Jaune: Hm? *Turns his head* Cardin?
Cardin: *Happy* Jaune! Long time no see.
Jaune: Yeah, how have you been?
Cardin: All good. and you? How are you? Any family any kids?
Jaune: Oh no, I mean not that I know of *He said jokingly* You know what I mean. How about you?
Cardin: *Serious* Excuse me.
Jaune: Um... I'm just saying like if I do have kids, I don't know about them, you know. What about you, you got any kids?
Cardin: So you've created multiple single mothers forced to raise children.
Jaune: It... It was a joke.
Cardin: So you're telling me there's just a bunch of little kids, little Jaunes running around growing without a father. Because you couldn't be bother to stick around or back them up!
Jaune: It's a joke. Have you never heard that phrase? It's a guys joke.
Cardin: Wow... Russel!
Russel: *Walks to them* Sup...
Cardin: Do you remember Jaune from Beacon?
Russel: Yeah.
Cardin: Well he's just been knocking up woman left and right and not raising them.
Jaune: Is was just a joke!
Russel: That's messed up man. I can't imagine not being in my son's life.
Jaune: I'm not!
Russel: He's my pride and joy. Look...
Russel then takes out his phone and shows a photo of a blonde boy playing soccer.
Russel: And I love him, even if he wasn't an absolute stud at soccer.
Jaune stares at the image and begins to see some similarities. Similarities that, strangely, he also has. He's really confused.
Cardin: That's amazing. I'm proud of my boy too. Look...
Cardin also shows a photo of his son. He is blond and is playing the guitar. Jaune looks at the photo and finds the same similarities. He begins to worry you.
Cardin: He's quite the musician.
Russel: You must be proud.
Cardin: Pretty sure he gets his talent and good looks from his mother. Because he sure looks nothing like me.
Russel: It's beautiful. Maybe Jaune here will understand the joys of being a dad someday.
Jaune: I gotta go. *He said quietly*
Cardin: And this is my oldest son.
Cardin shows another photo that is the spitting image of Jaune when was is in middle school.
Jaune: I gotta go! *Runs away*
Russel: I bet he feels embarrassed.
Cardin: He deserves it.
