[elierlick]

Ending the stigma of drug use will save lives.

[betweenparallels]

“Never Use Alone” is a number you can call when you have no choice but to use when you’re alone.

If you call [phone], an operator will answer your call, and ask for your first name, location and whether you have any allergies, or medical conditions. After you’ve given us this information you can go ahead and inject your substance. After you’ve ingested the substance, we will continue communicating with you. If you do not respond after 30-45 seconds, we will notify emergency services of a possible overdose at the location you’ve given us.

We will never shame you, judge you, or preach at you to quit. If you are ready to quit though, we have treatment resources for every state in the US. Regardless if you have insurance, or not. We will do our best to connect you with the help you need. please call. We are on standby.

—-

This seems like a solid and real thing, I did my best to vet them and found their FB: https://www.facebook.com/Neverusealone/

They also seem to help with getting Narcan.

[official-lucifers-child]

holy shit this can actually save Real Lives like dudes this isn’t a joke and isn’t to be passed off

[shutupmerlin]

A series of events:

1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet

2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday

3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer

4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put in on his desk

5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form

6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work

7.

[catchymemes]

[steeiydan]

no but let me add the context here!

these are two pretty well known german tv personalities

palina, the woman on the left here, gets a lot of really gross comments on her body, especially her boobs. stuff like (paraphrased cause they’re in german) “woah, i wanna cum all over those fat tits” or “she’s such a fucking hot slut i wanna fuck those tits” or “with her, half of the guys would cum before reaching her hole” and who can forget “palina, you are and always will be a juicy piece of meat i would drink out of”. and the media tends to really sexualize her too.

so she and klaas (dude on the right), with the help of their team and and lovely ass-model decided to just drop this picture as an instagram, with the caption “finally got that nice necklace with my zodiac”

the media was quick to pick it up as “ah she says its about the necklace but she wants to show her boobs!”, and of course there were more comments like “i jacked off to this like seven times in an hour” and “those tits should milk my cock dry”

like a week later, they dropped the making-off video to that video and the rest is history

[weatheredlaw]

i taught swim lessons and preschool, do y’all wanna hear the most ridiculous white kid names i’ve ever seen?

[weatheredlaw]

i’ve met at least a dozen children named some form of “jackson” but the best ones were “jaxon” and “jakson” 

a parent who i really liked named her son “jaycob” because she was worried people wouldn’t pronounce it correctly. when someone accidentally spelled it “jacob” she would loudly and obnoxiously ask “WHO’S JAH-KOBE?” 

two siblings named “thor” and “tiara”

i once had a classroom with four girls named “brooklyn”

if you sent me a list of popular boy names, i could guarantee i’ve met every single one of them

twin girls named paisley and brinley

a girl named reader

a boy named rocko

keighleey

kayde

kolten

if it can start with a “k” instead of a “c” i have met that child

brittalynn 

i taught a swim class with three girls named “london” but only one of them was spelled “lundon” and i know my boss did that to me on purpose

a couple named all their kids after places in arizona: tatum, payson, and hayden

and speaking of hayden, i’ve seen: haydon, heighden, and heydon 

according to some white people, there are sixteen different ways to spell mckenzie

lakelyn, blakelynn 

[a-daks]

this is white culture

[spamsterlady]

I had a student named Branch.

[curlicuecal]

I once had pair of siblings named Hunter and Tanner. I really wanted them to have a sister named Fawn.

I had a Clark and Ophelia that were a bit unusual in the naming department.

And I had every single imaginable version of a girl’s name staring with “Mad-“ and every single imaginable version of a boy’s name ending in “-aden”

[ceekari]

Mom’s a teacher. So far her best/worst white kid names:

“Damion with a Y” according to the parent. Daymion? Damyon? Nope. Damiony. The Y is silent, said parent

A girl named Free. Maybe not that bad on its own, but the girl’s last name was Love

A boy named Calup because his mom couldn’t spell Caleb

[curlicuecal]

the y is silenty

[itmakesyousorry]

saw a white lady who had a poodle named Leigheaux (Leo…)

[sybbi]

Someone named their daughter Typhani (Tiffany)

[julebug123]

My mom helps run a daycare and literally all of the kids have names like Braylen and Caiden and Braxton and Jaylen (except when it’s a girl, then the ending is spelled with a Y instead of an E,) and then there’s like 400 Coltons. Every time I hear a name like that I flinch now.

[arktic-rage]

My sister knows a girl named Placenta

[sunken-standard]

I worked with a woman who named her daughter Sharday, after the singer.  Sade.  At least she made it into an anecdote that she didn’t know how to spell (or pronounce, apparently) it at the time, so props to her for owning up at least.

Other names people my age (late 30s) in my immediate acquaintance have named their kids: Tanner, Bridger, Thane, Liberty (x2), Alden, Briar, Nova, Stormy, Fallon, Fenix, Ona, Arlo, Dutch, Aurora, Aeriel (yeah, like the princess, but with an e to make it look different), Xander, Kane, Cricket (ngl I really like that one), and Sativa.  And that’s just what I can remember off the top of my head. 

[galgohelder-deactivated20190408]

I know a woman named Booty. That’s her literal name. It’s on her birth certificate. She tells everyone to call her Bo.

[cullenfucked]

ok but imagine watching bella and edward’s relationship from the outside like. ok this new girl moves to school and she starts dating that really weird guy from that really weird family for like. 6 months. and then he leaves her and shes like. really depressed for 6 months. then he comes back and like 6 months later youre invited to their wedding??????? i would be like bitch what the fuck

[twodotsknowwhy]

And then they go on their honeymoon only to have him come back and be like “oh yeah, she’s dead now, so sad”

[scorpio-karma]

That sounds like an episode of one of those “True Crime” shows where they know he murdered her but never had the evidence to prove it.

[ampervadasz]

[back-that-sass-up]

it took nine seconds for me to fully process what i was watching and then i started LAUHGHING

[docteryn]

I would be dead

[agetwellcard]

coming soon: the duolingo owl will break into your home at night and beat the shit out of you if you don’t know the word for potato in french

[la-laborista-republiko]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Boosting this warning!

[chimaeracabra]

Oh, shit. Really?

[lokicolouredglasses]

If you’re nearby, especially if you’re white, you should stick around and have your camera out.

Snopes says the cops in the photo here claim it was a hot day, and they were trying to prevent the cars overheating, but 1) Cops can lie and 2) Even if these cops DID have a good reason, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are others out there with less honest intentions.

Keep an eye out, and be safe.

[wishful-thinkment]

snopes: we asked the cops if these cops were up to no good and they said that they weren’t so it turns out that everything’s fine and there’s nothing to see here

[gemstone-gynoid]

Oh absolutely

[ragemovement]

Yeah lemme just block the road with my hood up to cool down my car….

Fun fact: cop cars are performance machines that use high tech parts to maintain power and reliability (the cops are lying)

[felderwin]

my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”

[agnesmontague]

i googled this bc i desperately wanted this to be real, and guess what…it is.

the dude’s name was su dongpo (also known as su shi). his original poem went like this:

稽首天中天，

毫光照大千，

八風吹不動，

端坐紫金蓮

(Humbly bowed my head below all skies Minutest lights shine through my deepest bounds Immovable by strong winds from eight sides Upon purplish gold lotus I seated straightly by the low mound) (x)

on which his friend wrote “放屁” (fart, literally), and you know the rest.

(here’s a chinese source for the skeptics)

[hexmaniacmareen]

can you imagine having your brutal murder described in detail to future generations

[lizawithazed]

this is my new favourite story from history

[thacmis]

Just an addition: “fart” also is slang for “bullshit” in Chinese, so his friend was basically writing “BS” on the dude’s ego poem

[roaringstream]

I’ve been trying to leave Rome for a few weeks now, but all their roads have this weird design flaw

[striders]

Hey is the build a bear employee supposed to force us to jump up and down or are we getting hazed

[girl-in-the-hitops]

as a build-a-bear employee it is my honor to happily inform you that we get to make everyone do whatever the fuck we want during a heart ceremony. jump to get that heart beating. rub that heart to your knees so your furry friend always needs you. rub it to your toes so it’s totally awesome! shake it up so it’s got enough energy to hang out with you all day! close your eyes, make a wish, and give it a kiss you helpless motherfucker

[afanofmanystuffs]

Look, reanimation is a Process, okay

[ohmightysmiter]

“Reanimation is a process” is a sentence that just makes me want to play a Necromancer as a very deadpan Build-A-Bear employee.

[party-slug]

finally, some good fucking news

[arcadetheatre]

What if life had loading screens.

You walk into Walmart, and it’s just like

[karazrel]

hozier is literally the only valid man

[toastbutteregg]

this is my life in summary

[unclefather]

[the-memedaddy]

[wolfgangreborn]

there’s a lot to unpack here