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@terfs-hate-trans-men
Transmascs, what are issues you’ve faced in accessing healthcare, reproductive or otherwise?
This isn’t for a formal study, but I’d like to see how many issues there are that trans men face specifically for being trans men. I’m going to sticky this post as a reference for anyone curious. And to prove a point.
I think people should care about when trans men, trans women, or nonbinary people are the main target of something, but like, can we talk about how shit that’s intended to target one of those groups can affect the other? (Especially since this might be necessary for certain assholes to care about others apparently :/)
Like, bathroom bills. You ask any transphobe and their reason for bathroom bills is to “protect women from men invading their bathrooms” as if predatory cis men can’t just fucking walk in if they wanted. So, blatantly transmisogyny is at play here. But let’s say a bathroom bill passes and a trans man needs to take a piss. Legally, he’s obligated to use the women’s room… where he’ll be harassed, potentially beaten, and have the cops called on him. Then he gets arrested before they find out he was afab and start misgendering him on that basis. I can promise that would happen because the average cis person needs to have it explained to them that trans men exist, and a cis woman’s first thought at seeing a hairy, flat-chested person with a deeper voice is going to be “that’s a man”, regardless of his height, and if he’s wearing a trans pride flag, they’re going to assume he’s a trans woman. To top it off, there’s plenty of trans dudes who have encountered the awkward moment where a cis woman thinks you’re a man but a cis man thinks you’re a woman. Which means just using the men’s room illegally is still risky. I, for one, already don’t use public restrooms unless it’s a gender neutral one not because I’m not a man but because I don’t want to deal with cis bullshit. And that’s without a bathroom law telling me which one i can use. So, clearly laws made to be transmisogynistic will hurt trans men too. And nonbinary people as well.
Now, what about transandrophobia? Well, that would be any law about HRT access. Tighter controls? Very often done to prevent “confused women” and “lost lesbians” from “making a horrible mistake” that will “destroy their bodies” and affect their fertility because people with uteruses are baby factories I guess. But uh. You know trans women take HRT too, yes? So tighter controls on who has access to “cross sex hormones” means trans women lose out on their estrogen and spiro. The main target isn’t trans women, but trans women get fucked by this too!
My point is that pretty much all trans people are fighting for their rights. But if you’re trans, even if you’re not the same flavor of trans, they’re fighting for you too. Listening to and supporting each other is in everyone’s best interest here.
So I’m posting my genuine thought process here so that way people get a good context. If it sucks then I have ADHD and you’re going to have to deal with it.
Me, watching a new wave of transandrophobia discourse come up: Why are people saying that trans men don’t oppress trans women? (Genuine)
“The experiences are too different to compare”
But trans men oppress trans women on the basis of being men and women. Why would that be disagreed with? Gender is odd with us, and shouldn’t be taken as black and white, but I don’t think it’s this odd. It’s probably because if you’re specifying an oppressed group of men (bi men, disabled men, etc) as holding privilege over another gender, it comes as a different form from that specific group.
So how did we reach this point where trans men are holding a specific form of transmisogyny where others are saying it? Does it exist? If it does then how and where did it come from? Why does transmisogyny keep getting a red underline it’s a word damn it WAIT I CAN ADD IT TO DICTIONARY SUCK IT WINDOWS.
And why do trans men and other trans masc people have an adverse reaction to being told this? I found myself checking recently if these calls for unity are ever coming from trans women, and I’m sure some agree with them, but it always seems to stem from other trans mascs. It reminds me of when other white people are rallying to me saying that we should set race aside. It sounds fine on the surface, racial differences shouldn’t make anyone feel less welcome in a space, but what was really happening was ignoring the issues of an oppressed group and silencing them for speaking out. While my fellow trans men may not intend to do that, or be doing the same exact thing, I’m still very wary.
Maybe it’s just another instance of people not knowing how privilege and oppression works. That not everyone experiences the same exact thing but that there is a pattern of one group treated better than the other when it’s averaged across the population.
Trans mascs are using transandrophobia, and I have definitely seen instances of some saying that trans women are the ones who are silencing us over our own experiences. Thats not the case from what I’ve seen. Trans women have an issue when we say to “stop focusing so much on them!” and try to act as if people cannot care about more than one thing. It’s like we think there’s one spotlight and we need to push the other group out to get into it, but that’s not how it works. Trans women have hypervisibility and saying that they hold power over our invisibility with it is incredibly harmful. I can understand that it’s frustrating when we look up anything regarding transgender rights or media and it’s mostly if not all trans women because we are looking for something that relates to us, but that is not the intent or fault of trans women.
And when it comes to us talking about our experiences without that and someone says that it’s taking attention away from trans women, yeah, that’s probably wrong, but we need to be able to differentiate that.
Overall when trans men and women separate to talk about our experiences, it does not end well and we commonly end up complaining about one another. This is not beneficial to either of us but we do it because it’s much easier to do that than to acknowledge the transphobic society we live in. Being trans will make you distrust a lot more people, because someone can become your enemy the second you mention your gender identity when they were your friend a second ago.
There is without a doubt transmisogyny within transmasc circles and as a trans man I still find myself there because I want to have a sense of community. It’s hard to tell that when there is critique if the intention is pure or not.
I’ve had plenty of experience being told that I can’t reclaim the t slur even though I’ve been called it for being trans since it’s only used against trans women, and I see myself reclaiming it anyway because before it was used in self-hatred and reclaiming it has improved my internalized transphobia and mental health. I’ve been told to delete my anti terf blog because I don’t experience transmisogyny and that terfs don’t target me, when that’s a lie. So maybe when people say that trans masc people have privilege over trans fems, that’s what we think of. We think of our experiences where people forget that transmisogyny will always include transphobia, and that transphobia effects all of us regardless of gender identity or agab. And instead of continuing to fight the outside transphobia, the oppression we are facing in the first place, we end up arguing who is truly facing that.
The fact that many people treat transmisogyny as just “transphobia towards trans women” is not helping either.
So trans men do oppress trans women, but on the basis that men oppress women. Trans men have an issue with transmisogyny but there is still the issue where trans men have their experiences with transphobia down played.
—- End Process —-
And I don’t like spending my time on this because after interacting with terfs A Lot I know that this benefits them more than anything. I know that they will say that us trans men are being abused by trans women and held hostage because of our agab and other bullshit. But maybe this long fucking mess of a post will get critique or others to expand their way of thinking a bit.
On the one hand, I do not personally use “transandrophobia” or “transmisandry.” That is a personal choice. There’s too much baggage tied to misandry for me to be comfortable using it, at least right now. I will not no-platform those who DO use it, because trans men and trans masc voices are so often silenced and ignored by cis people in favor of demonizing trans women as sexual deviants. I want my trans brothers and trans masc/non-binary siblings to be heard.
With that said, we absolutely need a term to describe the specific type of oppression and marginalization trans men experience. Because we DO face it and it is different and distinct from transmisogyny or just plain “transphobia.” It is a specific type of condescension, infantilization, and ignorance of our voices on things like reproductive healthcare, or the VERY REAL NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES a lot of anti-trans legislation has on trans men (harassment in women’s bathrooms, being forced to either stop taking T or not start HRT to participate in sports at all because they cannot compete as men, ect.).
I don’t know, personally, what that term could be - something that we all agree on, something that can define the experiences trans men face at their specific intersection of being trans and AFAB that’s not just “transphobia.” Because it is, but again, it is different and distinct to trans men and trans masc people.
And I wish we did have an answer so we could go back to solidarity instead of this in-group fighting that is letting the people who want to treat us as subhuman garbage win.
Reading the comments on this post was infuriating, but also very sad. The trans community genuinely believe that the only options are transition or suicide. As a dysphoric woman, I know this isn’t true, and I wish that other dysphoric people could see that.
It’s an especially harmful rhetoric for dysphoric children and puts them on a lifetime path of unnecessary medicalization. Suicide is not the alternative to transitioning. Dysphoria can be managed in many other ways, and normalizing suicide as the only alternative to transitioning is beyond harmful.
Everyone: I did it because I tried everything else and nothing was helping
You: I know that's not true! I'm dysphoric and I was able to manage it in other ways so you can too!
You seriously don't have a fucking clue how these people tried to cope prior yet you're treating them as if they did nothing as their mental health went down the gutter.
I hate to break it to you but just because you were able to manage your dysphoria without transition doesn't automatically mean that everyone else can. I was legitimately in a 7 hr a day 5 days a week therapy program as a 15 year old for a month, was medicated with anti depressants, and still felt fucking miserable and hopeless. I was having suicidal thoughts at the age of 10 and was getting help for mental health since I was 8, yet 7 years of psychiatrists and therapists couldn't help me from getting worse and worse.
I'm 20 now and even during a global pandemic, college, financial hell, and a few other things, I'll have breakdowns but I don't think about suicide anymore. I've been on T for three years now so I say I've transitioned, even if I haven't had a surgery.
Oh, and my life experience isn't a story intended to lure innocent children into "unnecessary lifetime medicalization" either. Transition isn't even solely medical seeing as how I got much better by social transition.
People talking about their actual life experiences shouldn't be avoided for your fear of children seeing it and thinking that they're going to end up the same way. Hell, plenty of children would be in the same boat whether they saw it or not, I know I fucking was when I didn't even fully grasp the meaning of transgender, so much as visit these forums.
If you are looking at these comments and getting angry at these people for speaking about their struggles with suicide and how there's so much transphobia in the world that they had to wait until that point to start transition, then you need to rethink about how you're treating mental health issues as a whole. No one here is advocating for suicide by talking about their fucking struggles with suicide.
Just because you decided to manage your dysphoria this way and had the ability to doesn't mean that everyone else can. You do not know these people better than they know themselves.
Oh of course OP deleted their post.
Because of course she did.
Years ago I would have been desperate to try these “other options” OP describes.
Now it just makes me sick.
“Trans men are too visible”
When I was a kid I didn’t know it was possible to be transmasc. I knew about being trans for a long while but only thought it was trans women. Then when I came out a lot of people didnt think i could be trans since im transmasc.
We deserve to be seen. We deserve representation.
[cw: suicide mention] I didn’t know that AFAB trans people existed until I was 16, and not knowing that almost killed me, because my dysphoria was so bad that I couldn’t see a future where I could continue to exist.
It’s one of the reasons I’m a hell of a lot more out about being trans in situations where it’s safe for me to be so. Because if I can give just one AFAB trans kid that hope, that realisation that they can have the body and the life that they so desperately want, that would be enough. Even just one.
Same. And then when I DID find out about transmasc, I grappled for a long, long time about if I was transmasc ENOUGH, until I found out about nonbinary. Visibility is so, so important. It can literally be a matter of life and death.
I knew about trans men, but only very very few, and knew none in real life, at least those who were out.
When I finally realized I was trans, I panicked and for the longest time thought I was faking it.
It nearly killed me.
Trans men deserve to be visible. We deserve to be seen.
God not me fully just realising the EXTENT to which we disregard women in media in terms of using the right WORDS but when it comes to male pronouns and issues the word “men” is just fine.
When we see articles talking about menstruating, child birth, etc anything to do with our reproductive organs it’s always suddenly “PEOPLE with wombs” or “PEOPLE who menstruate”
Thought when it comes to men’s reproductive organs in media it’s always “men’s sperm count” “men’s ability to contract prostate cancer”
If we’re trying to be so gender inclusive and ‘woke’ why TF is it only women who are bearing the brunt of erasure??? Where is that same energy for men??? I’m not gonna sit here and listen to the argument of “THATS NOT TRUE” because YES. IT. IS.
Woman are no longer allowed to stake claim on our own bodies and our own experiences, men CONTINUE to erase what separates us from them in order to control what woman can and can’t do as if we don’t already suffer from being unautonimous.
it’s because trans men aren’t trying to wield political power by decimating the boundaries of cis men
Good lord, look I know this is probably going to go unanswered but THAT LANGUAGE IS NOT THERE SOLELY FOR THE BENEFIT OF TRANS WOMEN. It’s there because we, AS TRANS MEN, are not getting even the bare minimum access to care we need.
You claim to include us in your feminism yet whenever an issue comes up surrounding trans men’s comfort and safety, suddenly taking a huge dump on trans women becomes more important than remembering trans men exist, are NOT getting access to resources, and are absolutely not being included in your feminism.
(By the by, have you ever thought about the implications for trans men if trans people are forced into using only the spaces regarding their biological sex? The trans men and transmascs who will get beaten, pepper-sprayed, and inconvenienced by security because some Karen decided a cis man was in the bathroom with her? The trans men and transmascs who will be forced to compete against other women, especially those on HRT? The trans men and transmascs who will be turned away from abuse and homeless shelters because someone looked at a checklist and “clocked” them as male?)
I don’t like being that obnoxious TiF bitch but by GOD I will be that obnoxious TiF bitch until I see evidence that you are LISTENING and actually doing the work of including us and elevating our voices.
How to spot signs and symptoms of Breast Cancer
Reblog to literally save a life
whish they told us this in school, all they did was say “feel for lumps, you will know when you feel it”
This is important, even if it doesn’t work with your blog theme REBLOG IT!!!!
Women need to know this, not all of us have ever been told what we need to look out for!
yeah reblogging especially for my transmasc fellows who (like me) might be real uncomfortable with their chests and not know what to watch out for because we try to avoid this kind of thing (just me? okay)
Cis Men need to know it too. They can get breast cancer even though the odds are lower.
Everyone needs to know Breast cancer symptoms
to my fellow transmascs: you are great. you are special. you are funny and creative and wonderful. you are beautiful and divine. you should not be apologetic for your existence because there is nothing to apologize for. you constantly create joy in a world that tries to deprive you of it.
to my fellow transmascs, i hope these winter months are not too hard. i hope any holidays you may celebrate are easy, and if they are not, i want you to know that i love you. that i am rooting for you. that you will always have a space here on my little blog, and in my heart.
to my fellow transmascs, your masculinity is not evil. there is nothing wrong with you. you are not bad for being masculine. you are not a traitor. you are so, so lovely. you are so wonderful.
to my fellow transmascs, i am so proud of you. keep going. you can do this.
JKR literally wrote a manifesto against nonbinary people and trans men, and smeared autistic people while she was at it, so can y'all please stop acting like the JKR bullshit is somehow an issue unique to trans women only?
Stop acting like this isn't a community-wide issue that affects ALL trans people. Especially autistic trans people.
Our trans brothers & nonbinary siblings in the UK deserve better than this. Stop forgetting them. Stop erasing them.
Since some people are unaware of the breadth and depth of JKR's ableism:
In her award winning(!!!) essay, Rowling explained that she believes autistic trans men and boys (like myself) are not mentally competent to consent to our own medical care.
We're easily influenced, you see. Gullible. Liable to be led astray by militant trans activists, social media, and the glamour and popularity that comes with being transgender.
JK Rowling, outspoken feminist and champion for the rights of women, wants to deny medical autonomy to "girls" because she thinks we're overly-emotional, frivolous, and susceptible to peer pressure.
She has spoken directly about her belief that autistic "girls", especially, should not be allowed to transition because we're intellectually incapable of forming, recognising, and articulating our own identities, and especially vulnerable to "social contagion".
But, of course, the law doesn't (shouldn't) discriminate, and if autistic teens and/or adults can't legally consent to treatment of gender dysphoria, we can't legally consent to the treatment of anything. We won't be able to access any treatment or medication without approval from a responsible adult.
The ability of trans kids to consent to their own medical care has already been the subject of a court case (Bell vs Tavistock). It was overturned on appeal, but one of the potential consequences of that specific case was that cis teens could have lost access to hormonal contraception without parental consent.
If Rowling gets what she's said she wants, the knock-on effect may well be that autistic people in the UK lose the ability to live independently.
This is one of the things she's putting her social and financial clout into. Her ongoing activism is a danger to the lives and wellbeing of all trans people and all autistic people in the UK and abroad.
ever noticed how transwomen have this like, Schrödinger's dick?
individual trans people can use various names for their genitalia, and think about them in different ways to cope with dysphoria, but this isn't just about an individual's language applied to their own body. it leaks into politics, it becomes political, possibly often on purpose. that matters a lot, given what penises and vulvae are in the culture, what codes and associations are attached to them. penises are a tool of domination, vulvae are seen as "passive" and "nonthreatening".
ever heard that "transwomen often don't even think of their genitalia as a penis"? that it's not ok to call it a penis, that for most transwomen it's a "clitoris", that due to estradiol it's NOTHING like the average natal male penis, that it allegedly doesn't smell like one, doesn't feel like one, and is overall basically an overgrown clit?
that's usually said in context of "cotton ceiling" discussions, and discussions about transwomen in female only spaces. it's meant to convey that transwomen's genitalia are harmless because it's not really a penis at all.
simultaneously, whenever there's a discussion about repulsion towards penises in concept, negative associations with (aka "demonizing") penises, or about hetero sex, the same transwomen will say they have penises and thus are being harmed. the same transwomen who claim they basically have vulvae protest vulva art or any implication that women don't have penises. suddenly, it is a penis and needs to be respected as such.
it's Schrödinger's dick: not a dick when it's meant to be nonthreatening, but a dick when it's meant to be included.
interestingly, this only applies to MtF trans people. transmen often do refer to their clits, especially post testosterone, as penises - as a dysphoria coping mechanism - but it doesn't leak into the political sphere at all. transmen aren't brought up in discussions about penises. everyone knows that transmen have vulvae. a penis can "become" a clitoris in the public sphere; a clitoris can't "become" a penis, even though the changes transmen's genitalia undergo due to testosterone are way more dramatic than the ones transwomen's genitalia undergo on estradiol.
we shouldn't allow any group of people with penises to dictate their genitalia can be whatever they want, and demand that they're treated as whatever they want at the moment.
Times trans men get mentioned by transphobic feminists:
When we can be weaponized against trans women
When they try to bullshit their way into trying to convince people they’re Totally Not Transphobic, See, We Include Our Delusional Butch Lesbian Cisters With Their Wombynly Wombs And Sacred Passages, They Owe Us Everything Because They Can Use Credit Cards And Drive Those Ungrateful B*riches Why Won’t They Date Me, I’m A Nice Girl
Trying to justify conversion therapy against minors
Time trans men get ignored by transphobic feminists:
Literally every other time
Especially if we talk about the prejudice we face in accessing reproductive health care
And about our sexual assaults at the hands of other women, especially if said other woman is a TERF
Get a new grift, ladies. Stop trying to use us to justify your disgust with the bodies of trans women.
Actually INCLUDE US or shut the fuck up.
Can we talk for a moment about how weirdly pedophilic and predatory transphobes(terfs included) are like we see the conservative men and women fantasizing about sexual assault and condoning the idea that women are just objects that will be taken by any “man” that want, like rape isn’t illegal? (yes we have a problem with enforcement, as a survivor, I am well aware)
Then we also have this “feminist” moms that absolutely obsessed with how beautiful their Afab children are and how they will ruin their genitals and such but transitioning.
The whole thing is creepy transphobes. You creepy
im so confused, your argument is that mothers are pedophiles for being concerned that their children could face vaginal atrophy? or is there something im missing?
This seems like two different, extremely half-baked arguments that are not connected by much at all
Yeah maybe read some of the shit yall say.
so do u think mothers are pedophiles for being concerned about side effects their kids may experience? or did u mean smth else?
I mean it was a TERF who made comments about minor’s breasts being chopped off before they got to be “lovingly caressed”
There was also that one Tumblr troll who made comments about writing fanfic about “detransitioning” a trans boy who was a minor with sex
Or the one detransitioner who described trans men as “Pedophilic autoandrophiles”
Or whining about butch flight or “losing lesbians”
Or making creepy comments about Elliot Page looking like a sexual predator
Or the ACTUAL TERF PEDOPHILE here on Tumblr a few years back
I mean…pretend this is all about “““““““loving concern””””””” all you want but TERFs have so many issues with trans men, minors or not, and it absolutely shows
TERFs can’t seem to decide whether we’re poor deluded delusional lesbians who need “loving caresses” on our hungalongadunkaroos to bring us to our senses before we chop them off, sexual predators brainwashed because we saw a peepee in boy’s love fanart, or trenders trying to be super speshul snowflakes
And then wonder why trans men hit the road as soon as they’re out from under their parents’ manipulative thumbs and go no-contact
My partner is getting kicked out of their mothers house
I'll save the long Tumblr post since the link explains it but my partner Kwamie has less than four days to get out with no money or family members that can give shelter.
Our goal is $2000 but anything helps. We've been in bad situations before but nothing this fucking dire.
***EMERGENCY HELP NEEDED*** My name is Haven and I'm putting this to… Haven Dubeck needs your support for Help Kwamie get Shelter and
Kwamie does have a Tumblr under @biglipbarbie. Their internet is turned off and they can't get on right now but it's still helpful to add.
Updates:
We got a donation of $20 which is alone super helpful for getting public transport needed to replace important documents (social security card specifically).
Digging around online I found out that it is illegal to force an adult child that's not paying rent out without a formal 6 month notice. Meaning that their mom cannot call the police to force them out, which is what she was most likely planning to do.
We still need to get them out asap, but at least we know they can't be dragged out on the 12th.
More updates:
On Friday their mother picked up a stack of dishes and threw it at Kwamie, hitting their arm, before picking up their laptop and charger and taking it. She left the laptop downstairs on the couch after Kwamie threatened to call the police for theft.
Kwamie is searching through the house for any sort of identification documents or the SSN. So far there's no luck, and they can't replace any of them when they have no formal identification at all.
Today their mother hid almost all of the silverware so they can't cook food to feed themselves. Their dad gave them money for food and when the food actually arrived at the house and they were eating, their mom came down the stairs, naked I should add, and threw it onto the floor.
After I heard of this I downloaded a phone call recorder so if she does anything while kwamies on the phone with me, it'll be saved.
Currently the plan is to rent a car and drive 13 hrs there and 13 hrs back as transport. We'll probably need to call the police if we can't get anything by then because Kwamie has never had access to their SSN and you need that to do anything from getting a job to going to school.
We've made $40 so far which is still helpful, especially in this situation for food or transport emergencies.
If the 5$ min of godundme is too much then I understand that. If you're comfortable with giving to my PayPal then there's not a minimum to that to my knowledge.
The reason why it's not Kwamies is because they have no access to their SSN and PayPal needs that for them to get into their account. Which is still something I wouldn't trust and if you don't then their insta, where they have the app on their phone with internet, is biplipbarbie so you can ask them if this is all legit.
Silly abstract thing inspired by an ask @normal-horoscopes received recently. I wonder how it’d look on a pin…
Looks good without the meme text, too.
I’m just curious as to what the context behind “normal women” is. Would you be willing to explain? Thanks!
It’s a humorous inversion of how many cis people will say “I support normal women and trans women” implying that trans women are somehow a lesser, deviant form of womanhood.
My partner is getting kicked out of their mothers house
I'll save the long Tumblr post since the link explains it but my partner Kwamie has less than four days to get out with no money or family members that can give shelter.
Our goal is $2000 but anything helps. We've been in bad situations before but nothing this fucking dire.
***EMERGENCY HELP NEEDED*** My name is Haven and I'm putting this to… Haven Dubeck needs your support for Help Kwamie get Shelter and
Kwamie does have a Tumblr under @biglipbarbie. Their internet is turned off and they can't get on right now but it's still helpful to add.
Yes this is my main blog and is my post. Please share it because I'm fucking desperate.
For questions:
Kwamies Insta: biplipbarbie (which is actually on their phone)
i feel like cis people assume if you’re trans you’re either gay or straight and that’s why you barely ever see positivity posts for trans pan people so here’s your daily reminder that we’re here and we’re great! Pan trans women? amazing. Pan trans men? amazing. nonbinary pan people? you guessed it, amazing!
this is peak trans culture because this would have been easier with very nearly any other guitar design but she just haaad to use one shaped like the letter e. Not afraid of a challenge. Respect.
I would like to add that their name is E, literally just the letter E, like they’re in a spy movie. As if that wasn’t cool enough already she went and got a guitar shaped like her name. Fucking icon.
