#state 11

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

NY: whatever you do, dont let alfred somehow convince you that hes a good public speaker.

Alfred: excuse you, I am an awesome manipulator and user of words.

*earlier that day*

Alfred: ...

Representative: ....

Alfred: open... the gates. Stop... having them... be closed.

Representative: how did you get into my office where did you come from?

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

NM: sorry I'm late, I was doing something

TX: *appears five minutes later looking disheveled*

NY: Hello something-

TX: NM PUSHED ME DOWN THE F*CKING STAIRS

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

NY: Okay, TX, take off that crop top, you look like a girl.

TX: *Literally the embodiement of masculinity* am I a pretty girl?

NY: ... 

NY: ...

NY: Yes, erm... you’re beautiful.

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

*at some point in time*

Alfred: I am very small and have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

Alternatively:

*in a letter to NY*

NY,

Please help me with my money my children are starving.

Clothing: 2 pounds

Horse: 0 pounds (I found sylvia on the side of the road.)

Candles: 50 pounds (the candle maker is very kind and makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. I dont understand it. Am I dying? Have I caught the plague?)

Tea: 30 pounds (I dont understand I dont even like the leaf water that you an VA make me drink).

Please help me.

Sincerely and quite frighteningly yours,

Alfred

My dearest Alfred,

What on earth is going on? I've been away for barely two nights. Such a slight length of time should not lead to this much chaos. Now, your letters leaves far too much to unpack, so I'll start with the most unnerving topic on hand: Alfred, what children are you referring to who are starving?

Regrettably yours,

NY

NY,

Me, yorkie. I'm the child. And I didnt know when you'd be back so I panicked.

Terrifyingly and panick-strickenly yours,

Alfred

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

VA: I feel like my perfect complexion makes up for my complete lack of patience.

GA: Lack of patience? VA, you literally stood there for hours and calmly explained everything when I got my first laptop. You coached me through my first laptop.

FL: I feel like it should be duly noted that GA is literally the exception to every arbitrary rule that VA has.

VA: That's not-

AL: 'no cups on my wood table unless you have a coaster! Except you, GA, dear, feel free to place your glass anywhere.'

VA: Thats-

SC: 'no yelling in my house- wait GA, Honey, what was that you needed? Please, yell louder when you need something.'

VA: wait, thats-

NC: 'if yall need to call me, I have a strict schedule and will not answer if you call past midnight- 'cept you GA, please call me whenever you need to.'

VA: I mean, we're dating. I feel like there should be differences.

Al: yesterday at a meeting you literally said, 'shut up. Everyone in this room is a blazing moron. Except you, GA, I'm so glad for your contributions.'

VA: how was that a problem???

NY: GA wasnt even there.

VA: ....

VA: you know what? Shut up. From now on, everyone is either GA or not-GA.

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

*sometime during the revolution*

MD: okay, well... I'll admit, things are not going exactly as we planned, and I can see why a lot of you are feeling... well, somewhat disheartened-

NY: we're not only getting our asses kicked, but France is no more closer to getting us aid than they were a year ago. Yeah, how do we even know they're actually helping us?? For all we know, they're selling our secrets to England!

NC: France helping England?

SC: Oh, yeah, that sounds sooo realistic.

MD: *glares at them* y'alls attitudes are terrible! Not only have the English not captured general Washington, but we've actually shown them that we're a capable force!

DE: MD is right. Buck up, yall. What are we?

Group: *mutters pathetically*

DE: I cant hear you! What are we?

Group: *a little louder* Americans

DE: what was that?

Group: Americans!

DE: Yeah! We're Americans! And you know what that means? We're going to open up a merry can of whoop ass on the British!

Group: ....

NY: do you take constructive criticism?

DE: no

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

*At a party sometime before the revolution*

Alfred: *running wildly around in his best little suit, a tiny bean, and waving something in his hand*

NY: What’s that you’ve got there, Al?

Alfred: *delighted with his find and still running around* A knife!

NY: *thinking of all the clever little ways VA would murder him if she found out and running after Al* NO!

NJ: *sipping their tea and enjoying every second of the show* Where did he even get a knife? 

[iliveinaconstantstateoffire]

NY: TX, I though we cut you off of any strong alcohol.

TX: *doesn’t speak, just sips at their drink*

NY: No, see, I’m pretty sure that after that last fiasco with you, a bar, and that old man’s cat, we all decided that you weren’t allowed to drink for at least a month.

TX: *sips drink* I don’t remember agreeing to this. 

NY: *steps forward and snatches the cup out of TX’s hands* Well, I do, and since VA isn’t around to stop you, then I will. 

TX: *shrugs*

NY: *Takes a sip of the drink*

NY: *spits drink out*

NY: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??

TX: Ah-ha! Prune juice and vinegar!