And would it kill today's rap artist to put on some colorful pants? Some of us really liked the colorful pants.
@badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 70
I bet if moths could talk they'd still be really creepy.
@sween (Jason Sweeney) – 69
"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"
@shitmydadsays (Justin) – 68
It took an irate assistant manager with a trunkload of 400 cold burritos, but now I'm convinced that new Chipotle iPhone app is not a game.
@scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) – 67
Obama is going to address the nation's schoolchildren? One good fart joke and the Democrats control Congress for 60 years.
@badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 66
There's something to be said about unlocked hospital medication carts, but I don't have time for that now because WHEEE!!!
@thedayhascome (Josh Hopkins) – 65
Hate the little changes my wife makes when using my car. My nav system just asked if I was really going to wear this shirt with these pants.
@smilinbjones (Chris Pinckney) – 61
I like my men like I like my Nintendo cartridges: a little blow job will fix most problems.
@abigvictory (Michele Catalano) – 59
In sum: I mention that my ass got grabbed, and 10,000 developers I love pull out a white earbud and yell, "But, what were you WEARING?"
@hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 56
The thing about angrily flipping off that asshole driver is that the only people who use this road are my coworkers.
@CcSteff (Stephanie) – 56
Coming home to see my family made pie, but ate all of it, is like coming home to a bunch of people that are dead to me.
@lukeinvan (Vancouver's Luke) – 55
Three-year-old niece interrupted my cooking with a phone call to tell me about the moon. I let dinner burn.
@CcSteff (Stephanie) – 54
Forgetting my wallet- that's my problem. Forgetting my deodorant- that's the world's problem.
@CranberryPerson (N/A) – 53
He said he liked ranch dressing. So I put on a cowboy hat, vest, and skirt. Apparently he doesn't like it as much as he thought he did.
@JeeNeeBee (Jeannie B) – 53
Some arguments can be settled with logic, reason, and mutual respect. Other times it's just easier to buy a shovel, a tarp, and some lime.
@Tony_D (Tony Delgrosso) – 52
I'm so happy to be in London, the most perfect city in the worl- IS THAT A STAND-ALONE CROCS STORE? I WILL BURN THIS CITY TO THE GROUND.
@katefeetie (Katie Rose) – 52
All this Snow Leopard backlash almost makes me glad I don't have a Mac anymore.
...Vista says he only beats me because he loves me.
@aedison (Avery Edison) – 51
Oh my God. How do you people argue about software all the time? It's like being locked in a hobby shop full of men with no hobbies.
@hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 48
I put the 'anus' in 'I began using your toothbrush inappropriately'.
@Zaius13 (Damn Dirty Ape) – 47
For the record, a man on his deathbed has many wishes. Deathchips. Maybe some deathdip. The deathremote to the deathtv.
@badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 46
