shitposting at its finest

call me ded!

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[molabuddy]

we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away

[ggghoulish]

posting this here cause I’m still not over it. people who write instructions I love you you’re so funny

[evilwizard]

we need to team up… to put together the WB4723 48-Inch Workbench With Power Outlets and Lights… it will take all of our power… and though you are my greatest foe, i can’t do it without you !

[amoebasapph]

auto suggest bewilders me

[biglawbear]

No worries! I'm out walking

THE corpse

🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♂️

[whyenn-reader]

might be the headonism in me but what the fuck is a dopamine addiction. you mean liking feeling good?? in the one life you get????? what are you evangelical?????????

[whyenn-reader]

banger tags after bager tags on this post fellas

[butter-and-too-much-bread]

How to explain to people that the harmful part of addiction is the harmful patterns of compulsive behavior and not the parts that feel good?

[ciqqy]

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

[ciqqy]

[mumblesplash]

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

[mumblesplash]

so true there could be any number of undiscovered species down there all of which are none of my business and never will be. peace and love on (the surface of) planet earth 💕

[landscape-suicide-deactivated20]

It is really funny how much some tumblr users build their understanding of what is taboo in a degenerate immoral fashion vs what is taboo in a subversive radical fashion exclusively on aesthetic appeal so they’re willing to drastically alter their moral stances based on what media they’re obsessing over currently

[landscape-suicide-deactivated20]

Blogger obsessed with posting about sexual cannibalism and toxic doomed yuri complaining about incest fetishization… you’re two Ginger Snaps gifsets and a Flowers in the Attic excerpt away from trying to recreate Single White Female with your mutuals

[adhdavinci]

[t-rexseesyoursins]

Still never gonna be over the fact that it took Maes Hughes one night to figure out the truth about Amestris when it took the rest of the cast half the series

[castronomicalmistakes]

these tags lmfao

[anton--rayne]

neverrr check the notes on a poll where tumblr users are confronted with the possibility they could visit other countries

[natoapologistblocker]

The worst part is, these people have all been inoculated by pseudo-intellectual Tumblr discourse that Wikipedia is FREE UNBIASED COMMUNITY BASED COTTAGE CORE INFORMATION so they swallow it up instantly and uncritically

[natoapologistblocker]

Don't fucking hide this in the tags

[charlotte-fleming]

The best iteration of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson is very obviously the improvised comedy one, which starts with a heartbreaking scene of a man completely delirious with dementia and his best friend desperately trying to maintain normalcy, and ends with a heartbreaking scene of a man collapsing in his best friend’s arms, overcome with insanity, as his best friend prepares to shoot him.

[is-this-fascism]

if you came up to me and said you're in a time loop, i would believe you every time

[is-this-fascism]

if you came to me and said you were in a time loop, i'd believe you every time

[is-this-fascism]

if you told me you were in a time loop, i would believe you every time

[is-this-fascism]

if you ever told me you're in a time loop, i'd believe you every time

wait, why does this feel familiar?

[is-this-fascism]

if you came to me and said we were in a time loop, i'd believe you every time

wait, why am i getting deja vu?

[is-this-fascism]

if you came up and told me we were in a time loop together, i'd believe you every time

wait..... oh.

[is-this-fascism]

let me guess, we're in a time loop. i know. what are we gonna do?

[is-this-fascism]

yeah yeah, we're in a time loop together. i know. what are we gonna do?

[is-this-fascism]

i told you twice already, i know. we're in a time loop together. so, what are we gonna do?

[is-this-fascism]

so, we're in a timeloop together. what are we gonna d-

...what? you don't remember?

[is-this-fascism]

hey. do you... remember the time loop?

[is-this-fascism]

hey, i'm in a time loop! you have to believe me, please!

[is-this-fascism]

if i came up to you and said i was in a time loop, would you believe me even once?

[ola-na-tungee]

don’t cry, okay Sam? cuz yeah, playing at the Comedy Store is a real milestone for us, and the show’s been brilliant so far, but now we’ve turned you into a Silly Elephant and it’s a non-verbal role and you’ll have to do a full-on abs workout every time you make a sound, but please, don’t cry, Sam okay

[shutupmerlin]

A series of events:

1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet

2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday

3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer

4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put it on his desk

5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form

6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work

7.

[shutupmerlin]

Happy 2 year anniversary to the post that my old boss allegedly now has framed in his office, next to the recovered photo of his children.

[oldmanpusspuss]

why would you lie like that Google ai???

[oldmanpusspuss]

This post isn't about how insane john lennon was its about how Google has spent gazillion dollars making a machine that lies to you about john lennons mpreg fantasies!!!

[timmyytoughknuckles]

i drew shoot from the hip

[c3rvida3]

Me and my cousin have an ongoing bit where we pretend we made "slightly better" versions of things where we'll be like.

"That was a pretty good movie, but not as good as my movie, House of 1001 Corpses," or "I guess this song is okay. Kind of reminds me of a song I'm working on called 'Faster Car'."

Never once has it been funny or made anyone but us laugh.

[mucmucvi]

This reminds me of a joke I have with two of my cousins

[d3monl0ver]

rlly embarrassing when ppl act like topping/bottoming has any bearing on anything beyond how you like to fuck. grow up

[d3monl0ver]

you’re like, inches away from asking who’s the man and who’s the woman lol