#spidey son

[u2011234567]

Avengers Family Incorrect Quotes - 3/?

Peter: sniffling under a blanket I’m fine, guys, it’s just a cold. Tony: “Just a cold”? You coughed like a dying kazoo this morning. Steve: Bed. Now. Peter: I am in bed! Bucky: Not tucked in properly, you’re not. tucks him in like he’s wrapping a burrito Natasha: hands him soup Eat. Peter: But I’m not— Wanda: stirs the spoon with magic You are now. Sam: How come no one babies me when I’m sick? Clint: Because you whine louder than a jet engine. Thor: bursts in with a cauldron I have brought the sacred Asgardian remedy! Tony: THAT’S BOILING, PUT IT DOWN— Bruce: sighs, holding ice packs This is why I work alone. Strange: calmly opens a portal to pharmacy I’ll get the meds. Peter: ...can I at least watch a movie? Everyone in unison: NO SCREENS. (Meanwhile, Wade sneaks in through the vent with a milkshake.) Wade: Baby boyy— Tony: GET OUT.

[stolenavalanche]

Tony: Did you eat your entire Easter basket in 10 minutes?

Peter, vibrating: I CAN SEE THROUGH TIME.

[good-as-i-am94]

Peter flopped onto Tony and Pepper’s bed while they packed for a trip, “I’m begging now. Take me with.”

Pepper laughed softly as she put another shirt in her suitcase, “I tried to tell him you would want to come.”

“It’s going to be a bunch of boring meetings, Kid. Why are you begging to come? Did you and May have a fight or—“ Tony frowned and then snapped his fingers, “You think if you come with then you are ungrounded.”

“Pfftt.” Peter rolled his eyes, “No. I just miss Pepper. I never get to see her.”

Pepper paused to ruffle his hair, “That’s my favorite lie.”

“I don’t know why the two of you are so suspicious. Honestly, maybe someone should be asking the two of you questions.” Peter said as he pulled two shirts out of Tony’s bag.

Tony grabbed them, “Stop. Now I’m getting annoyed.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“I’m calling May.” Tony walked out of the room.

“But Mr. Stark—“ Peter trailed after his mentor.

Pepper found her passport to move to her purse, “Friday? You think Peter’s going to convince him?”

“I’ve calculated that the probability is at 98% based on previous situations where the boss says no repeatedly and Peter continues to ask.” Friday confirmed.

“It’s those brown eyes.” Pepper thought out loud.

“Agreed.” Friday confirmed.

[the-suicidal-lizard]

Mothers Adrenaline

Tony, Stephen and Peter, on a day out at the park: *having fun, Peter goes off*

Stephen: Peter, where are you baby? Momma wants to go home and get dru- go to sleep! Has anyone seen my son?! Oh God! That Mother's adrenaline is kicking in! Peter! I can see every equation! *Runs to Natasha* Excuse me, ma'am! Have you seen my son?! He's about this tall, clearly bi but we haven't had the talk!

Tony: *watches the meltdown*

Stephen: PETER?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! I'll let you do drugs! I'm gonna have a stroke! WHERE'S THE PARK RANGER?!

Peter, behind Stephen: ʰɪ ᵐᴏₘ

[athenadcvell]

Tony: Reminder that therapy and other psychiatric services are covered by The Avengers health plan.

Peter: ...Why does he always look at me when he says that?

[bitchy-marvel-dude]

Waiter: How old are your sons?

Stephen: Oh they’re not my-

Waiter: Kids eat free.

Peter and Harley: ...

Stephen: These are my sons, Harley and Peter. They’re both 8. Aren’t their dumb faces the cutest.

Harley: *under his breath* I will kill you.

Stephen: Hush child of mine, it’s cheaper.

[dead-inside-pt2]

I wrote an AI Peter Parker au Prompt(s) because i was bored and i had ideas

[cool-i-m-dead-inside]

I have a headcanon that T’Challa and Tony get together from time to time to feverishly watch vine compilations in order to understand what the hell Peter and Shuri are talking about