I believe I’ve figured out the ✨perfect✨metaphor to explain vaginismus by comparing the disorder to forcing a locked or inflexible muscle into a deep stretch (i mean basically the same thing)
For those who don’t know what vaginismus is: Vaginismus, also called genito-pelvic pain/penetration disorder (GPPPD), is a sexual pain disorder that involves involuntary muscle contractions, tightening, or tensing around the vaginal entrance during penetration. It can make it difficult (or even impossible) to have penetrative sex, insert a tampon, undergo a gynecological exam, have a transvaginal (internal) ultrasound, or, in some severe or untreated cases, even give birth vaginally.
Okay, so, most people can stretch their muscles. Stretching might feel tight or mildly uncomfortable at first, but with time, it becomes easier and eventually usually feels good. If someone hasn’t stretched in a long time, is new to it, or overdoes it, it might hurt a bit or leave them sore the next day, but it should be tolerable.👉 That’s what sex feels like for someone w/o vaginismus. Like a deep stretch that the body allows and adapts to over time.
Penetration during sex is ideally pleasurable. At the very least, for someone w/o underlying issues, it may feel like fullness or a deep stretch. Sometimes intense, but generally tolerable. If it’s her first time or it’s been a while since she’s had sex, it might feel a bit painful and leave her sore. Similarly, if the sex is rough or the partner’s penis is particularly large, there may be discomfort and soreness, but the penetration itself is manageable.
But now imagine someone w a locked muscle. Not just tight, but one that seizes up involuntarily. If you try to stretch it too far, too fast, or w/o prep, their muscle reflexively tenses up. Or imagine someone who is veerryy inflexible being forced into a deep stretch, like the splits. Trying to push them into that position (especially w/o warming up) wouldn’t just be uncomfortable. It would be excruciatingly painful. Or perhaps, simply not possible. Forcing it could tear muscles, cause bruising, lead to lasting injury, etc.
That’s what vaginismus is like. For a woman w vaginismus, penetration isn’t just a stretch that feels tight or mildly uncomfortable at first. It’s like shoving a very inflexible person or a person w a locked, seizing muscle into a deep stretch by force. If you try to force penetration past those clenched vaginal muscles, it can be excruciatingly painful and can cause tears, abrasions, bruising, bleeding, etc. It can also worsen the condition, causing the muscles to clench even harder the next time. And in some cases, penetration isn’t just painful, it’s physiologically blocked. Can feel like “hitting a wall.” Just like how someone who’s very inflexible may find a deep stretch physically impossible.
So if anyone ever tells me to just force it, I’m gonna force them into the splits 💅
