Teddyjon

Teddy, genderless, he/him. Welcome to the dumpsterfire i call my blog :D

[cryptonature]

It’s really that simple.

Withhold time/resources from organizations building an anti-human future

[tim-official]

ORC FACTS

the green color is not chlorophyll. they cannot usually photosynthesize. but sometimes they can

[the-orc]

my cousin lorbish can photosynthesize

[tim-official]

ORC FACTS

lorbish can photosynthesize

[verishere]

Me: "why don't I have the energy to write? Maybe I'm just a failure..."

The four hours of sleep and two packs of crackers that consist of all I've eaten of today:

[verishere]

FUCK THAT'S THE WRONG IMAGE

[prideprejudce]

so today a public health official guy came into my class to give a lecture on disaster awareness and he was talking about house fires and mentioned that the reason people most likely die during a house fire is because they refuse to leave their pet inside or they go back to get their pet. and right when he said this my friend immediately turned his head and looked at me and in that moment I had the most complete and genuine acceptance take over my body. I would 100% in front of my family and Jesus himself walk straight back into some raging inferno that was once my house to go get my fat cat. I nodded back

[prideprejudce]

the best part of this post is reading all the tags from animal people who would also go back to save their pets. like no hesitation. walk backwards from heaven straight back into hell. someone even said they would go back for their fish. amazing

[sterna-hirundo]

If you are a person who would walk into a blazing inferno for your animal, and your pet has free movement around the house, here’s a training exercise that could help save you both:

1) Set off your smoke alarm or play the sound on your phone (if your home has no smoke alarms, pease get some!)

2) stand BY THE FRONT DOOR to hand out treats

Do this a couple times and then keep it up NO EXCEPTIONS. Accidentally set the alarm off cooking? Treats by the door. Smoke alarm sound on TV? Treats by the door. Changing your smoke alarm batteries twice a year like you’re supposed to? Give them a test run and your pets get treats by the door.

Most dogs and cats will clue in VERY quickly that hearing that specific sound means go to the front door and wait for treats.

If there’s an emergency and even if you leave by another way, you will still know the most likely place your pet(s) is and can direct first responders to help.

You can also do this for any other kind of emergency alarm. My friend had both her cats trained to go to the front door for a tsunami siren.

[shabbytigers]

in other developments re german/anglo cultural exchange on breadstuffs, this image was posted to a facebook group yesterday

the following events ensued:

1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?

2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes

3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes

4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke

5. this absolute masterpiece:

[shabbytigers]

hi this tag perfectly encapsulates the FML coefficient of my life as a non-german speaker living in germany and i’m going to frame it

[only-cat-memes]

[forgwater]

[velvetys]

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

[catchyvideos]

[rimonoroni2]

what people don’t understand about how adhd is disabling is that it’s not just getting temporarily distracted from, like, school work or hobbies. it’s getting distracted/being unable to motivate yourself to go to the doctor, eat regularly, do hygiene tasks, etc. it’s not knowing when or how long it will take you to do something, ANYTHING, and in many cases that thing is taking a shower or keeping your house from turning into a biohazard. it’s about being fundamentally incapable of controlling your attention and focus on anything, even and especially things you need to do to survive.

[reinacandle8]

I feel like people keep forgetting that ADHD is in fact a disability and not just a dlc pack of quirks.

Like yea, ADHD positivity forever, but when do we stop acting like ADHD is all fun and games and not in many cases life endangering?

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 8

Waterboy (Dispatch)

Stanford Pines (Gravity Falls)

Remaining time: 3 days 21 hours

[degenezijde]

My vacuum cleaner broke because one screw got lost

Since this is my year of Complaining, I contacted Rowenta and asked if they could send me a screw or at least tell me what type of screw I need.

They mailed back with "Your vacuum cleaner is no longer under warranty :( but we'll send you the screw anyway for free", which is good but I do think it's funny they led with the no warranty.

[degenezijde]

The spare part arrived in a box that was a metre long. Because they didn't send me one screw, they sent me an entire new body.

[loki-zen]

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

[mtndewpitchblack]

[segamascott]

[quasi-normalcy]

[goldenzingy46]

[Image ID: Breaking news: Gritty announces it's illegal to be straight in the month of June

No more straight people | See something | Say something /End ID]

[triskeleaficionado]

[should-be-sleeping]

You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.

[should-be-sleeping]

[should-be-sleeping]

Good, I hope it haunts everyone about to enter a body of water so bad that they wear a life jacket. 🙌

[should-be-sleeping]

Every single person I knew (past tense) who has drowned was "a strong swimmer." Water in the wild does not care how good you are at swimming.

[should-be-sleeping]

I mean this with all due respect:

You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.

Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.

Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.

If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.

You may be unable to return to shore. Rescue may be unable to find you quickly.

[joanthreatt]

Scheduling this for when weather starts warming up. Be careful swimming this summer

[foolsturmoil]

beautiful interaction i saw on the internet today