Tails: Look im serious, this might be my greatest technological achievement, Like literally.
Sonic: Ok you say that for all of them. *Gestures to Tails other inventions*
Tails: Ok but this time im telling the truth. Sonic the Hedgehog i want you to meet…
*Someone else walks onto the beach and its a familiar face*
Tails: Sonic The Hedgehog!
Archie/Boom:…..Why are you so short/tall? Excuse me?!
Tails: Right so uh Sonic meet uh well Sonic. He’s you but canon-er.
Archie: More like fanfiction that got out of hand.
Tails: Today both of you Gentlehogs will face off, one of you may even die BUT i can say for all of us that is a risk we are all willing to take for the sake of science.
Boom: Im not fucking canon?!
Tails alrighty gentlehogs before we begin do we have any questions?
*Both Sonics raise their hands*
Archie: Why am i here? Also i think less cool Sonic has a question too.
Boom: *Sarcastic laugh* You got great jokes. But can you BALL bitch?
Archie: Im quite confident in my 3’s you know.
Boom: Oh we’ll see about that.
*Cut to a basketball game*
Tails: We got some serious ball handling folks oh and Sonic goes for the 3!
*The ball goes through the hoop*
Tails: ITS GOOOOOD! Archie Sonic completely embarrassing Boom Sonic but wait Sonic has the ball he’s going in for a dunk! OH MY AAAANNNNCIIIEEEEENNNTSSSS!!! GOOOOAAAAA-Wait wrong game.
*Cue montage of both Sonics competing in different competitions from Push ups,chili dog eating(leaving Tails with the bill),trying to open pickle jars and racing in cars*
Tails looking at a checkboard: Welp i cant believe im saying this but…its a tie. You both tied perfectly in every single contest.
Boom: Wait so they’ll never know who’s best?
Boom: They’ll just have to wonder for the rest of eternity?
Archie: Pretty sure they know.
Boom: Oh my Ancients, You just think you're hilarious, don't you?
Archie: Yes. Now, if you don't mind, I really need to be getting back to my comic... (walks away)
Boom: Oh, right, you mean the comic that got cancelled?
Archie: (stops in his tracks) Oh yes, I forgot! You've got a comic and a show! Wonder how those are doing?
Boom: Well i can say i didnt have to go through an entire damn reboot.
Archie: Oh please, the most memorable thing you had was a crazy ass badger!
Boom: At least she made it to the main series, Your characters cant even get cameos.
*That was the quill that broke the Hedgehogs back as Archie lunges at Boom and starts punching him in the face but Boom kicks him into a tree and pounces on him causing the 2 to double spindash and start punching the shit out of each other through Meh Burger*
*Meanwhile in Light Labs*
Rock: Ya know i think im ready to come back. I feel like i’ve had time to heal, i feel grounded,present and ya know even-
*He’s cut off by The Sonics breaking in through the wall still punching the shit out of each other*
Rock: Thats it! Im going back on hiatus!
*The Sonics are slapping the shit out each other with Archie even slapping Boom with Nicoles handheld computer all while Tails watches taking notes on his clipboard*
*Cut to the Sonics having dinner at a fancy restaurant*
Boom: Can you pass the salt please?
Archie: Oh im pretty sure you’re salty enough for the both of us.
Boom: *Just stares at Archie,takes a sip from his drink and sighs*
Archie: *As he’s launched out the window* OH YOU BIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!! *Crashing sounds*
*The 2 Sonics end up at Eggmans lair and begin strangling each other*
Archie: You motherfucker! I’ll kill you!
Boom: You’re not even the right shade of blue!
*Both Tails and Eggman watch this while taking notes*
*The 2 Sonics are battling it out using Lightsabers until the platform they’re on breaks*
*Cut to them at the movies*
Archie: Hey Wait wait check this part out, its my favorite part.
Rome: Let your man go, huh?
Brian: Drop it, I don't wanna talk about it.
Rome: Drop it hell! I wanna hear about this, homie!
Brian: I said forget about it, cuz.
*Both Sonics start laughing but Booms starts to die down while Archie keeps going*
Archie: I told you this movie was great.
Boom:….I mean its alright.
Archie: *Has the most shocked look on his face like Boom just said the most heinous thing ever*
*The 2 start fighting again breaking through the walls of the theater and then somehow ending up in the Archieverse*
Shard: Now theres 2 of him.
Uncle Chuck: Yeah this getting out of hand.
*Cut to a wrestling ring where Boom lightly smacks Archies chest*
Archie: Aww MotherFu-*Slams Boom to the ground*
Nite: Oh my Gaia! Did you see that Don?! An RKO outta nowhere!
Don: You’re right Nite, it doesn’t matter what Sonicverse you’re from that one HAD to hurt!
Archie: Huh-*Gets a foot to the face*
Nite: And Sonic counterattacks with a sweet chin music but whats this? Is that…Oh my Gaia it is! Its a Zeti Don! A fucking Zeti!
Don: Not just any Zeti either. Thats the world heavyweight champion Zazz! And he’s got a steel chair in hand!
*Zazz hits Boom with the steel chair…which isnt made of steel at all so it does nothing*
Archie: Excuse me, Do you fucking mind?
*The hedgehogs look at each other….and then beat the purple off Zazz*
Tails: *looking at his clipboard* Alright so…not gonna lie, *he and Boom Sonic are surrounded by rings* the fans loved it.
Archie:…I get a cut of that right?
*The 2 booms just stare at him starting another fight between the 2 sonics as they punch each other into the sunset*
